Talking Weeds

The Day Joe Paterno Died

2012-01-23T04:42:00.000-08:00

On the day Joe Paterno died, people all over the world came together with family and friends to watch that uniquely American game of football, where wars are fought without bullets, but not without casualties.

They watched with the intensity reserved only for the AFC and NFC championship games. They watched many valiant and courageous men with the physical skills of gods play out the concluding dramas of a long season.

There were winners and losers, great efforts and great mistakes, and in the end, these strongest of the strong were left as they often are weeping and praying for millions to see as the the breaking point of one's physical and emotional limits is tested and transcended--aspects of the human spirit to which we can all relate, even if we never played the game.

But somewhere in the back of every football fan's mind there had to be a thought for the legend that was no more.

You see Joe Paterno was thought to be different--timeless, ageless, more like a throwback to ancient beings--a great patriarch on the level of a founding father or philosopher-type, and someone who could have had almost any thing he ever wanted, but who chose to live rather modestly, supposedly caring only about the integrity and work-ethic by which he lived and inspired others to live.

He just seemed larger than life--a man in his eighties with that strong profile and wavy hair--his image eternally electric and vibrant, like the colors on a crisp fall day in State College Pennsylvania.

Thought to be the opposite in so many ways to the modern, ego-obsessed celebrity, one seeking separation and special treatment, Paterno seemed only to care about the lives he molded and inspired and the legacy he would leave, about how he would be remembered and experienced for ages to come because of the values and leadership skills he had instilled in his players and coaches. Even his surname "Paterno" sounds like "paternal." The father figure we all knew we could always trust never to change and never to stray from doing what was right--someone eternally strong, like a face carved on the side of a mountain.

So how do you react when you find out this kind of father figure was not who you always knew him to be?

When reality shatters the illusion, how do we cope with such information? After a brief media firestorm, we mostly ignore it. But I think of the crushing burden, the soul of the deeds, if you will, done to those vulnerable young boys under Paterno's watch-- true, deeds committed by his associate--but for lack of any action on his part to stop them, deeds for which Paterno was ultimately responsible.

I think how even the smallest revelation of such acts of cruelty and exploitation must have worked over the years like an oppressive force on his chest and heart, little dark secrets that threatened to undermine all the trust and admiration that took so many years to build--until he literally and figuratively became unable to breathe under the weight of this pain (a cancer burning inside his chest) all in the name of protecting the image and brand that is any major college football program and especially Penn State.

But Paterno wasn't removed from that pain. He shared it in some real way. This is what most people do not understand--we're all so intimately connected to each other we never escape the vibrations of what we create or even what we allow. No one ever gets away with anything. Victim and oppressor are forever linked.

In the end we may never completely know whether Paterno was more betrayed or betrayer? Was his trust in his life-long associate so great that he failed to see what was really going on? Or was he merely a hard-hearted, completely calculating individual who was so arrogant as to think he could never fall from grace, no matter the circumstances?

Now I can only offer a prayer for those boys who suffered under the abuse and probably struggled mightily to put their lives back together after they were so terribly let down by people they thought they could trust, and also a prayer for Joe Paterno's soul.

Not one of us is immune to or above this cycle of suffering that is so intricately woven into what it means to live on this planet. Is there some greater place of redemption after death? Some aspect of mysteries not yet revealed that allows us to make right the deeds gone wrong? All we know for sure is that if we're alive, we still possess some ability and some opportunity for redemption and for compassion. We can still love and heal if we put our intentions into that space.

The Main Difference Between Congressman Ron Paul and President Barack Obama

2012-01-22T11:11:00.000-08:00

Obama's brand of socialism seeks to establish a safe and comfortable national state of mediocrity with acceptable (though increasing) levels of servitude to which Americans have become accustomed, whereas Paul's brand of freedom is a tougher sell, implying the unpredictable and sometimes even dangerous, while simultaneously requiring individual responsibility that has limited appeal to the majority of modern-day Americans. Freedom as an American theme is losing out to the (sadly false) notion of security grounded in governmental institutions providing a workable welfare state. The entrepreneurial spirit (imperfections notwithstanding) that helped make America great and practically unique among nations seems to appeal to a smaller and smaller minority of the population as time passes. If indeed freedom is just too frightening a concept for humans at this time and place in world history, there will be no shortage of ideologies and politicians willing to usurp what little vitality remains. This is merely an observation rather than a condemnation or approval of one viewpoint over the other. Has freedom outlived it's usefulness for our species?

For Caretakers: Herbs for Helping/Healing Elders

2012-01-22T10:04:00.000-08:00

For those of you caring for elders, you know how challenging the health issues they face can be. In the last year I have been faced with helping my mother (who is almost 87 years of age) find her way toward healing from a number of health challenges she has recently been facing. In fact I have become her primary caretaker. She had a prolonged hospital stay in 2011, and after she came home, she didn't seem to get much better.

Throughout the past several months, we have negotiated the tricky course of doctor visits and prescriptions for a host of ailments--the entire process of addressing one symptom or manifestation of her illness after another reminds me of pushing a balloon under water because as soon as we think the balloon (or symptom/ ailment) is down, it seems to pop up somewhere else in another form--extraordinarily frustrating for patient and caretaker.

With all the doctors we've visited and tests she's taken, outside of her initial hospital visit for pneumonia, we never really received an accurate or useful diagnosis, and I can not say even what her healing journey will turn out to be, but I have found many green allies to be helpful to both of us through this difficult trek.

Knowing the risks of the many drugs she has been prescribed, I have felt much more confident using herbs to attain similar (or better) outcomes than the drugs, but without the potential for dangerous side effects. Though I can not say for certain what her outcome might have been had we stayed completely on the path of western/scientific medicine using only drugs, I can say that mom's mental clarity and inner vitality remain strong, and I credit that to using herbs rather than drugs.

Just some of the issues we needed to address included: severe body-wide inflammation, manifesting in the form of itching, rapid heart rate, edema, blood clots, anemia, shingles, nervousness and anxiety, general weakness and fatigue, depression, weight loss--just to name a few!

Some herbs that have become invaluable helpers (tinctures made from fresh plant material):

St Johnswort--Hypericum perforatum--made from the fresh, flowering plant tops (Alcohol-based tincture, dosage 50-150 drops, and infused oil, massage topically as needed). Effective at calming the nervous system and also anti-viral. Particularly effective against shingles virus, use both the oil topically to the affected areas and the tincture, orally in a glass of water several times a day. In addition to a gluten free diet, we found this herb to be the healer of severe itching which plagued her for months--the anti-histamines and other medications the doctors provided did very little. St Johnswort calmed the itching, and we still apply it topically to the commonly affected areas like back and shoulders to keep the itching away before bedtime. Allows for a very restful sleep when massaged onto the back at night too.

Wormwood--Artemisia absinthium (Alcohol-based tincture, dosage 5-15 drops, as needed only). A great friend of the digestive system, helpful for alleviating gas and bloating. A small amount sipped in a glass of water will work miracles for painful gas! Don't use Wormwood for long periods of time.

Osha Root--Ligusticum porteri (Alcohol-based tincure, dosage 5-15 drops, as needed only). For severe allergic condition, for example, itching in this case. Will work as a temporary solution only, reducing histamines for a short period of time. May lose its effectiveness if taken too frequently, best when needed only.

Motherwort--Leonurus cardiaca (Alcohol-based tincture, dosage 10-25 drops, several times a day as preventative/tonic or as needed in acute situations). A great heart tonic, especially effective at slowing a rapid heart rate and improving the rhythm of the heart. Motherwort also relaxes cramps and aids the proverbial heart in times of stress and upset.

Oatstraw--Avena sativa (Infusion, dosage up to one quart a day). A great heart tonic, aids in improving the heart's ability to pump efficiently, thereby reducing edema. Oatstraw is also a nervous system tonic, and we found it effective in calming down her nervous system, especially in the periods of intense itching. Oatstraw combined with St. Johnswort, both the tincture orally and the oil topically, really helped alleviate her terrible itching. Oatstraw also builds muscle and helps to promote a healthy weight.

Red Clover--Trifolium pratense (Infusion, up to one quart a day). Helps thin blood and improve circulation. Anti-carcinogenic as well. Good for people prone to blood clots.

Rosemary--Rosemarinus officinalis (essential oil, 10-15 drops in a small container filled with the medium of choice, see below). Rosemary is useful in toning down arthritic inflammation in her joints, especially knees and hands--for a warming effect dilute several drops in olive oil; for a cooling effect use chilled Aloe Vera gel as the medium. Gently massage into the affected areas. Relief is immediate, but you must use every day.

Additionally, I have found organic grass-fed beef to be quite useful in addressing her anemia and in general building up her strength. We switched to a gluten-free diet a month or so ago when we were getting no relief for her severe, all-over kind of inflammation, manifesting in the form of itching. Combining the gulten-free diet with the herbs (especially St. Johnswort and Oatstraw) has made a huge difference to where the itching is almost non-existent.

Note: Some of the herbs mentioned here can be purchased at: www.redmoonherbs.com.

REALITY

2012-01-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

The blue dot is everything we know.

The space surrounding the dot is all there is to know.
.
The blue arrow is the way our perceptions reduce us to focus only the dot while mostly ignoring the space.

Now, to make the analogy work, imagine the blue dot to be infinitely smaller and the space (the unknown or unacknowledged) to be infinitely larger.

Imagine the blue arrow to represent our egos and institutions and all paradigms currently accepted by the human race.

That's reality.

"We favor the visible, the embedded, the personal, the narrated, and the tangible. We scorn the abstract."
--Taleb (from Fooled By Randomness)

Regarding Crohn's Disease

2011-10-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

One of the key points I find in Susun Weed's book Healing Wise is that any and all "disease" manifests uniquely in each individual, not the other way around—as science often sees the individual morphing into the disease! You are not a disease or a diagnosis, but a person who is manifesting this "disease" in a very unique and personal way—no matter the similarities you might share with anyone else who might have Crohn's Disease, your situation is unique to you and what might work for someone else may or may not work for you.

In a sense there are no diseases in Susun Weed's philosophy, only the disease as it manifests uniquely in the individual—this is a fine but important point. Whenever we're addressing something like Crohn's disease, or any chronic condition for that matter, we don’t want to ignore this observation.

Keep in mind the goal of the Scientific tradition is to return you to normal life as you were, but in this case normal life might have contributed to the problem. Let's promote healing that will make you better than you were before!

Let’s address the chronic inflammation associated with Crohn's and the nourishment required to promote healing. We want to add in foods and lifestyle choices that lower inflammation and increase nourishment, allowing our bodies to heal.

After a certain amount of time—hours, days, months and even years, each and every cell in the body is made new again—in essence we can remake our bodies cell by cell over time—we can heal through simple choices and time becomes our ally.

Consider Including:

Raw Diary Products
Few foods are more health promoting than raw diary, milk, cheese, ghee, kefir, yogurt—when from organic and especially raw milk, these foods promote healthy flora in the gut; this healthy bacteria is the building block for intestinal health as well as a strong immune system--bring more of these foods into your diet. I've written a lot about Birchwood Farm Diary—check them out! This is the starting place for healing Crohn's!

Grass Fed Beef
Will help restore your strength and vital energy that has been depleted by the stress of the disease. Loaded with nutrients and healthy fats--only from organic sources--can be found in many stores now a days. If the beef is too hard to digest, try the soups listed below.

Nourishing Soups (Beef Bone or Marrow soup)
See a recent blog I've written on this soup.

Wild Salmon
Stay away from farm-raised, but the wild salmon is a very healing food; contains Omega-3 fatty acids which lower inflammation.

Dandelion Greens
Super healing power for your GI tract! Great with other mixed greens, like spinach, and topped with herbal vinegars and extra virgin olive oil—add cheese and apples, tomatoes, pears, anything really—make a super salad! Just don’t eat salads raw—when you put olive oil on them, they are in a sense "cooking."

Saturated Fat from Organic Sources
A very valuable source of good health—much maligned and overlooked in today's modern culture.

Omega-3 Fatty Acids
They turn off inflammation!

St. John's Wort Tincture
An herb that is anti-inflammatory—can be used liberally! Try to get the tincture made from the fresh flowering tops.

Motherwort Tincture
Stops cramps and spasms.

Wormwood Tincture
A great digestive aid, use sparingly though, has hallucinogenic effects! Great for alleviating gas and bloating, best used after eating, a small dose (5-10 drops) in a glass of water. Instant relief.

Herbal Vinegars
A real super-star of nutrition and healing. Red Moon Herbs sells them or you can make your own—see my blogs.

Sleep
You must have nourishing restorative sleep—that means no light and no technology in the room. Turn everything off, sleep in the dark. Make your bed a sanctuary for healing.

Vitamin D
The sun is good for anything that ails you as vitamin D is very important in healing chronic conditions.

Stinging Nettle, Red Clover and Oatstraw Infusions
Turn off inflammation and promote healing. They are super herbs for anyone wanting to heal Crohn's.

Lowering Stress
Energy Healing with Traditional Chinese Medicine (Acupuncture and Herbs), Yoga, Tai Chi, Reiki, animals gentle yoga (vinyasa). Spending time with animals lowers stress, but really be with them, not talking on the cell phone and barely noticing them.

Consider Avoiding:

All Vegetable Oils
The great bane of modern civilization—avoid them at all costs! Only use extra virgin olive oil.

Gluten
A substance almost no one can digest.

Non-Organic Diary or Meat
Can have a detrimental effect on your health.

Processed or Cured Meat (anything with nitrates/nitrites)
Really bad for your GI tract.

Artificial Sweeteners
Some of the worst stuff on earth.

High Fructose Corn Syrup
Destroys your digestive system.

Soy Products
Bad in general unless fermented like Miso or Tamari.

Processed Foods
They have a lot of the bad stuff on this list.

Raw Foods/Cold Foods
Too tough to digest!

High Carbohydrate Foods
Grains and things made from them are generally not great—if you must have bread, try spelt bread or bread made from sprouted grains.

Alcohol
Creates inflammation in any cell it touches.

Electromagnetic Radiation
Don't put your laptop on your lap—use a speakerphone when talking on the cell, avoid wireless zones, especially where you sleep!

Either of these lists could be much, much longer! These are just some ideas. I'd be happy to take questions or to discuss this further. E-mail me or post comments.

BEEF BONE SOUP

2011-10-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

A hearty winter soup designed to build blood and keep the immune system strong!

Ingredients:
a few decent sized Beef Bones (organic/local, grass fed-beef)
some Beef Shin Meet on bones (organic/local, grass-fed beef)
2-3 decent sized Onions
a half bunch of Celery
a few cloves of Garlic (to taste)
spices:
Cilantro
Oregano
Thyme
Sea Salt
2 or 3 small Dried Ginseng roots (organic and aged 5+ years)

In a 2 gallon pot, I fill the pot about 3/4's full of filtered water. Let it come to a boil and add all the above ingredients. Stir occasionally and let it boil vigorously for at least an hour and then leave it on a gentle but noticeable boil for several hours; I will even leave it overnight sometimes, just take care that it isn't boiling too fast or it will evaporate. The soup should get really dark when it is ready. You can see how dark it gets below--that was after about 12 hours.

You can have this alone as a broth or mix it into other soups, especially vegetable soups or bean soups to beef them up! The beef on the shin bones is quite tender and very nice in it's own right. I would eat the beef first and then keep the soup (mostly broth) refrigerated or frozen until you use it.

Enjoy and be well!

ADDITIONAL NOTES:
Many experienced cooks have told me I might want to brown the bones first before adding them to the soup. Put them on a pan in the oven at say 350 degrees for about 45 minutes or so, and then add them to the soup. Additionally, I've been told that adding 1/2 cup of apple cider vinegar to the soup will help extract the minerals from the bones--and to cook the magical brew as long as possible, even for a day or more! I can say the taste with the vinegar added and the bones browned is a little different, slightly more tangy. You may also want to refrigerate the soup so the fat rises to the top and can be skimmed off if desirable. Later you can re-use the bones at least one more time in another soup. Say I make the bone soup and then use the bones again in bean soup, that works very well. After that, give the bones away to a dog!

A Visit to Birchwood Farm Diary

2011-10-22T09:01:00.000-07:00

A Visit to Birchwood Farm Diary

On a damp, late October afternoon I stopped for a moment at one of the front paddocks at Birchwood Farm Diary in Newtown, PA, fast becoming one of my favorite places! The damp chill of the day was overshadowed by the rising warmth of the pasture and that wonderful smell of cows in a field. Like steam rising from dung, the aroma of a warm, happy life permeates this place.

Cows have brought such amazing gifts to the human species, we should have more respect for them and let them live as nature intended, eating grass and having space to roam around, like they do at Birchwood Farm Diary.

This particular cow was unconcerned with my observation and perhaps unaware of the happiness I felt at being able to go to a farm that specializes in raw diary products, which despite their incredibly healthy effects, are actually illegal in my home state of New Jersey!

The aroma wafting from that field, a mixture of mud and dung and sweet hay and mist in the last days before the first frost, summer hanging on for a few more precious hours, made me thankful for the cows and thankful to be alive, nothing more and nothing less.

A Very Good Time to Pray and Dream

2011-10-18T14:25:00.000-07:00

Now is an especially good time to open ourselves up to dreams and visions and spend some time in being more receptive to information from all kinds of sources. Richard C. Hoagland is saying the comet Elenin is bringing us messages from our ancestors, that it is actually a time capsule of sorts sent from the last time the earth's advanced civilization destroyed itself (or was destroyed) about 11,000 to 13,000 years ago--and that we're again at that precipice--Elenin's presence is facilitating the outpouring of information we need to save ourselves and the planet. We should pay special attention to our dreams in the next few weeks, write them down, share them and act on them.

Hoagland highlighted a few special dates to keep in mind, October 20 and November 11.

Here's his Facebook page for more information. Look, you can think what you want about Hoagland, but at the very least he inspires me to think differently, and I really like that! God Bless him, really!

I do believe this is a special moment in human history--so why not seize this opportunity? The world is awakening, and the best way to do that is to dream!

Yes, this is a very good time to pray, to meditate, and to dream!

Can Trauma Be Passed Down to Generations Unborn?

2011-10-04T05:04:00.000-07:00

Leila Levinson is the author of Gated Grief: The Daughter of a GI Concentration Camp Liberator Discovers a Legacy of Trauma. She made a visit to Brookdale Community College on October 3, 2011. Her talk was sponsored by Brookdale's Center for Holocaust, Human Rights and Genocide Education. Levinson discussed the origins of her book Gated Grief and her continued work on finding wholeness for veterans and their children.

Levinson is exploring an important thesis that has seldom been looked at in any depth in research or popular culture.

Specifically, she asks the questions:

Does the trauma veterans experience get passed down to their children?

What is the short-term and long-term impact of war and it's related horrors on the veteran and the veteran's family and community upon returning home?

Her father was Doctor Reuben Levinson. After his death in 1988, she discovered a box full of photographs he took as an Army surgeon while liberating the Nordhausen Concentration Camp; she was previously unaware of her father's experiences at Nordhausen--and of his mental breakdown which occurred shortly after being among the first US troops to liberate that camp. Levinson went on to interview other liberators and extract her thesis (and later her book) from their experiences.

That her father witnessed atrocities and never spoke about the war really shocked her. She learned, in his way of thinking, "silence was protection."

This protection lasts only as long, however, as veterans could keep all they had witnessed and experienced to themselves--a mighty struggle and one that becomes all consuming.

One veteran told her, "I am certain they [the memories] will destroy me" and "I have to struggle every day to stay alive [against the crushing weight of all he had seen]." In this way these and similar individuals are still fighting a war many decades later, protecting their families and communities from the enemy that is their experience, keeping this energy locked within themselves, but the problem with energy is that it minds no physical boundaries. After a certain point, the processes of fighting against one's body and the energetic vibrations trapped within become impossible and self-destructive.

I knew of many veterans who used alcohol and adrenaline as forms of self-medication to keep the resonance of their experiences trapped deep inside, and Levinson spoke of her father's "workaholic" nature. A noted physician with the VA once told me, the problems for combat veterans really arise after they retire when suddenly they have no barriers, such as hard work, between themselves and their experiences--to quote him:

"[regarding therapy, some] will get in a group, and they will accept their wounds, their psychological wounds, and talk about where they are and what they are experiencing, and I think that can be healing as opposed to denial of who they are, what they’ve experienced, how it affected them, because that’s going to come out in some form of behavior--a lot of avoidance--and some will use a lot of alcohol and drugs to avoid, others will just work hard and kill themselves through work, others just can not relate to others, family even, because they’re so busy trying to keep this 'other' what we now call PTSD under control. . . .[all the good programs] try to get people to confront the demons, if you please--confront that part of themselves they’ve formally denied, make peace with it and say, sure, it is part of me."

What one understands as the daughter or son of, in this case, a combat veteran is that something momentous and terrible has happened and it continues to affect us, and even if we're not completely aware of the original trauma, we can still sense the overall impact of this trauma as it influences us in very tangible ways. That mystery can wreck havoc in the psyche of a child having enough trouble finding his or her place in the world and dealing with the normal challenges of growing up, and when you factor in the added layer of the parent's trauma, you've got serious issues that will manifest in a host of psychological and physical illnesses.

I believe the field Levinson is exploring is closely associated with epigenetics. Epigenetics seeks to understand how environment can affect one's DNA as there would certainly be no prior scientific explanation for the effects of PTSD, for example, on the children of the veteran until epigenetics comes along. In this view one can actually understand how the DNA of the child is altered as it is expressed by the experiences of the parents. As the longest war in US history continues to rage, this idea has huge implications.

Seemingly closer to native cultures, shamanism or even Tibetan Buddhism, rather than science, epigentics presents a holographic universe, far from the Newtonian, reductionist world view. These ideas also meld seamlessly with Susun Weed's Wise Woman philosophy of healing as expressed in her book Healing Wise.

Certainly, there is great power and healing potential in Levinson's thesis, and also great responsibility. Particularly relevant to combat veterans but applicable to all of us, we must ask if we are shaping future generations in positive or negative ways with our thoughts and actions?

We must understand that all trauma is shared, and we can go a long way toward wholeness and healing when we start from this premise.

In Gated Grief Levison writes: "Without the chance to mourn their losses, veterans risk becoming stuck in their anger or numbness. They lock deep within themselves the terrifying images so as not to harm the people they love. But the images do not fade. Time only laminates them. . . .What would it mean for veterans if instead of victory parades we collectively acknowledged what the war took from them?" (256)

Indigenous people and those who've studied the legacy of slavery, for example, have long understood what has been referred to as group, historical or inter-generational trauma. I've included some links below to explore further this particular phenomenon.

Levinson's website: Veterans' Children.

A brief look at epigenetics.

The Gift of Diabetes explores inter-generational trauma as it is manifests in the epidemic of diabetes experienced by the First Nations people of Canada.

From the Indian Country Diaries a similar viewpoint, though they focus more on the physical aspects of passing down trauma, the same concept works for those seeking to understand the energetic relationship between the trauma of the parents and community and how their children and future generations are impacted.

Dr. Maria Yellow Horse Brave Heart of Columbia University is on the cutting edge of this inter-generational trauma research. Here's a video of a recent lecture. To view the entire video, just click on each subsequent part as it pops up at the end of each segment.

SUFFERING

2011-09-11T19:19:00.000-07:00

A profound sadness envelopes each of us simply due to our existence on this planet--each of us share some part of this suffering; the condition is just what it is to be born and to live and die. The best hope is for the pain to drive us to be more compassionate, to be more mindful of the suffering of our brothers and sisters.

Most of our dysfunction stems from the desire to leave this suffering unacknowledged, the result being a fragmented life, one that takes us farther away from the wholeness and healing we ultimately seek.

September 11, Ten Years Later: From Ground Zero to Comet Trails

2011-09-03T03:54:00.000-07:00

The comet Elenin, named after the Russian mathematician and amateur astronomer Leonid Elenin who discovered it on December 10, 2010, is currently passing through our solar system. Elenin will be closest to the sun right around September 10-11, and then travel toward the earth throughout September until late October when Elenin moves away from the earth forever; earth's orbit will take us through the stardust trail left by the comet's wake in November. As if we needed any other markers of the tenth anniversary of 9-11, there will also be a blazing full moon in New York City on September 11, 2011.

Comets have long been associated with paranormal, miraculous or even catastrophic events. The births and deaths of rulers were often foretold with the advent of a comet, but my favorite comet story has to be when Mark Twain used one to announce the date of his death: I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year (1910), and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together." He did in fact go out with that comet.

Regarding Elenin, many Internet theories have been put out there featuring the usual doomsday scenarios and conspiracy theories while mainstream scientists say, of course, it's just a little comet, and not a big deal as space stuff goes.

Richard C. Hoagland, alternative thinker, scientist and underground philosopher, has gone on George Noory's popular radio show Coast to Coast AM saying he believes Elenin could be a time capsule or even some type of space-ship sent by our long-departed ancestors just as their world was crumbling under the weight of some natural or unnatural disaster that wiped out most of the human species and all it's very advanced technology many thousands and thousands of years ago.

This thought form that our ancestors once lived in civilization that was much more technologically sophisticated and advanced in every way, and all at once some catastrophe, perhaps even an asteroid, wiped this advanced civilization off the globe (and we had to start over just to get to the point at which we are now) is rather widespread.

Even the Bible contains similar ideas, first with the notion of a Garden of Eden or Paradise from which man and woman were forever expelled, then forced to fight for survival in a harsh world of suffering and pain, and later with the story of a great flood wiping out almost all of the earth's population and animals.

Science will admit something, maybe an asteroid, wiped out the dinosaurs and drastically changed the climate in an instant. There is in fact scientific evidence of dramatic climate change in ancient times. Even the idea of Atlantis, this once great, but now long-lost civilization, goes back at least as far as ancient Greece.

I once knew a legendary shaman who informed me in the "old days" humans had incredible powers, such as telepathy and the ability to move huge objects with their minds--he knew how the pyramids got built! In fact there were similar sites all over the world, places often marked by huge stones where people of all tribes would gather to work healing miracles. Their technology and even their spirituality were so far advanced from where we are now. And again, it has taken us all these thousands of years just to rebuild to this point, a mere shadow of our former glory. Back then the "technology" was actually inside of us, not outside as in all our hi-tech gadgets--we were interconnected to it in ways we can't imagine today.

No one really know what happened, but I suspect the way of life these ancients lived became unsustainable much like our current human activity on the planet.

So here we are about to fall off the proverbial cliff once again.

Hoagland theorizes that just before their demise our ancient relatives left us a time capsule or some other way of sending out information, sacred space-scrolls if you will, in an attempt either to tell us what happened to them, what is going to happen to us, or even to help us prevent it from happening again. We are at the point they were once at--a moment or two before the end. Elenin is that time capsule.

Astronaut William Anders took this picture from space in 1968 during the Apollo 8 mission. Named "Earth Rising" it became one of the most famous and influential photographs ever. So that's how we look from out there. If you look closer though the scene changes dramatically.

At the very least I am willing to see Elenin as a celestial memorial to September 11. Since the comet is showing up right around the tenth anniversary, I can't help but make such connections. You may or may not forgive (better yet accept) the holographic model I embrace, but I look for meaning in everything I see.

Going back ten years now, I'll never forget the funerals I witnessed in New York City during the fall of 2001. I rode the bus on Fifth Avenue past St. Patrick's Cathedral almost every day back then, and there were what seemed like never-ending funerals and memorial services for the fire-fighters and police officers killed the morning of September 11. These rituals went on for months and months. Sometimes more than one in a day. The tragedy was not lost on me. But can you possibly imagine that level of suffering expanded on a global scale, multiplied exponentially? Exported to millions instead of thousands?

Since the deaths of approximately three-thousand Americans on that terrible day, over one million seven-hundred thousand people have been killed or seriously wounded as a result of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The total cost of the war to the United States at the time of this writing is over 1.2 trillion dollars.

But never mind the plans of the Bush/Cheney administration, a bunch of rejects from the Vietnam Era who were seeking some sort of shadow redemption for the failures of the nation's foreign policy in Vietnam, revisiting a disastrous policy that would now be inflicted again, like a bad Hollywood sequel to a bad film, on the world, I knew we were in trouble one day shortly after the attacks while sitting at a community table at a famous vegetarian restaurant in lower Manhattan and these hippie/vegan types, over their tofu and sprouts, were literally calling for the blood of those who had done this to their city. I was left speechless. Shortly after that I started eating meat again.

After that unsettling dinner I went home to New Jersey to my favorite beach on the Jersey shore. Once there I could still see the dust and smoke clouds from the attacks drifting past the tranquil waters--that trail went on for miles and miles. The air eventually cleared, but the toxic shadow we as a nation fell into has not passed. Do we now seek stardust or ashes?

Like a portal to a chaotic new existence, the destruction of the twin towers has taken our world in a direction no one could have predicted, mostly because of the war that followed. War breeds chaos and a never-ending war never ending chaos. What so many feared would happen during the transition from 1999-2000, actually happened in a different way in 2001.

Even as our economy continually teeters on the brink of disaster, and the climate becomes more unstable, not simply from warming but rather human activity, mainly deforestation and destruction of wetlands, we have done very little to alter our destructive impact on the earth's eco-systems. In fact we've plunged even further into denial of the obvious--the manner in which we humans are living on this planet is not sustainable. But we resist change until the end.

I need to ask how we allowed our government continually to exploit the memory of the victims, the heroic acts of the first responders, the NYPD and NYFD, and all the dedicated and fearless ground zero workers--and later the unwavering commitment and sacrifice of our all-volunteer military--and used these people up like they were nothing more than disposable machinery? And the rulers of our country gave nothing back. They still won't even cover the cancers first responders suffered as a result of their exposure to the toxins at ground zero--that these heroes even have to fight for these benefits is completely absurd. During that time period, immediately following the attacks, we were all completely manipulated by fear and through strong-armed tactics, as the Congress passed restrictive legislation seeking to impose a system of complete control over every aspect of our lives. Now it is common practice to grope six-year-old children and senior citizens in wheelchairs at airports. Like submissive animals on the way to a slaughterhouse, we take our shoes and belts off and submit to these personal intrusions all in the name of security and the war on terror, one the very leaders and civilian planners exploited for their own financial and political gain. All the while we were worried about anthrax in the mail and dirty bombs going off in the subway, the rape of our economy was just getting ramped up. The denizens of wall street that were almost destroyed by the terrorists now decided to destroy the rest of us with their never ending casino finance games, ultimately taking everyone down with the crash of 2008, and ending with the greatest transfer of wealth in human history during the Bush and Obama bailouts--more like an absurd and absolute mockery of all the best values that motivated our founding fathers and mothers to create this nation in the first place!

As we focused our attention on the threat from a small number of terrorists, our own government destroyed what was left of the country from within. All the while the greatest threat to our ultimate security, the destruction of our planet, goes on unchecked and even accelerated.

Since September 11, 2001 there has been more greed, corruption, violence, slavery, exploitation and terror than at any point in human history. War has not honored the memory of the fallen in any good way.

Perhaps the war did make us safer in an immediate way--we did bring the fight to them rather than have them take it here, but is it a lasting, sustainable peace or more Carthaginian in nature? However long we are able to enjoy the fruits of all that blood, the cost we've paid and will be paying for the rest of our lives is dramatic and all encompassing: we are now an intellectually stagnant, completely cynical, economically bankrupt nation where constant political bickering is all we've got left--a nation left rudderless with no vision and no creativity, drained of its vital life force. Worse than all this,we are left without the resources (both financial and psychological) to address the really difficult and important problems we must now face. If the current state of affairs continues,where will be ten years from today?

Maybe Elenin really is a cosmic memorial for the fallen and even a way of accessing information from the ancient ones, information that can lead us toward wholeness. Maybe we can still choose to ascend through comet trails and fly with the souls of our holy ancestors and the departed, experiencing the wonders of the galaxy, rather than remaining trapped in the never-ending cycle of violence and suffering passed down from generation to generation our egos seem to crave so desperately.

I see the flash of the comet trail as the majesty of the spirits of our departed ancestors, visiting us once again, allowing us the grace of another chance to turn things around. Let's not take this grace for granted.

REFERENCES AND LINKS:

Click here to see a memorial to the victims.

To see the financial cost of the war click here.

To see a list of military casualties click here. To see who they were as human beings and not just statistics click here.

Click here for a closer look at the numbers of civilian deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan.

HERBS TO TAKE WITH YOU TO COLLEGE

2011-08-17T08:52:00.001-07:00

AN HERBAL FIRST AID KIT FOR THE COLLEGE STUDENT!
A SIMPLE OVERVIEW

Herbal Tinctures
1 dropper full=25 drops
Always take in a small glass of water, not directly under the tongue!

All these herbs are safe and easy to use. They may well come in very handy. I'd know I'd want them with me if I were going away from home.

For Infections:
Echinacea Root
Dose, take 1/2 your body weight in drops, several times a day. Lessen the frequency as the infection symptoms abate but the dose always stays the same, taper down the frequency but don't stop all at once; this can be taken for a day or two after you feel all better to prevent relapse.
Note: Use only when you are sick, not as a preventative.
Can be used with viral infections such as the flu as well.

For viral infections, including the common cold, flu, herpes, stress, aches and pains, esp. nerve pain, seasonal depression:
St. John's Wort (made from fresh flowering tops)
Dose 2-3 (or more) droppers full several times a day as needed.
Useful as a preventative if you think you've been exposed to a virus; this herb can be used with Echinacea and Elecampane during the flu for example.

For lung infections/congestion/breathing difficulties caused by infections:
Elecampane Root
Dose, approximately 25 drops as needed only, not for prevention, stop when you feel relief.

For nervousness, heartache (both literal and figurative), cramps:
Motherwort
Dose, roughly 10-to-25 drops, several times a day as needed.

Where to purchase???
www.redmoonherbs.com
www.blessedherbs.com
www.frontiercoop.com

If you have any questions, please ask me!

STRATEGIES FOR GETTING THE MOST OUT OF A COLLEGE EDUCATION

2011-08-16T07:00:00.001-07:00

OR, WHAT THEY DON'T ALWAYS TELL YOU DURING FRESHMAN ORIENTATION BUT WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW!

1. Relationships Matter Most: The greatest resource in any college or university is the people. You need to develop relationships, not just with your peers but with your professors. Mentors will not always find you, you need to find them. Nothing is more important for your success, not just in the classroom but later in life. After the first class, go up to your professor and introduce yourself! Any time you can spend with your professors is very valuable; they're your greatest resource. You may need to go out your way though to make this happen; they're not going to seek you out--find people you connect with and spend as much time with them as you can. Counselors and staff people matter tremendously, too, so always treat them well and learn everything you can from them. You need to ask questions to get answers, so don't be shy. If someone helps you out, show your appreciation with a note or a card. A little kindness goes a long way. People will remember you.

2. Consciously Build Your Circle of Friends: Friends are very important in college. You'll learn from them and model their behavior, whether you know it or not. Choose them wisely. It's not a bad idea to spend time with people who are very different than you are; you'll learn more from such friends. Also, spending time with people who are smarter or more talented is a great thing. If you're the smartest person in your circle of friends, you need to widen it. Your academic environment can become challenging and competitive in a a good way if you're often striving to better yourself to keep up with those around you.

3. Don't get Too Obsessed with Your GPA: Never have I seen a more meaningless number that students fixate on as if it were some kind of holy grail. Truth is, after college, it matters very little. No one, especially you, will ever care what your GPA was. If you play it safe to pad or protect your GPA, you're doing yourself a great disservice. You'd be better off challenging yourself and even failing from time to time rather than always taking the easy way out. Sometimes you learn way more from the losses than the victories. You are not merely a consumer who got the best bang for his or her buck by getting a higher GPA than the next person!

4. Go Easy on the Inebriation: Look, almost everyone is going to party to some extent in college, but if you find yourself spending half your time getting wasted and the other half recovering, you're going to be on the fast track to alcoholism rather than a great life. Partying is just not that important. Don't make it such a priority. Trust me on this one. You're spending a lot of time and money on these years, don't you want to remember them?

5. Study Abroad/Internships: Any opportunity you get to study abroad or do internships is time well spent. In fact, any "learning" that takes you out of the classroom is probably a good thing. Service-learning, where you get credit for volunteering or working somewhere is another great option. Again, success is all about relationships and life experience, not just the academic content you study.

6. Don't Declare a Major Right Away: Unless you've known since you were three what you want to do for the rest of your life, it's great to experiment and take different courses you have an interest in. Resist the mental safety-net of declaring a major early on. Most people do not know what they are going to do when they first start college, so don't sweat it--enjoy the freedom. Follow your bliss as they say. Take courses and professors to which you are drawn, even if they're not immediately thought of as "practical" or fitting into your grand plan for the rest of your life.

7. Explore the Local Surroundings: If you're in a new environment, get to know the locals. Don't spend all your time sequestered in the safe environment of your college. There's a whole world out there, or at least a small town, to explore.

8. Always Challenge Yourself/Don't be Afraid to Fail: Again, this means don't get too obsessed with your GPA. Challenge yourself again and again. Take chances. Don't be afraid to fail. Like no other time in your life, these are the years to stretch yourself beyond the limits of what you thought you could do. If you knew the outcome before you started, what would be the fun in that?

9. Be Responsible and Professional: Develop good study/work habits. If you're supposed to be somewhere, show up on-time and be ready to work. Don't make excuses for your shortcomings--professionals get things done without a lot of words. Lead by your example, let your actions do the talking. Turn off your cell phones in class and don't text--be present wherever you're at and not (mentally) a million miles away.

The bottom line is that you must take responsibility for the quality and relevance of your college experience. You have within your means the ability to a great degree to shape your college years. Don't let them just happen, but play a conscious part in cultivating relationships and experiences that develop your character and push you out of your comfort zones so you get the most benefit from all your hard work. If you take my advice to heart, you will look back on those years as wonderful, meaningful, and life changing, as well they should be.

IMPORTANT BOOKS TO SEND OFF WITH YOUR FAVORITE COLLEGE FRESHMAN

2011-08-12T18:29:00.000-07:00

I suppose it would be great to believe that college freshman today are truly embarking on a journey toward wisdom and all the richness and benefits of higher education, but so often this just isn't the case. What they mainly get out of all those years of school are lots of hangovers, some (hopefully) not life threatening STD's, and massive debt in the form of student loans. So much of the educational process is really just indoctrination, political correctness and learning how to spit back whatever the particular professor wants to hear. The individual institution and the particular paradigm at hand are all that truly matter: A life changing experience, something truly challenging and forever memorable, not necessarily the case!

Instead of giving a new college frosh a laptop, I'd rather give them the wisdom in the following books. If they understand even parts of what is contained in the following works by the time they graduate, they will be very well served indeed for the rest of their lives.

Nassim N. Taleb
The Black Swan
and
Fooled by Randomness
Not the easiest ideas to grasp, but Taleb is a superb writer. Reading his work is a humbling experience. The man is truly an amazing philosopher but his advice is also so practical and necessary. They're not likely to teach this stuff in college so study it on your own!

Susun S. Weed
Healing Wise
The ultimate book on healing! So much clarity it is difficult to fathom how Weed was able to condense all that wisdom into a few hundred pages. If I had to recommend one book on herbal medicine, and life, this would be it. Susun Weed is an American treasure! The more life you live, the more relevant her words become.

Nora Gedgaudas
Primal Body, Primal Mind
The one book that makes clear how wrong our modern diet has gone and how to remedy the problem. This book could be titled "Everything You've Been Taught About Nutrition is Probably Wrong." Gedgaudas is completely direct and honest, no frills here, just great information! Her work combines the best of traditional wisdom with modern science. Simply an outstanding primer on health and nutrition for someone just starting out in life. Ancient wisdom and cutting-edge science! WARNING: This book may be hazardous to a vegetarian lifestyle and all politically correct diets!

F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Great Gatsby
OK, I'm an English professor. I had to throw in some literature. Still the greatest American novel ever written. The passing decades have not dimmed in any way its beauty or relevance.

Leo Tolstoy
The Death of Ivan Ilyich
Every important life lesson is found in Tolstoy's work. If you understand this book, you get what's really important in life and in death.

SIMPLE RADICAL VIBRANT HEALTH

2011-07-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

Simple Yet Radical Steps to Increase Vitality and Longevity!

AVOID FLUORIDE
Avoid all fluoride in toothpastes, dental treatments and especially in your drinking water! It is a toxic chemical, so why do you want it in your body or in your drinking water?

AVOID CHLORINATED WATER
Another toxic chemical put into our water! Especially important is to get a shower filter to remove chlorine from the water vapor created from a steamy shower.

USE A HOME FILTRATION SYSTEM AND AVOID PLASTIC WATER BOTTLES
Get a good home system for your tap and use glass or stainless steel drinking containers, avoid plastic containers of bottled water--the plastic contains chemicals that can easily leech into the water.

SLEEP IN THE DARK
Remove all light and electric appliances from the place where you sleep. Sleeping in darkness promotes melatonin production--melatonin is very important for good health and a strong immune system. If you are not refreshed when you wake, lack of melatonin could be the reason.

AVOID USING SUNSCREEN
The safest and most efficient way to get Vitamin D is through sun exposure. If you use sunscreen, you block the absorption of this vital and cancer preventing nutrient! So get some sun and get your Vitamin D! Stop putting toxic crap on your skin. If you're worried about wrinkles, eat plenty of anti-oxidants, like blueberries (and so many other berries) which coincidentally grow in abundance during the summer (sunshine) months! The body's best protection against too much sun is a tan!

EAT MORE FAT
Get more saturated fat from wild or grass fed animal sources into your diet--especially good are raw diary products like milk and butter! Saturated fat is the perfect fuel for your heart and brain to function optimally. At best, cholesterol is only a marker for an underlying disease process, not something human beings should be worried about lowering or restricting in their diets.

EAT LOCAL PRODUCE IN SEASON
Skip the exotic fruit flown in from all corners of the globe and see what the local roadside stand has to offer in season. Support your local farmers.

EAT MORE WILD FOODS INCLUDING GAME, FISH AND WEEDS!
This blog is all about edible weeds!

AVOID PSYCHIATRISTS THAT PRESCRIBE DRUGS
Avoid all psychiatric medication like the plague. Only go to talk therapists and those who employ non-drug related therapy. Otherwise you are experimenting with your precious brain. The healthy fat in your diet will help you more than any such medication--it is especially important for children to get enough fat in their diets; one of the major causes, I believe, for the exponential increase in mental health issues for kids is the lack of healthy fat in their diets.

NEVER, EVER GET AN HIV TEST
Just stay away from these tests, they are notoriously inaccurate and cause anxiety and loss of control over your own health. The drugs you may be prescribed to kill the virus will most likely kill you instead. Do you know there's never been scientific proof to link the HIV virus and AIDS?

PROMOTE VACCINE CHOICE
In our modern world there are no good reasons for most vaccines--give your kids the greatest gift you can, leave their nervous and immune systems intact! Look, if some people want vaccines, then let them get them, but do not make them mandatory.

STAY AWAY FROM CELL PHONES AND DO NOT SET UP WIRELESS INTERNET IN YOUR HOME
Use a headset with a wire or speakerphone when you talk on the phone, keep the phone away from your body at all times. If they want to put a cell tower in your neighborhood, start a protest movement, and for God's sake keep them away from schools and children.

DO NOT PARK YOUR CAR UNDERNEATH WHERE YOU SLEEP
So many people have garages under their homes or apartments, bad idea!

LIMIT YOUR SO-CALLED PRE-CANCER SCREENINGS
We have a tremendous over-emphasis on cancer screenings in our society. This is not prevention. You can not rely on these screenings to save you if you dismiss all your other responsibility. In many cases, like mammography, they are dangerous and expose your body to cancer-causing radiation. In men, prostate cancer is way too aggressively treated. In most cases it is so slow growing, you'd likely die from something else before the cancer ever killed you.

DON’T WORRY A LICK ABOUT YOUR GENETICS
No gene (wanted or unwanted) can ever be expressed without the proper environment. These screenings and worries are a waste of time. Focus on what you can change--diet, lifestyle, thoughts-- choices.

FOLLOW BEAUTY WHEREVER IT LEADS YOU
No matter how silly or strange, follow what you consider to be beautiful, precious and special and whatever brings a smile to your face and go wherever this pursuit leads you. Don’t think too much, just follow your bliss! Spend more time around children and animals, they know right away what's important.

BREAK ANY OF THE ABOVE RULES IF YOUR INTUITION TELLS YOU SO!

Spring Treasures!

2011-05-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

Time for Herbal Vinegars! Some of my favorites below:

Violet (Viola odorata)

For amazing vinegar -- use the leaves and flowers.

Garlic Mustard (Alliaria petiolata)

The roots are what you're seeking for vinegar.

Dandelion (Taraxcum Officinale)

I like using the flowers for vinegar -- you can use the roots, too.

(More)Dandelion (Taraxcum Officinale)

Mugwort/Cronewort (Artemisia vulgaris)

I use the leaves and stems cut up for vinegar.

Some of my keys to using weeds are that they should grow very close to where you live--literally step right outside your door, and the plants you need will be under your feet! All these plants are in my backyard. They just showed up. If you ask them to come or show gratitude to the plants when they do arrive, you will have many more of that plant in the years that follow. I had only a few violet plants in my back yard a few years ago. I started paying attention to them and acknowledging their presence with gratitude and respect, and all of a sudden, I have a whole backyard area full of violet! If you doubt the consciousness of the plants, try this simple exercise, sit with a plant you're fond of and show your appreciation and affection for it--observe closely in the months and years that follow to see how the plant responds! Seem like magic? Maybe it is!

They should grow in abundance and look very healthy. There is no scarcity here. You want to use plants which grow in such abundance that you can never use them up and cutting them back or harvesting them only leads to greater sustainability. You're probably onto something when these plants are called invasive species like Garlic Mustard, or they are the kind of plants home lawn jockeys particularly resent, like dandelions! The idea for me is that if the plant is growing everywhere around you, it is saying, "eat me, friend, I'm here to help you, and you probably really need me!"

The remedies should be very simple and easy and not take very long to make. In this case, herbal vinegars take only a short amount of time to make a good supply. Do this a few times a year and you're all set!

To make vinegar, all you need is apple cider vinegar(pasteurized)and jars, preferably wide mouthed. If you're using metal lids, put some plastic between the lid and and the vinegar. Fill the jar to the very top with the fresh plant material, add vinegar, and cap it. Check every few days at first to see if you've got enough vinegar, and add a little more if needed. Wait six weeks and enjoy! Pretty simple and wonderful stuff.

Leslie Schwartz: Holocaust Memorial Speech

2011-04-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

(photo credit: Christian Endt/Süddeutsche Zeitung)

Leslie Schwartz is now in Germany speaking at several Holocaust memorial services, pictured above at Poing with fellow survivors of the "death train" Max Mannheimer and Stephen Nasser (27 April), later at Mühldorf (28 April), and ending at Dachau (29 April to 1 May). Over 30,000 are expected to be gathered at Dachau for the memorial, and the speech I wrote for him is as follows:

"Sixty-six years ago, during the spring and summer of 1945, World War II was ending. The worst conflict in human history was soon to be finished, and few people on the on planet were left untouched by this tragedy. I was only beginning to comprehend the significance of the events I had witnessed and experienced.

In 1945, I was fifteen years old, and except for my nickname, Lazarus, I no longer had a name. I was only a number—a political prisoner—71253. My citizenship in my native Hungary had been taken away, too. I had no papers, no passport. I owned nothing.

As if in a tortuous nightmare, my mother, sisters, and step-father vanished right in front of my eyes one year earlier at Auschwitz.

At least three times I was supposed to die. In fact, by the end of the war, I was barely recognizable as a living person—weighing less than 80 pounds—with an open wound in my face. My jaw had been crushed when on April 27, 1945 I was shot through the neck by a member of the Hitler Youth during the “Massacre at Poing.”

Max Mannheimer, my great friend and fellow survivor, has called my story “the biography of a child that survived Auschwitz and Dachau.” For nearly one year, I had indeed survived concentration camps and death trains. I survived beatings, starvation, and torture. I survived places where most children simply didn’t survive: Auschwitz, Dachau, Rothschwaige, Allach, Mühldorf, Poing, and finally my liberation at Tutzing.

Yet, Max Mannheimer also described me at this time, 66 years ago, as someone “on the edge of humanity” and “insensitive, cold, incapable of anything.” The loneliness, fear, brutality, and constant hunger had indeed threatened to change me into something less than human.

Being here today on this solemn occasion again takes me back to the places of my worst humiliation and loneliness, but at the same time to a lovely and wondrous place in my mind. You see there were three individuals who recognized and sought to heal the wounded child within me.

Amid the most unspeakable acts of cruelty and horror ever committed by the human race, these three Germans looked into my eyes with compassion and love, and their small, yet powerful acts of defiance helped decide my fate—because of their actions, I knew, somehow, I would survive.

Agnes Riesch was a poor farmer's wife with no education. The men in her family were sent to the eastern front, and she became my guardian angel. One day as she was walking through Dachau—back from the bakery—dragging her bike—I stepped out in front of her and asked if she could spare a small piece of bread. She looked at me with horror. I was emaciated, bones protruding from all over my body. I had not seen my own reflection since leaving my hometown in Hungary. I must have looked awful.

Full of disbelief, she said, "Little boy, why are you here?'"

I pointed to my red number.

"Oh, you cannot be a political prisoner!”she said.

She then handed me a large piece of bread, bigger than any slice of bread I had ever seen in a concentration camp. There was a rationing system for everything, and she gave me half her ration of bread, a food coupon, and money so that I could shop at the bakery.

The fact that someone gave me anything was amazing. That someone looked at me with sad and caring eyes simply shook me to the core. It was a simple miracle that forever changed me.

Later at Rothschwaige, near Dachau, I worked at the Karlsfeld train station. There the station gatekeeper, Martin Fuss, noticed me. He saw me sitting alone one day, and approached me. During my time there, he offered me kindness in many forms, including liverwurst sandwiches. We had many conversations about the brutality of the Kapo Christof Knoll. When I was reunited with Fuss in 1972, he broke down and cried when he saw me. He had not forgotten me either!

Before my encounter with the Hitler Youth on April 27 1945, during the “false liberation,” when my fellow prisoners simply walked away from the death train as rumors spread that the war had ended, a woman took me and my fellow survivors into her home. When she saw me outside her farmhouse, she cried and put her hands on my face like a mother. She sat me down at her kitchen table—in a chair—and gave me bread with butter and the most delicious glass of foamy milk I have ever enjoyed. I never learned her name. But she never left my mind. For sixty-five years I thought of her every day. I learned only last year she was Barbara Huber.

Many will always point to the atrocities and evil that took place here, but I will always remember these heroic acts of kindness.

Agnes Riesch first brought me bread in secret and then openly, in the face of the SS Guards!

They told her, “If you keep this up, we’ll put you in here.”

She said to the guards, "I don’t care."

They never touched her.

In the last few years I have followed the lead of Max Mannheimer, and I have begun telling my story to young people in Germany and around the world. My book is now being translated into English after previous versions in Danish and German. I have had documentary films made about my life. Everywhere I go people are eager to hear my story. I cannot express how unimaginable all this would have been to me sixty-six years ago. Yet my very presence here is a testament to my will to survive and to the people who helped me along the way.

I wish now to remember my fellow Hungarian Jews, especially my lifelong friend, Sandor Grosz, an older boy from my home town of Baktalórántháza. Sandor protected me in the camps, and without his friendship, I would not be here today. I also think often of the strength instilled in me as a young child by my stern father, Imre Schwartz. Though crippled by Polio at the age of 16, my father was still the strongest and most amazing man I have ever known. He made me tough, almost as if training me for what was to come.

Perhaps my greatest strength though came from hoping one day to be reunited with my mother, Malvin Kohn, and my sister, Judith. I lost them in the lines at Auschwitz during our arrival, but the dream of seeing them again has never left me.

My greatest fear was always that we would all simply disappear and that no one would ever know what happened to us. Clearly as I stand here today, I know we have not been forgotten. Soon it will be up to the younger generations to keep our memory alive: Do not let us down.

In the past two years, I have experienced so much genuine affection and support from the people of modern Germany that it seems to me that their search for truth and wisdom is also my search for wholeness. My wish now is for the world to know the healing and peace I have found. The missing parts of my soul have been gathered together.

Thank You."

Leslie returns to Dachau for the presentation of the memorial Book for the Dead of the Dachau concentration camp (Photo by Siri Maria, April 2011).

Leslie at Dachau with a letter from Agnes Riesch! (April 2011)

Leslie and Otto Hartl, freelance journalist, at Dachau (April 2011). I think Otto might be the German version of me! He travels with Leslie and chronicles his experiences. If I can't be there with Leslie in Germany, I know Otto Hartl is doing a great job! Thank you, Otto! I hope to meet you someday.

Leslie Schwartz and Max Mannheimer at Dachau (April 2011).

After the War

2011-04-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

After The War from Adam Worth on Vimeo.

Matt Craw was a student of mine at Brookdale Community College in Lincroft, New Jersey; he is now continuing his education at Rider University. We collaborated on his book The Song Each Bullet Sings: The Story of Operation Iraqi Freedom Through the Eyes of One Marine for several years. I'm incredibly proud of how hard he worked to get his voice clear and strong. His book is an amazing account of day to day life in the Marines and in combat. I also believe Matt's writing has been an integral part in his healing process.

When my father, Michael J. Bonagura, came back from WW II, he wanted to write as well, but he was never able to get more than a couple pages done. After taking a summer creative writing course with me, Matt signed up to do an independent study project that would become his book. The date stamped on the contract was August 23, my father's birthday. I felt even then Matt's project was going to be something really important.

In the years since his death, I often wondered how my father's life would have been different had he been able to integrate and explore his combat experiences through artistic endeavors. Right after the war, he was an actor, even working on Broadway with Paul Muni in Inherit the Wind, but my dad wasn't able to stick with it. I believe his PTSD played a role in all his decisions, and he was never too fond of risk.

Since there is an inherent risk in anything artistic, and having a family to support, my father's acting career wasn't very long lived. He eventually left acting for a teaching career, but I always felt there were times when he regretted that decision.

Interestingly, in 1976 when my father retired from public education, the first thing he did was head out to Southern California to rekindle his old acting contacts, which, by then, decades later, were no longer around. At the time that seemed like a strange thing to do, but it showed me how much he still wanted to act.

In Matt's case, I was very blessed to have the opportunity to work with him. He's an amazing human being, and he's going to write many more books!

Matt and I at a recent event "The Combat Veteran as Artist" at Brookdale Community College, February 22, 2011. Matt was on a panel with Charles H. Johnson (2011 New Jersey Poets Prize Winner and Vietnam Veteran) exploring and addressing the many ways writing can help heal combat veterans.

Matt reading from his book featured recently in The Asbury Park Press.

Leslie Schwartz Interview with Harold Hudson Channer

2011-04-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Conversations with Channer

Leslie Schwartz Videos

2011-04-10T07:19:00.000-07:00

Recorded at the Hungarian Club in New York City on March 18,2011.

I AM A WEED

2011-04-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

I am a weed. I show up just about anywhere, but I'm not often welcome.

You poison me, nuke me, pull me, cut me. Mostly, you just consider me, somehow, inferior, or just wrong. I'm just too common. No exquisite breeding here. My grandparents were orphans. Even my voice is common, not exclusive and worthy like yours.

You are welcome at all the finest tables; I'm always an interloper. Your talents are refined and shaped by the best minds and rightly given their proper and due respect by your peers, the only people who know anything at all about what's really worth appreciating anyway! Problem is you all seem to think alike. What I say doesn't matter because, as you remind me again and again, there are voices that matter and those that do not. Most of the time you just ignore me.

But here's the thing. I'm not going away. I'll keep coming back, again and again. I have resiliency and flexibility. Give me so much as a crack in the sidewalk, and I'll sprout up. While you need the constant boost of accolades and credits and degrees, I don't. I know who I am. Do you?

I'm strong, and tough, too. Try and pull me out out of that spot on the sidewalk with the broken cement, and my roots, though barely visible, will stick firmly in the ground. You'll sweat a lot trying to get rid of me. I just chill, knowing even if you do pull me out, I'll grow right back.

I am the earth. I am the energy of the universe drawn down into that little green shoot. I can burst on the scene with the smallest trickle of water. I float chaotically on the wind and reside where I please. I thrive in droughts while flowers wilt.

You know, you might learn from me. I can help you see the parts of yourself you'd rather not see. I can show you that even the darkest, dirtiest corners, neglected in the backrooms of the mansions of your soul are still worthwhile, still useful somehow -- there might even be treasures there in the shadows. This is not the soul you show to the world though, the one your ego basks in like a reptile on a rock in the sun. This is your shadow soul. The dark matter. The one that I remind you of -- you know, the reason you want me kept down or eradicated -- the reason you want anyone who does not think just as you think to disappear. That dark soul is beautiful too and might just contain something you need, might just save you from the prison of your mind and your prestige. It's hard having always to be the best and associate with the best and think only what the best think. That's a heavy burden because deep down you know you're a fraud. It's OK because we all are.

That's the beauty of life. Our imperfections make us perfect, our flaws are our greatest strengths. The broken parts heal the strongest. I can heal you if you really see me. Look into my center, and I'll reflect back only wholeness and love: the love that is all around us and completely free, available to anyone and everyone, even you. And you don't have to do anything to earn this love. It doesn't matter whether you're worthy or not because none of us are and all of us are. That was your only error in judgment -- you thought you needed to earn love.

I actually love the dirt in you. I love the low and common parts of you, the poverty of spirit you seek to ignore. That's what unites us. I love the mean parts of you that hide behind your feigned arrogance, really insecurity, fearing what might happen if anyone saw these hidden, shameful fragments you say don't shame you, as you simultaneously live your entire life running from them, hiding in the safety of your high opinion of yourself.

I've seen your nakedness, and I was never repulsed by the wounds you protect. That's what attracted me to you in the first place. Together we can heal each other if only you'll let me.

First Signs of Spring!

2011-03-28T05:52:00.000-07:00

Stinging Nettle,
my backyard,
March 2011

The great, deep green harbinger of spring for me is Stinging Nettle. This plant is a signal that, yes indeed, we have made it through another winter, and now the spring delights are not far away. Especially wonderful is Stinging Nettle soup. As soon as the plant grows between, say, one to two feet, usually by late April around these parts, I will harvest and make soup. Don't worry, Nettle grows back very fast!

I was given a few little Stinging Nettle plants by the mother of one of my Brookdale College students a few years ago, and they have grown and grown. She heard I was talking about Nettle and Susun Weed in my research writing class and just gave me the plants on a whim. I have never even met her personally, but I have to say her gift is one of the best presents I have ever received in my entire life! Another student once gave me Nettle seeds, but they never grew a lick.

One time a rogue landscaper cut down all my Nettle, I mean right down to the ground! Nothing left but dirt and a few wisps of cut green leaves scattered about the hedges under which the Nettle lived. I cried when I arrived home, but my tears were unnecessary. The Stinging Nettle grew back in a few weeks! Now, it is stronger than ever and always spreading out, from roots under the ground, more and more each year.

You are lucky if you have a large amount growing nearby; then you can harvest and dry for Nettle infusions. I have just enough for soup a few times a year, and the nourishing properties of that soup are rather amazing. Of course, I also simply enjoy having the plant growing near my house. It is nice just to go out and sit with the Nettle and let it sting me once in a while! I'm not a masochist; the stings help keep allergies away! The process teaches my immune system not to react too strongly to common irritants.

My body is so used to it by now that any redness or irritation from the Nettle stings go away in a short amount of time. If you are going to try this, start with a small area of your body first, an area where some itching and discomfort won't be a huge problem as you get used to it, and gradually sting yourself by brushing lightly against the Nettle leaves; then note your body's response. Just keep it away from your face, wash your hands with mild soap afterwards, and don't touch your eyes! I learned that by experience!

As far as I understand it, regular stings teach your body not to release too much histamine thereby lessening your allergic response to whatever is igniting your immune system. Try it sometime! I couldn't cut our grass on a dry day years ago without my throat darn near closing up by the end of the bi-weekly ordeal; now I seldom if ever have a problem with grass, dust, pollen, etc. If I am concerned, I'll let the Nettle sting me before cutting the grass, and no worries.

The Partisans of Vilna

2011-03-06T05:16:00.000-08:00

"In Honor of Dr. Halina Kustin Jagendorf &
The Partisans of Vilna"

"On its altar they gave the prime of their lives."
-Abba Kovner

Leslie Schwartz' dear friend Dr. Halina Jagendorf fought the Nazi's when she was a mere teenager. She and her mother and brother were part of the famous partisans of Vilna, fighting in the forests of Rudnitska. Dr. Jagendorf's mother Dinah Mishcon Kustin was a cook for the partisans. Halina served as a field nurse. She fought with the great Abba Kovner. (Pictured to the left)

On July 13, 1944 the partisans then united with the Soviet Army liberated Vilna. The Nazi's never could overcome the partisans; their resistance was critical to the allied efforts, and I don't believe they were ever given the credit they truly deserve. They were featured in a documentary film Partisans of Vilna. For a preview of the film click here.

"It seems to me a stone/
Seeing us, would burst into tears."
(from "It Was a Summer Day" Partisans of Vilna Songbook)

Leslie knew Halina since his earliest days in the United States. At the time, 1947, Leslie was seventeen years of age. He attended Jefferson High school in the Brownsville section of Brooklyn; Halina and her brother Abe also attended the school for immigrants who did not speak English. Leslie told me there were about twenty holocaust survivors in that high school; he recalled they all were able to communicate by speaking Yiddish (which he learned in the concentration camps). Leslie said he was very happy to go to high school, "I enjoyed what I missed as a 14 year-old -- that period I lost -- I was reunited with kids."

At the time the two year age difference between Halina and Leslie, "like day and night" in Leslie's own words, sealed his fate; all he would ever be to her was "a kid." For a European woman, a younger man was not so attractive! Halina was a brilliant and beautiful older woman. What did Leslie have to offer her in those days? Leslie had no shot in her eyes.

They lost touch for many decades. Occasionally, Leslie would hear from her brother, Abe, who had left the US and moved to Israel. Abe used to chastise Leslie for staying in the US, always telling him his place was in Israel, but Leslie felt very connected to the US, and America truly became Leslie's home (though I would also consider Leslie a citizen of the world!). As the years passed by there were many changes in both lives. Halina had married a prominent New York physician, and she herself earned a Doctorate in Psychotherapy and began a long, successful practice in New York City.

Leslie was only reunited with Halina a few years ago after receiving a wedding invitation to Abe's son's wedding in Israel. Abe told Leslie, "my sister would be happy to see you." Despite her immense professional success, Halina had gone through more than her share of hardship in this country; in fact, one could argue that her battles against the Nazi's were nothing in comparison to the trials and tribulations she would endure later in life. This kind of chaotic life is certainly not unusual for a combat veteran, holocaust survivor -- anyone with PTSD (though it wasn't diagnosed in those days) would have to struggle mightily to keep one's life from completely unraveling, almost at regular intervals, as those waves of trapped energy (experiences from the war years locked within one's human form) regularly spiral outward, like squall bands from a hurricane, affecting everyone within close range of the survivor. This phenomenon is mostly invisible and undocumented but very real. I saw this in my father's life and in so many others. The war never truly ends for someone like Halina, its echoes always reverberating in strange and grotesque ways, a constant internal battle, like a war against the peace and prosperity of her new life in America -- how could the chaos not return? Yet she always faced everything stoically and with honor, but by this point (2006-2007) in her life, the visit from Leslie, a face from the past, would bring her immeasurable comfort and joy.

Leslie is no longer an insignificant kid, but a loving presence from better days! Leslie tells me of their genuine affection for each other, their bonds forged in the horrors of war, and she has told Leslie "there are certain things I would not discuss with anyone but you." Halina suffered terribly during the war. They lived in the forest for years while fighting the Nazi's, and she did everything she could to keep her family together, but her sacrifices were great. No teenager should have to go through what she did -- all just to survive. Interestingly, she often tells Leslie how she "would [still] love to be 18 again."

Leslie tells me his relationship with Halina is one of the most important in his life, almost as if he feels responsible for keeping her spirit alive. They talk frequently, and when he is in New York, he visits her quite often. Now, her health is failing, and she is mostly confined to a wheelchair; she lives with her husband (who suffers from Alzheimer's Disease) and daughter Lorri, a brilliant mind in her own right, and Leslie really feels a part of their family. He said, "the whole thing really affects a guy like me." Leslie vowed to Halina in the dedication to his forthcoming book, "you will never walk the last road alone."

Death Is Not To Be Preferred
by Abba Kovner

When leading a band of harried fighters
or standing face-to-face with the enemy,
holding out in the siege
and standing alone
on the ramparts,
he never said death is to be preferred,
that life is negotiable;
anxious
frightened
by severe privations
he never asked anything
of Almighty God
but to grant him favor
and ease his pain
when he leads the congregation
in communal prayer;
and forgive our sins
in love
and joy
and gladness
and peace
O God,
Mighty
And Awesome.

Note: Halina's story, "My Mother Halina Kustin Jagendorf, Partisan," by Lorri A. Jagendorf is featured on page 382 in Anthology on Armed Jewish Resistance 1939-1945 Volume II by Isaac Kowalski.

Into The Mystic

2011-03-03T03:53:00.000-08:00

"We are indeed on a shaman's journey, mere children struggling to become technicians of the sacred. We are learning how to deal with the plasticity that is part and parcel of a universe in which mind and reality are a continuum, and in this journey one lesson stands out above all others. As long as the formlessness and breathtaking freedom of the beyond remain frightening to us, we will continue to dream a hologram for ourselves that is comfortably solid and well defined."
-Michael Talbot
The Holographic Universe
(page 302)

The Text from a Parallel Universe

I'm dreaming my friend Matt is texting me, something he learned at a poetry reading; he has to tell me something important. I see him texting me as I am receiving the text and reading it simultaneously. I see each letter and word as they appear on his screen and mine. I know the content of the message before he finishes writing it.

"Wherever You Are Is Everywhere"

It is as if our lives have already happened; they play out on a screen as we watch and comment among ourselves (the players in the movie on the screen) as the events unfold. Before the action even takes place we (the watchers) know what will happen.Yet we (the actors) still go through with the story unfolding on the screen. We (the watchers) are at least once removed from the players in the unfolding drama. When watching we observe ourselves out of time and space; we only experience time and consequences of our actions on the little screen, not as we watch ourselves. We observe from some place of non-consequence nor judgment.

"Wherever You Are Is Everywhere"
"Whomever You Are With Is Everyone"
"Wherever You Are Is Everywhere"

"How Can I be Late When I am Everywhere?"

Why do we need to do what we do if everything has already happened? Why do we need to act everything out on this stage if we are (at least) once removed from it all, watching it unfold while knowing already what has happened as it happens, as we act it all out in this life/time/space and watch and comment on it with other players (always the same people by the way) in the drama, also once removed from the actual unfolding of events?

"If you were to see me walking down the street, would you know what I have gone through?"

2011-02-20T02:48:00.000-08:00

Excerpts from a Recent Talk Given to 13-Year-Olds

"We were doomed from the day we were born."
--Leslie Schwartz

Quite naturally, all teenagers struggle to some degree with their identity. The basic questions of who am I? What is my life to be about? What is really important to me, and how do I go about finding and then expressing the true nature of my intellect, talents, and spirituality in the healthiest and most productive manner? How does my particular faith and my understanding of its traditions and responsibilities relate to my choices and decisions that while made presently will also affect the rest of my life? At the age of 13, Leslie Schwartz faced incredible challenges to his sense of self, purpose in life, and, of course, the expression of his Jewish faith. To say that his 13th year marked a coming-of-age or move into manhood would be an understatement. In fact, it was the beginning of his journey through hell and back. The working English title for his book The Hell of Auschwitz and Dachau: Young Boy Fights for His Survival is rather revealing, yet he was fighting for more than just his survival, and his message is especially relevant for teenagers today seeking to understand the challenges of their transition into adulthood.

At 13, Leslie was first uprooted from his village, Baktaloranthaza, in Hungary, and he and his family (consisting of his mother, sister, step-sister, and step-father) were sent to the Hungarian/Ukrainian boarder, for all practical purposes to be eliminated by the Nazi's and Hungarian Nazi sympathizers (of which there was no shortage). The premise for the destruction: as Jews, they were not Hungarian citizens anymore. Although Leslie's great grandparents were born in Hungary, the questioning of their citizenship was the first lie spread to dehumanize and isolate the Jews of his village.

He and his family were shipped to the mountains on the boarder of Hungary and Lithuania, a beautiful region as he recalls, to be killed right then and there, but the advancing Russian troops necessitated that he and his family be sent back to their village again. Upon returning, his village wasn't the same. Life had been transformed by the war and conditions were terrible – the Nazi's had taken everything. Leslie remembers the Jewish storekeepers opening up their stores, "it was a free for all" with everyone running around and taking whatever they wanted. As much as a rebellious (and mischievous by his own account) teenager might find this chaos appealing on some level, Leslie "had a peculiar feeling". He knew everything was all wrong. The Nazi propaganda was starting to take hold on his psyche. He describes his mind as "poisoned." He began to accept his "inferiority".

He was forced to attend a Catholic school, and it was there he fell in love with a young Catholic girl named Judith; she was also the daughter of his teacher. She told Leslie, "my parents don't want me to look at you". Her parents were both school teachers, the intellectual elite of the village, and whether they had bought into the Nazi lies or were just trying to survive themselves, there would be no sympathy for Schwartz and his kind. Yet, not everything in Leslie's story is about the Holocaust. The love and confusion of a young boy knew no boundaries, and he thought of Judith for many years afterward, finally to see her again in 1995. The reunion as Schwartz called it "the ending of a great love in sadness" as old age and infirmity had taken their toll on her. Her family suffered their own tragedies later at the hands of the Communists – Judith's brother was imprisoned for fifteen years before escaping to live in France, another betrayal at the hands of one's own countrymen. Leslie tells me although the concentration camps were kept secret and "no one knew what was to come at Auschwitz and Dachau", the abandonment of these Hungarian Jews, who had been such a vital part of the fabric of life in Hungary, is still particularly difficult to fathom.

April 1944: the beginning of the journey to Auschwitz - the Schwartz family and so many others sent away in oxcarts. The bells of the Greek Orthodox Church rang, and Leslie's descent into hell truly began. The poster taped to the front of his synagogue in his village: "NOW WE ARE RID OF THE JEWS". The brutality always emphasized at the beginning of such mass movements. He remembers a gentle Rabbi from his hometown being beaten so terribly. Later in life that Rabbi's grandson, Willie Silber, a friend of Leslie's, would make it to the USA and pursue a career in opera. Leslie recalled the children of his hometown giving Willie pennies to sing!

The first leg of the trip, on to the Hungarian Ghetto in Kisvarda where Schwartz, just before being sent to Auschwitz, remembers vividly two young SS Guards in the Ghetto. Just teenagers themselves, Leslie remembers how beautifully dressed they were in their uniforms with their German Sheppard dogs, not unlike the dog named Friend Leslie loved and left behind in his village. What was so different about these teenagers than Schwartz himself? Did they not breathe the same air? As mysterious as adolescence can be, how much more so for Leslie Schwartz? The uniforms, the lies, the terror, the brutality, and the sheer power of the military-industrial machine of the Nazi empire were not enough in the end to defeat him. He survived to tell his story; they did not.

One's perceptions of strength and weakness, superiority and inferiority, are not always accurate – don't trust impressions of what the material world around you considers valuable – not at 13, nor at any age! Better to place your trust in the rising human spirit, always universal, always yearning for freedom and the expression of beauty and truth, even in the most seemingly hopeless conditions.

Leslie Schwartz and Talking Weeds

2011-02-07T06:12:00.000-08:00

"I am a very strong believer that you never throw away people; you might put them on the side, but you never throw them away."
-Leslie Schwartz
New York City
2011

To reaffirm the theme of this blog and why Leslie Schwartz's story fits so well with it, one only need to look back to the title "Talking Weeds". In our modern world weeds are thought to have a less than desirable connotation and thereby something to be ignored or eradicated. From a healing point of view, I, of course, do not see it that way. The majority of the healing plants I know and use are considered weeds, especially Stinging Nettle. Weeds can be used for food, healing, and even appreciated for their unique beauty, strength and resiliency. We have an entire industry based on killing weeds, yet the weeds live on. How quickly and thoroughly this earth energy returns when we turn our backs on the open field for a few minutes! Sun, wind, and some rain, even just a little, and the weeds always return. Stop the cascade of pesticides for even a short time and the weeds return to the once pristine lawn! It certainly is a lucrative business killing them, eh? Like the Military/Industrial complex, enemies and wars on which to sustain one's livelihood are never in short supply.

This concept of weeds also applies to people's attitudes about one another. Throughout history there have always been groups of people the "dominant" group declares unfit or undesirable or worse. World War II and the Holocaust are recent and blazing examples for all eternity of the end result of such thinking, elevated to a grand stage and given all the intention and energy possible by very creative and industrious peoples! That it took the collective efforts of the free world and 60 million lost lives to quell temporarily that energy only underscores how easy it is for large numbers of people to get on board that death train with their thoughts and deeds. We take our shadow side, and, instead of embracing it, project it onto other people and groups to demonize it and them, so we can eradicate it, always "once and for all" even though the peace lasts only until the next war. Regarding disease and healing modalities, as well as politics and even religion, the same approach often takes shape.

Think of all the "wars on. . ." something phrases put out there. War on cancer, drugs, terror, poverty, and so on. Fighting a war requires a duality and this shadow side projection of (and giving energy to) that which we wish to eradicate in ourselves, projected, of course, on the enemy of choice. The idea of embracing that shadow side and making our "enemy" our ally, as Susun Weed says in her book Healing Wise is a complete change from the either/or, right/wrong, dualistic mentality still so prevalent in our thinking.

This blog is a shift from that energy of dualism to one of wholeness/holiness. That's how Leslie's story fits. As we strive to embrace all parts of our human experience, not throwing any of them away, but seeing what gifts even the darkest realms of our psyche may yield, we transform our lives as we stop giving energy to the struggle we can't ever win anyway. In this process we have the opportunity to return to wholeness and to reclaim our tremendous power as individuals and collectively to manifest a wonderful, miraculous life, one in which we can begin embracing the gifts of Creation while sharing our experience with others in order to help them along their unique paths in life.

There is no other way to explain Leslie's story. Why would someone return (whether literally or in his mind), again and again, to the place of so much pain if not on a quest for wholeness? Think of the way in which Leslie embraced the small yet bold acts of kindness he experienced by just a few German people in the middle of one of the greatest nightmares in human history. This affirmation of humanity has been what has fueled his renaissance and so many good things have happened to him since. The smallest acts of kindness and compassion may ultimately hold the most power!

Leslie Schwartz Redux

2011-02-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

I wandered over the land, and good people did not neglect me. After many years I became old and white; I heard a great deal, many lies and falsehoods, but the longer I lived the more I understood that there were really no lies. Whatever doesn't really happen is dreamed at night. It happens to one if it doesn't happen to another, tomorrow if not today, or a century hence if not next year. What difference can it make? Often I heard tales of which I said, "Now this is a thing that cannot happen." But before a year had elapsed I heard that it actually had come to pass somewhere. Going from place to place, eating at strange tables, it often happens that I spin yarns, improbable things that could never have happened about devils, magicians, windmills, and the like. The children run after me, calling, "Grandfather, tell us a story." Sometimes they ask for particular stories, and I try to please them. A fat young boy once said to me, "Grandfather, it's the same story you told us before." The little rogue, he was right. . . . No doubt the world is entirely an imaginary world, but it is only once re- moved from the true world. . . . When the time comes I will go joyfully. Whatever may be there, it will be real, without complication, without ridicule, without deception. God be praised: there even Gimpel cannot be deceived. .
-Isaac Bashevis Singer
"Gimpel the Fool"

SINCE my original post on Leslie Schwartz appeared in early November 2010, I have been in frequent contact with him. I recently had an opportunity to sit down with him in New York City to continue the conversation. Imagine, we sat and discussed the tragic events of sixty-five years past in complete comfort, dining at one of New York's finest restaurants, TBAR, run by a dear friend of Leslie's named Tony Fortuna. All we had to do is ask, and anything we wanted would have appeared, as if magically, on that table! The restaurant was completely packed; smiling faces, people enjoying good food and conversation, and there I was taping his Holocaust stories of places like Dachau and Poing. Had Leslie been shown a vision of the future 65 years ago would he have believed it? Here he was 81 years old and at peace with all he's been through, surrounded by loved ones and admirers, eating fine food!

After interviewing him for more than four hours, again, I feel I've only scratched the surface. As one seeks to know Leslie and to understand the meaning of his extraordinary life, his words and deeds seem to exist out of time and space; past, present, and future are all one. His gentle and quiet demeanor do not mask the clarity and intensity of his vision and his message.

I understand now that his words are teachings, important lessons for humans in this school called life. And people are hungry for this wisdom. There is no other way to explain his popularity; all ages are drawn to him where ever he goes. And Schwartz relates his experiences without self-aggrandizement or the force of his ego. Martin Luther King often spoke of "soul force". The power of truth brought with compassion and love to overcome hate and bring about justice, peace, enlightenment, indeed even transformation of the human race. Leslie is of a similar vibration.

I consider Leslie a veteran of the war though he never carried a weapon, and the only uniform he ever wore was a German one! In the early days after the war, he had no other clothes! His sometimes controversial story is about his fight for survival and human connection, a search for wholeness that would, like a latent seed, take 65 years to germinate, only breaking the ground toward heaven in the last year or so. In fact, Leslie has always been on this quest for wholeness. He jokingly referred to his constant desire to revisit these people and places a form of his own masochism, as if he enjoys the torture! He simply has a soul that would not rest until all the scattered fragments have been gathered together again. His stories just keep unfolding.

The Early Days After The War: The Search for Frau Riesch

After briefly returning to Hungary, he headed back to Germany. He was on a mission of sorts to reunite with Agnes Riesch. He recalls, "the first night we slept at the German museum, ice, ice-cold winter. The following day we went to the displaced persons camp. I was there for a while, and the most important thing was for me to go to find this lady, Agnes Riesch. When I came to her house, I rang the bell and she recognized me. I would spend weekends in her house."

He was particularly drawn to Frau Riesch's daughter-in-law, Fannie: "I was 16 years old and the only man around! I felt like a bashful kid. Here is a mature lady; this was the lady who used to come and visit the SS guy; the soldier who was in charge of 12 to 20 prisoners, always one in charge and two who would watch us. To think she was Frau Riesch's daughter-in-law! I had very pleasant weekends with her. They would cook, and I would bring food. She was to me like a mother. She referred to me as 'my son'. The name Lazarus came from there. She called me Lazarus."

Frau Riesch had indeed left an indelible impression on young Leslie. In our recent interview he stated: "She saw me when I was in [the] concentration camp [at Dachau]. I had access to be alone, and she would pass through there with her bicycle, and I approached her; you know, do you have a piece of bread? And when she looked at me, my gosh, [she thought] what does a young kid like you do here? I was a political prisoner, and she couldn't figure this out - why was I a prisoner?

After their random meeting, she often brought him bread. First in secret and then openly, in the face of the SS Guards. They told her if she kept it up, she'd be put in the camp, but in Schwartz' words, she said to the guards, "I don't care. I am old." They never touched her.

Leslie says, "the blessing for me was meeting this Frau Reisch, when I was in [the] concentration camp, and she brought me, every week, a piece of bread to eat, which they themselves did not have. Emotionally, spiritually, it gave me immediately a feeling that here is a German lady who knew I was a Jew, yet she was so kind and helped me. I could not forget the people who were kind to me."

65 years later: The Search for Barbara Huber in 2010

Frau Riesch wasn't the only German woman whom Leslie couldn't forget. In the last days of April 1945, Schwartz had been in Muhldorf with over five thousand prisoners, mostly Hungarian Jews who had earlier gone through Auschwitz. On April 25, 3,600 of them were loaded on a train to Tutzing, nick-named the death train. The train stopped in Poing, and there was an announcement that the war had ended. It would not end officially until May 8, 1945. The prisoners scattered, leaving the train for the town. Leslie and a few others found a kind woman in a farmhouse in Poing who gave them food: "When I went to her farmhouse, she gave me a glass of milk, bread and butter." He recalls a crucifix hanging in her farmhouse and a comfortable feeling while in her home. She patted him on the head and cried, "you poor little boy, almost like a mother". Schwartz wasn't put off by her crucifix either; even growing up in an Orthodox environment, he had spent many happy days in his native Hungary in the company of his Christian friends. He thought to himself, "thank God, I am protected". Then an SS guard came to the door. When realizing the war not ended, the SS Guards came back and sought to round-up the prisoners and herd them back onto the death train to Tutzing.

The other boys with Leslie were able to hide, but Leslie thought he could outrun the guard. He couldn't and the guard shot him in the head in the middle of a field in Bavaria. Schwartz was then told, "get up or I have to give you another bullet". He was shot through the neck and jaw. Leslie was marched back to the death train. The SS Guards threw the dead and wounded back onto the cattle cars. The events of this day became known as the Poing massacre. Hundreds were killed and left to die on the train, including a friend of Leslie's named Roth who was shot by the SS; Roth still stands out in Schwartz' mind. Roth was so religious, even in the camps he remained Kosher.

The train continued onto Tutzing. Leslie never had any medical treatment. He could barely swallow and wondered if he would choke to death on his own saliva. Of course, Leslie somehow survived until the liberation by American G.I's at Tutzing. The pain he endured on that train ride is almost unimaginable to him even today. He must have stayed conscious because he remembers the American bombers strafing the train cars on the passage to Tutzing. He thought, the SS couldn't kill me, but the Americans might!

As if all this wasn't enough, he contracted Typhus in the days immediately following the German surrender and was sent to a hospital for only Typhus patients. Again, he lived to tell about it, but was urged by an old friend of his father's who found him wandering the streets to seek treatment for his head wound that by that time had healed disfiguring his face. Reluctantly, Leslie went to a hospital where he was operated on by a former high ranking German surgeon who was also a master of plastic surgery. The recovery was the worst pain Schwartz had ever felt as all the bones had to be reshaped. Leslie was put in a hospital ward with all German soldiers who were also amputees -- he was the only Jew there. He was still just 16 years of age!

Leslie, however, was still driven to find the mystery woman who gave him the bread and milk. He recalled, "After the war, I went back to that village, and I could not find her. And this was an obsession with me; constantly, it bothered the hell out of me; why, why, why couldn't I find her? This past year when I went back, I made it a point. He continued, "when I went back, I attended a birthday party, and I told one of the young men, George, 'do me a favor, I would like you to Google 'Poing' -- P-o-i-n-g -- where I was shot, and this is how my whole story started."

Additionally, Leslie found his old friend Max Mannheimer through this search. Leslie hadn't seen Max in 65 years! Max was too weak to get off the train at Poing, so he avoided the SS guards' bullets. Being reunited with Mannheimer has been another great blessing for Schwartz. Leslie added: "I met this Max Mannheimer, who is 90 years old -- and he has received every conceivable award in Germany for what he's doing; for the past 25 years, he has visited schools 85,000 times, and this meeting with him, after 65 years, and knowing what he does; immediately, it gave me some ideas. You know, I think, I should do this, too. And I spoke to him about it and that's how I was able to visit seventeen high schools; it was extremely rewarding for me, knowing that these kids are eager to listen to me and share my pain that I carried all these years." Schwartz and Mannheimer were together in the camps and liberated together. Mannheimer is originally from Czechoslovakia. When the war ended, Leslie recalled Max telling him, "never will I step foot on German soil, but he met a German lady, fell in love, and has been there ever since!"

A freelance journalist named Otto Hartl accompanied Leslie throughout the trip. It was his article in the local papers that attracted the attention of Barbara Huber's daughter, Marianne Maier, who later found Leslie in a hotel and brought pictures of the farm where he drank that fateful glass of milk all those years ago. The fragments now brought together and made whole.

Barbara Huber

To be continued. . .

A Gift From a Student

2011-01-26T12:45:00.000-08:00

A Gift from a Student
I want to share something from a recent letter from one of my Arts High students, Shannon Schmidt. This one really struck at the core of ideas and realities I've been sniffing around for a long time now! This excerpt is reprinted with permission of the writer.

She speaks of a recurring dream:
"This dream has presented itself to me throughout the years through a great array of imagined scenarios, all of which center on the same idea but vary in details. The idea is that I am alone, in a literal sense. In some of the dreams my sudden solitude is brought on upon my entering an empty room in a building that was just stuffed with people. In others, I have awoken in this barren, alternate-universe of sorts. I am a firm believer in the fact that dreams are higher in value than we often consider them, but this particular nightmare has caused more late-night worry for me than actual deep thought. Am I afraid that the world as I know it is so fragile and temporary that it will one day dissipate around me, or am I afraid that I have already ostracized myself from the people around me?"

This is one of those nightmares with a flip-side to it. The fact that the dream has been recurring over many years and she keeps recognizing it in many different forms further highlights its value. As Robert Moss would probably offer, let's look at the nightmare not as enemy but as messenger -- see the demon as an angel if you will.

How much of reality is captured within this dream?

"Am I afraid that the world as I know it is so fragile and temporary that it will one day dissipate around me . . .?” Isn't this dissipation our great fear as well as our great hope? The eventual, inevitable unfolding of greater truths? This fear and possibility is at the very edge of the doors of perception, spoken about by William Blake and later Aldous Huxley.

I too have experienced this fear. The dissipation of everything I am -- death with a small "d" throughout my life (money, material possessions, relationships), and, of course, the thought of death with a capital "D", the end of my life; when I cease to exist, what will I be? The falling away of all the thoughts and desires I cling to, that which makes me who I am or at the very least gives me my sense of self -- its definition and boarders -- is this death? Will the process be harder if I cling to the illusions? What if I practice death in life as the Tibetan Buddhists advocate? Are my perceptions of finite reality even accurate or just more tricks of my ego? Maybe I can embrace this fear instead of relegating it to the darkest realms of my psyche so it only occasionally bubbles out in nightmares, albeit recurring ones!

Is there an unfolding universe or greater truth behind the precise yet limited ego-driven focus of my current perception?

I might look to William Blake for some answers. To quote Blake:

"THE MARRIAGE OF
a body distinct from his soul is to be
expunged; this I shall do by printing
in the infernal method by corrosives,
which in Hell are salutary and medici-
nal, melting apparent surfaces away,
and displaying the infinite which was
hid.

This suffering (hell with a small "h") we all endure is a result of the "corrosives"; yet let's not look past their "salutary and medicinal" properties. Sometimes what we perceive as good or bad isn't necessarily that way. These torments are really the stripping away of our ego as the forces of life, like waves, often dissolve even the hardest rocks of certainty into grains of sand, blown with the wind and waves. The suffering and great struggle of one's life -- in this case the mental torment of a recurring nightmare -- may also bring truth and great hope if we can listen to it. The melting away might not be so bad if we didn't struggle with the process, even find peace in the illusory nature of what we call reality. Perhaps this dream brings wisdom one might search for one's entire life? Can this message be embraced?

Quoting Blake once more:

"If the doors of perception were
cleansed everything would appear to
man as it is, infinite.

For man has closed himself up, till
he sees all things through narrow
chinks of his cavern."

Only through the closing off is the fear manifest. Only through the illusion of separation and the holding back to protect the ego do the real struggles emerge; the struggles first to know, without a doubt, who I am and then the fight with all of my strength to keep that image going strong without change; it only gets harder as we get older -- to keep this fake-self together -- this requires a lot of mental gymnastics because deep down we know the ego is all an illusion anyway. Think of the suffering related to this struggle! Is there another way?

As Sri Sri Ravi Shankar writes: "Feeling and experiencing infinity within this finite body, living timelessness within the time span of life, uncovering bliss within misery -- this is what you are here for."
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Celebrating Silence

Why I Love Mondays

2011-01-19T06:21:00.001-08:00

Age is mostly just a number, not a terribly good gauge to tell much, if anything, about a person; certain realities do, however, make themselves known with passing years. When I scan my cell phone contacts to find several people who are no longer living, I do get a slightly different view of mortality than I did when I was much younger. I think Buddhists call it practicing death, more of a meditation or focus on the transient nature of everything about our existence on earth.

Recently I’ve become much more aware of the many blessings in my life, and I have a great deal more gratitude, especially for the little things, aspects of everyday life I formerly took for granted or hardly noticed. Just simple things like having heat or hot water in the winter time, a nutritious meal, a quiet place to sleep at night, the love of a pet, and the many great people in my life from co-workers to friends to family.

My job is perhaps my greatest blessing. In these days of widespread unemployment and under-employment, I say can I honestly look forward to work. My profession continues to be one of the most gratifying aspects of my life. I went through many difficult years of struggle, searching for the right position, and, oddly, I never made money a priority, but rather that the work was meaningful and important and somehow making people’s lives better, my own included.

I knew I loved teaching writing, and I really only wanted to teach at Brookdale Community College. I actually turned down a few tenure-track positions at other colleges with the hope that I’d eventually get something at Brookdale, and I worked as an adjunct instructor for many years. I say that only to add that any rational assessment of the situation would have demanded a career change or accepting one of the other positions, something to allow for enough income to put food on the table and some sort of life for lack of a better word to emerge. But much of my life has been a series of non-linear and not always well-thought decisions.

Not too many people would have been able to hang in there as long as I did, for almost ten years back in the nineties I lived with a non-living wage, zero benefits and no promise of a future employment beyond the current semester, knowing only in some vague, intuitive way that I felt I belonged at Brookdale, so I kept coming back. At one point, I decided to let go of all attachment and expectation, to allow for nothing other than being completely present in each class I taught, while performing a mantra of sorts in which I kept telling myself just to be thankful for what I had, realizing that if I were paid a million dollars a day or a hundred, my job satisfaction and the nature of my teaching really wouldn’t have changed one bit. I decided to pretend I was being paid a million dollars a day.

In a very short time everything changed, and formally closed doors began magically opening. There was one former college Vice President named Johanna Kobrun who seriously went out of her way to help me, and I’ll be forever grateful to her for her kindness and vision. Somehow I got that elusive tenure track position in the fall of 2002. When I think of where I am now -- an Associate Professor of English at Brookdale Community College -- I can only say how incredibly fortunate and blessed I am.

An educational institution is first and foremost about people and the environment they create by their collective thoughts and actions in the course of the days, weeks, years, decades, and even lifetimes they spend shaping the character of the institution with their work.

Tuesday January 18, 2011 was our Spring Semester Faculty Day -- a day for meetings and programs, and a day when most of the department eventually gathers together in the afternoon. As I looked around at the faces of my colleagues, I was again struck by how lucky I am to be working with these people. Being late for the meeting, as I always am, I paused for one second outside the door and thought to myself, how cool is this? I get to walk into this room and sit down with all these amazing people. And somehow I belong here.

I have a great deal of academic freedom and much help along the way from everyone I work with, including my colleagues, our Dean, our administrative personnel, and even our amazing tech support person. How many teachers at any level have such a friendly and generally supportive work environment where, within reason, most anything and everything we want and need, we have?

Perhaps I'm exaggerating a little, especially in the wake of the economic crash of 2008. We have indeed had important classes cut and experienced many other harsh aspects of the economic reality of the world today. But in the grand scheme of things, we all have it pretty good, no doubt due in large part to the individual and collective efforts of my colleagues as they are continually seek to implement better ways to do things. They don’t rest on their laurels. The people I see on a daily basis are incredibly talented and innovative, and they're in education for all the right reasons. I feel humbled that I get to work with them.

I appreciate these people and know they won't (and I won't) be here forever. What I wanted to say at the meeting (amid the effects of the doom and gloom of the financial climate of the state of New Jersey) was to tell them to take a moment to reflect on all the good things they have done for students, that they too have been blessed in that they get to do something meaningful and important, to change lives for the better and to provide so many opportunities to individuals from all ages and walks of life.

I know I'm often told years later by students I run into of the impact (often without realizing it) I've had on them, so think of that result multiplied exponentially over decades for thousands and thousands of students, and you get the point of the net impact on the universe of the Brookdale faculty. Maybe that's why the place is so special; it's like John Lennon's theory of “instant karma”, not in the future or next life, but now. We've all created and shaped this space, consciously and unconsciously with our thoughts, intentions, and deeds over the years. I sound a bit corny I know, but I really treasure these colleagues. Their presence in my life is like a precious gift.

At the meeting our Dean Carl Calendar made a reference to the fact that he's well aware he won't be here forever. I'm a bit biased when it comes to Carl as he's one of the main reasons I wanted to teach at Brookdale in the first place. I used to listen to Carl and former Brookdale Professor Kevin Hayter lecture back in the 90’s; we had open classrooms, only partitions, no immediate ceiling, so you could hear everything your neighbor was doing. Listening to those two discuss literature was quite an experience.

Both Carl and Kevin were legendary in the excitement they created and the following they had among their students; not only did I want to be like them, I wanted to be in their class! I mention Carl now because he had stroke back in the summer and has been away from his position as Dean until recently.

It is hard to express in words, but I can tell you the energy and personal power he brings to the job everyday were sorely missed while he was away. In a very real way Carl has spent his life fighting for the best interests of the students and for his colleagues' freedom to teach as we see fit. There are an awful lot of strange edicts that come from the minds of administrators from time to time, and it is really impossible to imagine what Brookdale would be like if Carl had never worked here.

One's academic freedom and integrity cannot survive unless certain people speak truth to power and do it frequently; problem is that job is never popular or sought out – the position much like being Muhammad Ali’s sparring partner! Who wants to get beat up for a living so others can shine? But Carl has always been that kind of fighter.

Thankfully, his recovery is going very well, but when you think of how we all almost lost him forever – well, all I can say is there was a palpable and dramatic sense of void during his absence – think of the scenes from "It's a Wonderful Life" where Clarence shows George Bailey what life in Bedford Falls would be like if he had never been born – Pottersville, baby!

The truth is I have many colleagues of a similar stature regarding their wisdom, experience, and innovation; they often inspire me and sometimes challenge me, but I'm a better educator and a better person for having known them. I could write pages and pages about each one of them, but I could probably sum up the collective impact of their work by saying they've done a lot always to put people first and the welfare of others above their own. That spirit has a tendency to spread, and most of the time the students really appreciate it.

Besides the pedagogy and academic goals, our careers are really all about helping students to see themselves in new ways, to dream bigger dreams, to move into and get comfortable in a world where previously veiled possibilities make themselves known and available. There is no cookie-cutter mentality here. We’re all encouraged and supported to bring our own unique passions and methods to the process. Not a bad way to spend your life, really. How did I ever get so lucky?

Echoes of Congresswoman Gifford's Shooting

2011-01-09T11:03:00.000-08:00

The tragic shooting at Congresswoman Gifford's meet and greet at a Tucson, Arizona Safeway market brings many issues to the hearts and minds of Americans. While much of America was obsessed with the NFL playoffs on Saturday, the tragic news had been breaking all day long. Gradually, more and more details became known.

Six people were killed, including a nine year old girl named Christina Taylor Green. Christina was born on 09-11-01, the miracle of her life included in the book Faces of Hope, featuring 50 babies born on 9-11. Apparently, she was a very patriotic and socially conscious girl and also quite an athlete -- she was the second baseman on a baseball team with all boys. Her grandfather is Dallas Green who managed the Philadelphia Phillies to a world championship in 1980.

The irony or coincidence of a child of hope being murdered in this way only underscores the fact that we as Americans in 2011 are missing the big picture of life in the post 9-11 era. Placing blame appears to be the first order of business among many directly and indirectly involved in this event -- finding a way to benefit politically from this horrific act is also first and foremost on the minds of many. We can start directing blame on the Tea Party, the availability of guns, Sarah Palin's cross-hairs pointed at the members of Congress, talk radio, hate speech, etc. This trend of assigning blame is troubling and very sad. But I realize we humans want answers fast. We want reasons. We crave simplicity in cause and effect. We need an evil to fight against. Yet this is the very lesson of 9-11 we've missed. After almost a decade of war, death and destruction, we still don't get it.

For a brief moment it seemed after 9-11 there was a sense of community and compassion rarely experienced on such a grand scale. I was in NYC quite often during the fall of 2001. I could feel the love -- everywhere it seemed there were random acts of kindness from one fellow human being to another. We didn't need a reason to help someone only that we were all in this mess together. Somehow that spirit quickly morphed into one of war, violence, and revenge for what was done to us -- I remember sitting in a famous vegetarian restaurant and couldn't believe what I was hearing only weeks after 9-11; these former peace-nicks, old-hippies and young vegans were calling, right there at the community table, for the blood of the terrorists. Our leaders at the time took us more firmly in that direction, and here we are a decade later with no more peace in the world, hundreds of thousands of lives ruined by war, and no less suffering, only more political discord and more finger pointing at the "other".

And now this beautiful child Christina Taylor Green has been sacrificed at the alter of hate. Of course,there have been tens of thousands of children all over the world killed in the wars that have followed 9-11, but Christina's death is right in front of us , so she is harder to ignore. It is an unspeakable tragedy - there are no words to understand it, no way to make sense of it, and no easily assignable blame, as if that would solve anything anyway. We must find a way to honor this girl's memory in a good way. We must attempt to be human once more -- we're slipping away from that ideal, and I fear we won't survive all that is to come in the next few years and decades (and believe me THAT'S A LOT) if we don't stick together and take care of each other.

This notion of the "other" is most damaging and dangerous, and it cuts across all political persuasions, economic backgrounds and levels of education -- the only constant is we are more frequently prone to see the person thinking differently than us as someone outside of our trusted circle, our opponent, or even our enemy. In a twisted, violent, and paranoid mind, this scenario often plays out with dire consequences. Considering all the violence inherent in every aspect of our culture, from the actions of our Government in wars to the content of most television shows and video games, it is a wonder such shootings don't occur even more frequently. Everywhere we look gruesome images are raining down on us in the name of politics or even entertainment.

The person who disagrees with you politically is not "other". They are just like you, probably driven by the same motivations and considerations you are -- maybe they mean well and maybe they don't, but we must stop this polarization. We must try to find something, anything, about this "other" person to which we can relate, share, or otherwise stand on common ground with. As I hear stories of those who knew the "shooter", they all same the same thing, what most "friends" of shooters in these types of killings always say -- he was a loner, outcast, crazy, had no friends, etc. Did you ever put your arm around this person? Did you ever hug him? Invite him to dinner? Reach out to him in among his "otherness" or "weirdness"? It all just makes no sense to me. We must strive for understanding if not acceptance, and treat others with civility and respect, no matter if they differ from us politically or any other way. Unless we come with a spirit of compassion, we are no better than the intolerance or injustice we (whoever "we" are -- Tea Party or Left-Winger) would strive to stop.

I must ask are we not even allowed to mourn the victims before assigning blame? Can we not pray for the survivors and the souls of the dead? Must we first continue to feed the fires of partisan politics emphasized by the people who are looking for someone to blame?

A New World in 2011

2010-12-25T07:50:00.000-08:00

The words to describe our condition as humans on this planet are largely inadequate to promote any real understanding of how to change or evolve our lives toward something better. Perhaps that's the main reason we've come along so slowly. Do you ever wonder why we haven't made more progress toward solving (healing) our problems, whether personally or on the planetary level?

I have often felt the struggle and frustration of seeking to change my life while seemingly putting in the maximum effort for the smallest possible result. At other (rare) times, it seemed to me the smallest intention or desire effortlessly became reality. Was it serendipity? Divine intervention? Luck? Perhaps, but maybe there's another level to this perception and problem solving.

Call it the quantum, spirit, or energetic realms (or dimensions) versus the physical, Ego, material, or real world as we know it, the place where most of us reside most of the time. Whether we claim some special shamanic abilities or diploma from a mystery initiation, we still spend most of our time bound by the constraints of the ideas and opinions of those around us. Whether that be institutions or governments or simply the perceptions and agreed upon reality of even those closest to us -- or, of course (more likely), our own minds.

Nassim Taleb writes in the introduction his new book, The Bed of Procrustes:

"We humans, facing limits of knowledge, and things we do not observe, the unseen and the unknown, resolve the tension by squeezing life and and the world into crisp commoditized ideas, reductive categories, specific vocabularies, and prepackaged narratives, which on occasion has explosive consequences. Further, we seem unaware of this backward fitting, much like tailors who take great pride in delivering the perfectly fitting suit -- but to do so by surgically altering the limbs of their customers" XII

Taleb identifies the heart of the matter. When we move in the dimension of our Ego's and the hard reality of the material world, we are bound mostly to reap suffering and frustration -- that means relying on what we already know to be concrete and absolute -- using the same mind to solve the problem that created the problem. When we play in the energetic dimension, even the smallest or simplest intention can become manifest on a grand scale with relative ease -- but we're trusting in something unseen, not unlike the faith so many religions have required of their followers, or the landscape of a dream compared with the rude awakening of a morning alarm clock.

When I say trust in the power and consciousness of weeds to heal, one might certainly assume I'm not operating in the realm of the known or established world! That the process is so simple even underscores for some people that it cannot work.

In the spirit of Taleb's book of aphorisms, I've come up with one: In the energetic dimension, the simplest intentions offer the most profound results; in the realm of the ego, the most complicated and strenuous effort, usually produces only short term gain, mostly suffering, frustration and exhaustion.

"All Things Shall Pass Away"

2010-11-15T09:58:00.000-08:00

My sister pointed out to me where my dad got his famous phrase from, so I have provided the poem by Theodore Tilton (the link gives the source though it is very likely in the public domain by now).

ALL THINGS SHALL PASS AWAY.
BY THEODORE TILTON.

ONCE in Persia ruled a king
Who upon his signet ring
’Graved a motto true and wise,
Which, when held before his eyes,
Gave him counsel at a glance
Fit for any change or chance.
Solemn words, and these were they:
“Even this shall pass away.”

Trains of camel through the sand
Brought him gems from Samarkand;
Fleets of galleys through the seas
Brought him pearls to rival these.
Yet he counted little gain
Treasures of the mine or main.
“Wealth may come, but not to stay;
Even this shall pass away.”

’Mid the revels of his court,
In the zenith of his sport,
When the palms of all his guests,
Burned with clapping at his jests,
He, amid his figs and wine,
Cried: “Oh, precious friends of mine,
Pleasure comes, but not to stay —
Even this shall pass away.”

Lady, fairest ever seen,
Was the bride he crowned his queen.
Pillowed on his marriage bed
Softly to his soul he said:
“Though no bridegroom ever pressed
Fairer bosom to his breast,
Mortal flesh must come to clay —
Even this shall pass away.”

Fighting in a furious field,
Once a javelin pierced his shield,
Soldiers with a loud lament
Bore him bleeding to his tent.
Groaning, from his wounded side,
“Pain is hard to bear,” he cried.
“But, with patience, day by day,
Even this shall pass away.”

Towering in the public square,
Twenty cubits in the air,
Rose his status grand in stone;
And the king, disguised, unknown,
Gazing on his sculptured name,
Asked himself: “And what is fame?
Fame is but a slow decay —
Even this shall pass away.”

Struck with palsy, sere and old,
Standing at the gates of gold,
Spake him this, in dying breath:
“Life is done, and what is death?”
Then, in answer to the king,
Fell a sunbeam on the ring,
Answering, with its heavenly ray:
“Even death shall pass away.”

[Finis]

Leslie Schwartz

2010-11-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

Leslie Schwartz: Haftling Nummer 71253

I had the good fortune to attend an event sponsored by the Brookdale Center for World War II Studies and Conflict Resolution at Brookdale Community College in Lincroft, New Jersey: "Living Through Hell" an Evening with Leslie Schwartz on Tuesday November 9, 2010.

After having attended the program and met with Mr. Schwartz afterward, I can only say he is an extraordinary human being, not even so much for his sufferings and survival at the hands of the Nazis in Auschwitz and Dachau, but for his lifelong quest for healing and peace and his dedication to bear witness to the atrocities he experienced as a boy. This man is fearless.

Even as a teenager in the camps, he spoke of his strong will to survive: "The German press referred to me as feisty. . . I was determined that I must live, I must live that I can tell the horrible things that took place. I'd talk to myself." He later said, "I was with people in the concentration camps where they gave up; these people I had no feelings for--as a kid I always wanted to see people fighting." He calls this spirit "a Dachau thing in me." He grew up in Hungary and told me his father was very strict in the old European traditions; this tough upbringing helped make him strong. He also made it clear that Hungarian Jews in those days were very much assimilated, almost like German Jews.

The most significant aspect to his presentation is his search for healing. He has been a frequent traveler back to Germany in the years following the war, but his most recent trip was by far the most important. He traveled around Germany throughout 2010 speaking with high school students about his experiences. It seems the younger Germans are eager for history and are not afraid to face their ancestors' past. The feeling of honesty and truth seeking couldn't be more apparent from his anecdotes. He described some of his experiences in "the new Germany" as he calls it as "nothing but glorious, glorious, unbearable." He went on, "I couldn't walk down the street. . .the kids hugged me." It was as if a dream had supplanted the nightmares he's faced for 65+ years: "Is this possible? Is this Germany?"

At one particular school he received ten minutes of applause from high school students, and he says, "my legs were shaking." His dream for healing became reality when he spoke to younger people, yet this transcendent experience was not always the case with the older generation. He always had a knack of talking to people and wasn't ever afraid to confront anyone. He would often visit spas (hot springs), and if he saw an older German, he would inquire as to what he did during the war years. Schwartz says some would walk away, but others would talk to him, usually avoiding any personal responsibility by saying, "always what Hitler did, not what I did." But Schwartz is living proof that trauma of generations past can be healed if we are brave enough to revisit the source of the pain. If we hide from the darkness, we remain prisoners. There is no more optimistic news for those suffering from PTSD or other similarly related effects of war. The news that even the most formerly incurable psychic pain can indeed be healed should be broadcast on the front page of every newspaper in the world.

I have to say in all my years of interviewing WW II Veterans, I have never come across a man so at peace with himself and so immersed in an aura of grace than Leslie Schwartz. He is a hero to me in that he faced his fears, he went to places where he was tormented, he chose to revisit the people and ancestors of the people who had committed such unspeakable crimes against humanity, and has done so with compassion, not anger, not seeking revenge, but only truth and wholeness. He has gone on a quest to find the missing pieces of his soul, to gather them together in a way that benefits all who enter into his presence or read his story.

Although his feelings on God and religion are complicated, Schwartz is a holy man to me--a man who is able to look into the darkest realms of the human psyche with an unimaginable lightheartedness, wisdom, and even joy. He spoke of his move from Auschwitz to Dachau as if he were moving to a country club: "When you're tormented, you know the difference." His understanding of a higher power has been a long, difficult process, but one he's not willing to neglect: "As you see all the horrible things, you question. Why? Why did I have to go through what I went through? For some reason I'm starting to believe that there is something."

Central to his personal narrative is the understanding that the success of the Nazi operation was all based around fear. Something of which we should take note: Only in a climate of fear can lies become truth and oppression succeed. Only when people shrink away from the challenge of confronting evil can such horrors ever become reality. People living in fear are easily controlled. He told a story of his brief stay in Hungarian ghetto before being shipped off to Auschwitz. He said there were about 700 Jews and only 2 SS guards, and these guards were just kids, maybe 17 years of age, yet the fear they inspired among the masses of people (who could have killed them at any moment) was enough to hold power over the group. He recalled, the Nazis had a "genius way to put this fear into you."

From my point of view, his journey could be summed up as follows: To bear witness to the evil that took place so the human race will never forget. To revisit the people and places where it all took place with a spirit of compassion and truth-seeking in a quest only for wholeness and peace, and to share his happiness, wisdom and insight with the world.

If Leslie Schwartz can find peace, there is hope for all of us. May the name Leslie Schwartz be forever spoken as a blessing.

My Father's Death

2010-10-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

Of all the deaths I've experienced, my father's was the most significant. He died on March 31, 1993. Though it was more than seventeen years ago, that night is forever etched in my mind.

I was teaching a night class at Brookdale Community College in New Jersey. I had a strange feeling that day that I should cancel the class and stay home for a change. I didn't, of course, as I had no rational reason for canceling the class. I remember dad waving goodbye to me as I drove to work that afternoon. I can still see him standing at the end of our driveway, slowly waving to me. How could I have known that would be the last time I'd see my father conscious and standing on his own two feet? Upon arriving home that night, I found out my father had collapsed while watching TV. He was at the local hospital. From the looks on the faces of my neighbors keeping some sort of vigil, I knew this was bad.

When I got to the hospital, I knew right away he was finished. He wasn't conscious and in the ICU. My mom was there, and he was basically in a coma. He held on to life long enough for my brother to arrive from Nashville the next afternoon, and while we three were at his bedside, we eventually told the ICU staff to stop resuscitating him as his heart kept stopping. Through his body's struggle to let go, I felt as if he were somehow aware of us speaking to him by his bedside and trying to respond, but the doctors said his movements and facial expressions were involuntary.

There was a radio in his room. I remember the song that played as the life-sustaining machines were turned off and we sat there quietly by his body. The song was Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny, a dreamy 50's instrumental guitar classic.

I remember his skin in the florescent light above his bed. It was so white and smooth, almost free of any wrinkles. I thought to myself, this isn't right, he hasn't even outlived his skin in his 69 years on this earth. I remember my mother touching his feet and saying goodbye. And that was it. Michael John Bonagura, a man who was always completely larger than life was gone in less than 24 hours.

After the funeral, my brother told me he was surprised at how I was able to "keep it together". I seemed to be the rock of the family. He wasn't there the first night when I cried alone for hours and hours and let most of the immediate pain pass through me like heat dispersed by a summer thunderstorm. Additionally, I had been preparing myself for this day, practicing death as the Buddhists would say. Not long before this fateful day, I saw my father sleeping one afternoon. He looked peaceful yet so weak as if he were ready at any moment to let go of this life. His facial expression and the light rising and falling of his chest seemed to say to me that his struggles with various chronic illnesses had been enough for one lifetime. For some strange reason, in that moment, I was OK with that insight. I also recall years earlier coming home from college during a break back when I was an undergrad. As he met me at Newark Airport, I noticed how old he looked. You know how when you see someone every day, you don't notice the gradual changes? Well, I thought as if twenty years had been sucked right out of him in the few months since I last saw him. In that moment was my probably first awareness of his mortality. I almost couldn't take it. He looked so tired and drawn and pale in the dim light of the baggage claim. I quickly altered the thought and began a conversation to distract me from that realization.

In his later years, I had become his personal health advocate and confidant since I moved back home after graduate school, going with him to all the doctor's appointments and even checking him out of the hospital at his insistence only a day after having a heart attack. Over the last five years of his life, I had witnessed his service-connected disabilities and their chronic effects take their toll on his vitality and resilience: He had an irregular heartbeat, atrial fibrillation, as well as a kind of blood disease in which his bone marrow produced too many platelets, a dangerous combination. He also still suffered from post traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injury, terms that didn't exist back in the 1940's. As indicated, he was also a lousy patient, wanting little or nothing at all to do with doctors, hospitals, and most importantly drugs with serious side-effects, even though they might have extended his life many years. His whole mental outlook was pretty typical of and old marine, independent and unbreakable, at least as far as the outside world was concerned.

In his youth and even into middle age my dad was a rather imposing figure, 1940's Hollywood good looks coupled with the aura and intensity of an old breed combat Marine. He had always been a terrific athlete playing semi-professional football with the Newark Bears while still in high school! My brother and sister had moved away years ago, and they had known him mostly in his fierce prime. I, however, being born much later got close to a different person. The Guadalcanal Marine Raider and one-time Broadway actor were more like versions of himself from past lives, captured now only in photographs, newspapers, and stories. He had softened. His liked to stay home and cook for my mom who was still working after he had retired. I even saw a sometimes tortured and vulnerable man seeking to make peace with all he'd done in his life, especially World War II. Definitely not someone invulnerable or God-like.

I could see the war often coming back to his consciousness in his later years as his body began rapidly to decline. I'm pretty sure as a Raider he had very likely looked his enemy in the eye, and war to him had been very up-close and personal. I knew what it meant that dad came home from the Pacific and the aforementioned enemy whom dad looked in the eye did not. He knew intimately the hatred that men needed to survive. Letting go all the toxic emotions that ironically allowed him to survive (and would later destroy his health) would be the great struggle of the rest of his life, even though the majority of his life was spent far removed from the military, raising his family and (in addition to his brief acting career) coaching and teaching high school kids. He had captivated quite a following in his thirty plus years in education, and my father reveled in those good feelings and happiness shared with thousands and thousands of teenagers. His students kept in contact with him for decades afterward, and everywhere he went he couldn't help but run into at least one smiling face thanking him for being the best teacher he or she ever had! Dad had a pretty good life. He struggled with money, working summer jobs like most teachers, but with the help and wisdom of my mom, put three kids through college and paid off a mortgage. Despite the shadows of war, he lived a happy suburban existence of beaches and barbecues, baseball and beer on a hot summer day, church on Sunday and family dinners. His life lacked pretension and radiated integrity and purpose, and he laughed a lot. He died with no financial debt, something my generation can't imagine.

I've mostly dealt with his death by continuing our relationship. In fact I feel it's gotten much stronger in passing years. He once appeared to me in a dream a few days after he died. His smiling face was glowing, and he told me he was all right and, more importantly, I'd be alright. Certainly, one of the most powerful dreams in my life, one from which I've never looked back on without reassurance. I've come to see the veil between life and death as illusory at best, and several times a day, every day, I feel his presence, almost as if he were still communicating with me or somehow checking in, once again, to remind me to let go of my fears. Life is continuous, ever-flowing and everlasting, not as our egos, fears and illusions tell us, fragmented and finite.

The one lasting message my father left indelible in my heart is that sometimes very bad things happen, but the meaning of life is that the current generation doesn't pass on those bad things to those younger as so many have done throughout the ages. The cycle of suffering ends with you: Take the poison, "carry your cross", as he would often say, suffer, if you must, with dignity and courage, but return only love. Channel grace, as if directly from heaven, to everyone you meet. If you acquire power in this life, use it solely to help others for that's the only reason God elevates any one man over another, and always the wisdom of his favorite expression, "this too shall pass."

Vegetarian/Veganism Part II

2010-09-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

So, the real problem with vegetarianism is the removal of certain essential nutrients that have sustained human beings for thousands of years, and the subsequent attempt to fill this void, often with foods that can be very detrimental to health, like soy products for example. It probably gets much worse when we start going down the list to junk foods (often desired from cravings), high in calories and low in nutrition, as there is this urgency within the body to replace what is not being supplied in the first place. I think this has much to do with saturated fats from animal products being absent in the diet. I haven't even spoken about the raw food movement, but I feel safe to say that a large percentage of vegetarians/vegans are also very heavy into the notion that raw foods are healthier than cooked foods -- now when raw foods are added to a vegan diet, you pretty much have the end of the road coming up fast! You'll experience a more rapid aging process, degeneration of muscle and much faster bone loss with age -- you are basically giving your body almost no chance to absorb minerals if you don't cook foods, and you stress your digestive system to the max. Well, OK, so just add a mineral supplement, right? Well, let me ask you this, do you think that mineral supplements really have everything you need in the proper amounts and that you will absorb these minerals from a pill as opposed to, say, a Stinging Nettle plant connected to your local soil searching for minerals, in just the right amounts that you need because after all the plant has gotten to know you personally and you have a relationship with it? On one hand we have a vitamin factory, which looks like any other chemical plant, a brick building, artificial light, pavement cars, workers. . .or a living Stinging Nettle plant, digging into the earth, dynamic, conscious and connected to you and your needs, ready, willing, and able to be your green ally, and all for free!

In my own case, just the addition of soy products and a great deal of vitamin supplements was in all likelihood having very detrimental effects on my health. The soy was destroying my thyroid function and lowering my testosterone. During the vegan period, I also started craving carbs and actually gained a great deal of weight before I really started cutting everything out and then subsequently losing way too much weight - a roller coaster that serial dieters can probably identify with. One thing saturated fats do is provide a great deal of stability, especially in maintaining a healthy weight and blood sugar. Add in hundreds of vitamin supplements also in an attempt to compensate and that is really a formula for disaster.

I think we in the affluent west (because, let's face it, people in other parts of the world are far less likely to be worrying about what they eat, but rather that they eat, and we have the luxury of choices unthinkable for most of human history) have increasingly put ourselves into a box by taking real foods (like raw whole milk diary) out of our diets, for processed/fake foods (soy or vegan cheese - there is such a thing, right?). We think we're superior in some way, but we become farther removed from the natural world, and our bodies rebel against these strange changes, while our minds try to argue for them based on political selling points! If one studies Susun Weed's Wise Woman tradition, one of the most important aspects to it, as compared with the Heroic and Scientific traditions, is that Wise Woman thinking and actions always lead to expansion and growth, never restriction and limitation. I know first hand the Heroic tradition can only be limiting, due to the extreme hated for the body and also women, and the Scientific is so firm in who's in control, doctors/science -- not your body's wisdom -- and that as we age in the Scientific tradition the accepted premise is limitation or entropy. If you are unfamiliar with this work, you might want to read Healing Wise, the book in which Susun Weed explores these three philosophies in great detail.

More to come. . .

On Veganism/Vegetarianism

2010-09-13T16:40:00.000-07:00

Part I

My apologies for not blogging in a while. I do hope to write here more regularly.One topic that comes up again and again in my life and circle of friends is the topic of vegetarianism/veganism. I have so many friends and people in my life who follow variations of these dietary philosophies.

From my early 20's to late 30's, I, too, considered myself a vegetarian and even a vegan for long stretches of time. I was motivated to follow this lifestyle for various reasons, some personal and some more planetary. I think I always had a great suspicion that I wasn't worthy to walk on this earth. I'd like to say it was a spiritual humbleness, but it was more of a self-loathing attitude. A philosophy in which I could deny my body something was instantly appealing as if doing penance for being born. I also had and have a great love and connection to/for all animals, so why would I eat something for which I had such affection? There was a great disdain for diary products among many of the authors and lecturers I followed back in the late 70's and early 80's, and these people made a strong impression on me as well, so a diary free lifestyle had its appeal. I was also convinced I was saving the planet, so why not go all out?

Of course, the idea of a strongly politically motivated diet/lifestyle had its added pull over my subconscious. Somehow I was screwing the oppressors (all oppressors) by not eating any animal products. Since I was off the charts left-wing during most of those years, life couldn't get much better than a garden burger at an alternative-type vegetarian restaurant!

I'll say my health was never poor during those years. In fact I was a semi-professional triathlete from my mid-to-late twenties and kept on seriously running into my early thirties. I think my only health issues would have been low blood sugar - it seemed like I could eat ten times a day and it wouldn't be enough, and I was also constantly cold. I got to the point of hating the winter and even swimming in the ocean lost it's appeal. Gradually, as my 30's arrived, I got more seriously into the vegan lifestyle. I ate a lot of soy products, too! Interestingly, while my sex drive never went away my ability to perform and even enjoy sex waned dramatically during the soy experiment. My thyroid function also declined almost the the point of needing medication. So I would say I was physically fit but not terribly healthy - defining health as simply feeling connected to life and being able to enjoy life. As I continued to push the workouts, I noticed my strength was declining. I just assumed (maybe) that one's body starts the long descent into whatever by the time one's mid-thirties come around.

Another thing I should point out during this time period is that I took massive amounts of vitamins and supplements. This obession started in my college years, as much out of experimentation as anything else, and by the time I hit my mid-thirties, I was spending hundreds of dollars a month and swallowing many pills a day. Anywhere I went I carried these pills with me. If I been unable to get to a health food store to keep up my supply, I wouldn't have been a happy camper. If I had thoughts of moving somewhere, I'd seriously think to myself, "do they have health food stores there?"

Around 2001-2002, I started to study herbal medicine with Susun Weed as a live-out apprentice. A great many things were going on in my life at the time, and I was very confused about much of it. I actually stared limiting the things I would eat period. In the summer leading up to 9/11, I lost about 30 pounds and probably weighed about 150-160. I'm 6'4" by the way, and my normal weight most of my life was about 185.

So what happens when I go to Susun Weed's farm? Well, I'm introduced to the most amazing diary products I've ever had - goat cheese and goat's milk from her heard, and I'm getting educated properly for the first time in my life about the benefits of some animal products, especially diary in my diet. Coupling this knowledge with herbal infusions, specifically Stinging Nettle, and my entire outlook was about to change dramatically. I would almost defy anyone to drink Stinging Nettle infusions on a regular basis and not know instantly what his or her body really needs! Nettle brings a grounded, yet powerful intuition as well as a keen sense of smell and taste, and a knowing right away "this is something I want to eat. . . this is something I don't". I can't describe it better than to say that everything I thought I knew for sure about nutrition was up for grabs. My infinite body was telling my limited mind what the deal was - and I started listening.

Appendicitis: YIKES!

2010-07-24T00:30:00.001-07:00

A friend called me yesterday with the news that he has severe inflammation of his appendix. He has been diagnosed with a CAT Scan, and he asked me what I might recommend in the way of herbs/nutrition? Of course, this is a serious medical situation that often requires surgery (apparently 75,000+ a year in the US). I believe it is the number one cause of abdominal surgery in the world, so it may well turn out that he will need surgery and antibiotics and soon, but if I had this condition, I certainly might try some less invasive options if I had the luxury of time. Again, if we're talking about acute/emergency situations, I side with Western medicine and I'd get to an emergency room fast, so I'm not exactly sure how much time we have. If you're an herbalist though, you always get these phone calls at the eleventh hour!

Let's first go back to Susun Weed's "Seven Rivers of Healing" to try and get a better vision of the whole crisis:
1. Do Nothing
2. Gather Information
3. Engage Energy
4. Nourish and Tonify
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5. Stimulate and Sedate
6. Drugs
7. Surgery (Break and Enter)

The first four rivers never do any harm, the last three (separated by a huge gulf)always do harm in increasing severity by the time we get to the seventh river, so we seek to avoid the seventh river if we can -- maybe we can and maybe we can't.

Back to the "Seven Rivers":
1. Do nothing: In his case, this means stepping away from your "normal" life. The direct opposite of what the doctors and scientific tradition seek - they want to return him to "normal" as soon as possible. Not here. Step off the spinning earth for a while. Rest -- slow everything down. Like the ancient Greeks, go into a cave and lie quietly in the darkness and emptiness. Embrace the void as Susun writes so often in Healing Wise. I'm not sure he has done this.
2. Gather information: That's one reason he called me; he wanted to hear my point of view. Investigate all possibilities for healing -- take in many opinions, listen, seek, inquire. What are my options here?
3. Engage Energy: Let's examine the energetic aspects of the condition.He told me he has only a half hour for lunch (and he works long from morning till night), so he drives to a fast food place and wolfs it down like he learned to eat in the military! Not good. He's constantly eating food that cause inflammation too! We want to chew our food, make the solids liquid, relax, and no hot dog eating contests at Coney Island either! This is really important because he's been stressing his digestive system for years now, and we want to look at all the energetic implications of that. We want calmness and thankfulness over our meals. I have a feeling so many of us are under the clock at lunch. I know, I've been there too. Why not say grace, ask for a blessing from the food, breathe, slow down! Bring a cooler with your lunch you made at home. Don't drive anywhere. Sit under a tree and eat! Eat less if you don't have much time. Yoga, Tai Chi or just deep belly breathing may play a role here, too. He needs to increase circulation to the area, both blood and chi. Got to move the stagnation, gradually and gently though, not via "River Five" - that would likely bring a quick trip to the emergency room! Let's avoid tight pants or tight belts - let's not have clothing restricting the blood flow in any way around the area. How about a dip in the ocean? Well, not too likely he'll get there, but a dip in the cooling sea wouldn't be a bad thing.
4. Nourish and Tonify: Foods, herbs and lifestyle changes we can apply. OK, there is a lot we can do here. First off, most important, get the healthy bacteria built up. That implies yogurt or even raw milk if we can get it. He says he knows a goat farmer -- there you go! Milk is cooling for heat and inflammation anyway. Let's have that yogurt several times a day around meals. Other healing foods for the digestive system would be oats, especially oatmeal, first thing in the morning. Gentle, soft absorbent fiber is what is needed. Blueberries are superstars too -- loaded with fiber - just have to make sure the seeds won't bother him. I would suggest blending, smoothies, that kind of thing. Other good foods to consider are Black beans as they are an intestinal superstar! Lentils, excellent for quelling inflammation, too. Bitter greens are great, esp. Dandelions, Broccoli Rab, other leafy greens like Kale -- however the greens must be cooked thoroughly -- almost nothing raw or remotely close to raw! Even pureeing some of his meals or making soups wouldn't be the worst idea for a while. We've got to take it easy on our digestive track. I'd be careful of nuts and seeds or anything harsh or bulky. If you eat salad, make sure to put extra virgin olive oil on it to facilitate digestion.

Cook the above mentioned greens well in a big pot of water for a long while till they get limp and the water gets dark - drink the water or put it in soup, add onion and garlic to the pot. If he wants meat, fish would be best - maybe poached salmon. Food we want to avoid - anything with saturated fat from non-organic sources cooked at high temperatures and all foods with vegetable oils! Only oil he can have is extra-virgin olive oil. He needs to drink plenty of fluids through all this too -- see infusions further down.

Now, let's talk about herbs! Can he make infusions? Buy some dried herbs and get a mason jar??? What about tinctures and vinegars??? All of these could help,but this requires some action on his part,most people I talk to aren't up to boiling water every day! Some Herbs I would consider in tincture form:
Violet Leaf: Very cooling, lowers inflammation, helps the appendix detox itself.
Burdock Root: As a tonic for his digestive system. He could also make a tea out of the fresh burdock leaves to cool things down.
Dandelion Root: Could be useful before meals to aid digestion (perhaps 1-2 droppers full in water).
Wormwood: Great for relieving painful gas and cramping, only to be used on a short term basis (only 5-10 DROPS).
Echinacea: If I had an infection, which he may have, I don't know, I would use Echinacea now. Half your body weight in drops is the dose (so if you weight 140, you use 70 drops in a glass of water), frequency will be several times a day until the infection subsides, then taper the frequency but don;t lower the dose.

Vinegars:
Burdock Root: again this will tonify his digestive system
Dandelion Root: Helps with his digestion.
Apple cider vinegar in general is great, but when you bring in herbal-infused vinegars, that's super.

Two main infusions (he could do one for a few days and then the other and cycle):
Stinging Nettle leaf and Stems!
Linden Flower Blossoms.
Both of these two turn off inflammation. Nettle also helps move that stagnant chi. Linden Flowers would be very cooling and help put out that fire.
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5. Stimulate and sedate: Not sure where this one will come into play as far as we're concerned. Might involve strong herbs, laxatives, heroic cures, but that's not a place I'm going.
6. Drugs: Antibiotics for the infection before, during or after surgery. We'll leave that to the medical professionals.
7. Surgery: Remove the offending organ - not my job, but hopefully the job of a skilled surgeon who does lots of these kinds of operations. No big deal! Easy for the surgeon to say, but my buddy is young and strong, and I feel he'll probably do fine if it indeed came to the Seventh River. Apparently we can live without our appendix quite well, but knowing me, I still think there must be a reason for it!

Now, even if the surgery should become necessary, he should still do many of these things afterward because we still need to address the root of the problem (chronic inflammation), and taking away the appendix will not take away all the other organs and systems of his body that are subject to this inflammation! This chronic inflammation will simply manifest in a different way in days, months and years to come.

Two sites to check out to purchase herbs:
http://www.redmoonherbs.com/index.php RED MOON HERBS
http://www.blessedherbs.com/bh/home BLESSED HERBS

To access Susun Weed's work directly:
http://www.youtube.com/user/wisewomantradition LINK to SUSUN'S VIDEOS ("Seven Rivers" videos, "How to Make Infusions").
Link to Susun's Course on the Seven Rivers.

Note to friend: If you stop by, I can help get you started on the infusions. I'll show you how and then you need to make your own. I have some vinegar you can try as well. Give me a day's notice and I'll have some stuff ready!

Violet Leaf Vinegar

2010-06-27T07:03:00.000-07:00

In an earlier post, I discussed making herbal vinegars, especially Violet leaf vinegar; well, more than six weeks have passe and I finally tried some Friday night. I have to say the Violet leaf vinegar was the most exquisite vinegar I have ever tasted. It had a sweetness to it that I can't fully describe - there is simply this amazing quality to it. Again, I'm not doing well for a writer, but I can only say I have never tasted anything so wonderful. I believe I put a few blossoms in there, but it was mostly the violet leaves. I only made one small jar because even though I have a good deal of violet in my backyard in the early spring, it still requires a great many leaves to fill even a small jar. Now being just past mid-summer, the Violet is not really thriving anymore - this isn't a plant that loves heat! I'll follow it carefully in the fall to see if the cooler weather brings a revival, and then I will make some more. If not, I'll file this one under the early spring delights category. A rare and wonderful blessing from a very special plant.

Nettle Love

2010-05-24T03:17:00.000-07:00

Nettle embraces me, a really strong hug, from the inside out, shaking me into life itself. The initial grasp is like an electric shock, a jolt of fire sent up and down my nervous system, from my spine through every branch and nerve ending, electrical flashes firing from the center of my being as if I were just born. My pupils dilate, all black and empty, my mouth stretches for air, and then I breathe deeply from the bottom of my spine to the top of my lungs, filling them completely – a green, sweet, woody essence, now my breath, is given away. My spine is strong yet hollow and flexible, my every vein green leaves branching outward. This life is very painful and very good, like being burned in the hottest fire, but instead of being obliterated, I am still able to feel every aspect of the pain, and it is wonderful and challenging. Pain is just another word to be breathed through. As I glance at my outstretched hands I take in all the energy. My body is buzzing and flickering with the currents;they are connected deep into the earth.

Real Impact of the BP Oil Spill: The Worst Man-Made Disaster in Human History?

2010-05-17T04:53:00.000-07:00

As the news of the April 20, 2010 British Petroleum oil rig disaster began to surface, I immediately felt a strong sense that we were not being told the full story of the immediate and potential long term impacts of the disaster. I felt in my gut that the 5000 barrels of oil a day most major news media outlets said were leaking into the gulf was a gross underestimate.

When you study (even casually) the technology of these deep oil wells, and you quickly realize how much pressure they are actually tapping into, the reality is that the term leak does not accurately portray what is really happening. Underwater explosion and oil volcano are more accurate images. According to Steve Wereley, a Purdue University professor, the damage might be closer to "56,000 and 84,000 barrels of oil per day" ("Purdue prof: Oil Spill Underestimated").

The technology of these deep oil rigs is relatively new, and the idea that we can go that far down under the sea and tap into these vast oil reserves deserves pause, even without the recent disaster. When you think of the immense pressure of the sea water at those depths and the upwelling of the oil, which was previously locked into the earth's surface, you may well imagine potential doomsday scenarios when contemplating such a catastrophe.

The most immediate thoughts that went through my mind were what happens if they simply can't stop the "leak"? What if the challenges of the depths and pressure and newness of the technology all prove to be too much and they never stop the leak? Has an explosion ever occurred at such depths? Is there any similar precedent for dealing with such a situation? Will the oil eventually stop flowing on it's own? How long might that take?

Of course, no one knows the answers to these questions. If they were never able to stop it, might it flow for years or even decades? The next thought I have is knowing all the oceans of the world are connected by currents, what would happen if the oil makes its way around Florida into the Gulf Stream currents?

Well, in fact, this is now happening and, again, we are plunged into the void of simply not knowing what will happen. North Carolina residents are now preparing themselves for the possibility that they may see oil on their shores this summer.

There is an interesting video that NASA compiled a few years ago showing the inter-connectedness of ocean currents; it is worth viewing for a moment.

Is it really a stretch to see the oil spreading out across the oceans of the world? What would be the environmental impact of such a scenario? Am I seriously the only human on this planet who has considered such an unfolding of events? I once heard a scientist say that theoretically one drop of water could circulate all the oceans of the planet following the ocean currents. He estimated it would take 1000 years for that to happen. Will we be dealing with the impacts of this disaster for the next 1000 years?

I would now like to focus our attention on a recent video shot by John Wathen, an Alabama resident. He flew over the gulf waters a few days ago and videotaped it. His commentary is rather sobering.

Where does all this leave us? Have we as a species finally gone too far? I have blogged earlier that so called "fossil fuels" with all their drawbacks seemed much safer than the reality of nuclear power, and while I can't (and wouldn't) deny the obvious benefits to human civilization gained from burning these fuels, I feel now that we've crossed some line - some transgression against the holy earth has occurred that can never be remedied. I can only say that this situation has the potential to be the worst man-made environmental disaster in human history. The full impact may never be fully understood. So why is this story not getting more media attention?

There is one last thing I would like to add. Let us remember the eleven men who were killed when the rig exploded; their bodies were never recovered. I seldom find their names mentioned in the media, at least not in the national media. Just eleven men after all. And what about all the people their lives may have impacted through the years? People who depended on them. People who loved them.

Jason Anderson
Aaron Dale Burkeen
Donald Clark
Stephen Curtis
Roy Wyatt Kemp
Karl Kleppinger
Gordon Jones (M-I SWACO)
Blair Manuel (M-I SWACO)
Dewey Revette
Shane Roshto
Adam Weise

If you'd like to see their faces or leave condolences to their families, please do so.

Spring Delights

2010-04-25T11:10:00.001-07:00

Herbal Vinegars and Stinging Nettle Soup!

I made the most delicious Stinging Nettle soup yesterday. The Nettle where I live is quite big and strong already, and though I don't have a huge amount, the plants have spread out nicely. I imagine I can probably make Nettle soup once a month as long as I cut just enough to have it grow back (although you could cut Nettle down to the ground, and it would still grow back). I harvested only the top six inches from the plants which are about three feet high. Since I didn't have too much Nettle, I supplemented it with local potatoes, leeks (from the grocery store), onions, garlic, carrots, and sea salt. Bringing the water to a vigorous boil, I added the Nettle and other ingredients and let it all boil pretty good for an hour, then turned it down some and let it boil gently for another hour or so. It was delicious yesterday and even better the day after. The key tip as I learned from Susun Weed last Sunday at her workshop "Hands on Herbal Medicine" is to put the Nettle right into the boiling water instead of putting the Nettle in the water and bringing it to a boil afterwards. That way the boiling water breaks the cell wall of the plant right away and allows the minerals and other nutrients to flow right into the water and also allows the Nettle leaves and stalks, which I cut up pretty good with a scissors, to get real tender. Never wash greens in cold water before cooking because that tightens them up and will make your greens very tough, which is like all the greens I've ever cooked in my life up until this point!

I had a great time, by the way, bringing some of my Brookdale Community College students up to Susun Weed's farm last Sunday. They have been using Healing Wise as the text for a research writing class I teach, and the opportunity to meet Susun and attend a workshop was really eye-opening for them. The interesting thing is I always learn something new, no matter how many times I attend the same workshop! This was the third of forth time I've been to that particular workshop, and Susun's teaching is always unique and relevant. You can see some of my students in the background in the picture below; they were a bit cold at times, as the sun played hide and seek and raindrops occasionally danced around us, but overall the weather was typical and fine for upstate NY in April, and we were so happy no prolonged rain occurred on that day. If you ever get a chance to attend a worskhop by Susun, I highly recommend it. Susun is a true American treasure and she is so open and accessible to all students who would seek her teaching!

As far as herbal vinegars, I have much Cronewort (Artemisia Vulgaris) and Lemon Balm (Melissa Officinalis) all over the place, so I made those vinegars, and I also made some Violet (Viola Odorata) leaf vinegar as I have a lot of Violet this spring, too. Next will be Dandelion root vinegar! Vinegars are very easy to make. Just get your jars of varying sizes and pasteurized Apple Cider vinegar. Fill the jars with plant material right up to the top, allowing a little spring in the top if you push down, and add the vinegar to the top (I check the levels the next day or so just to see if I've put enough vinegar and usually add a little more). You'll be surprised at how much plant material you can stuff into those jars! Label and let sit for six weeks and enjoy. Don't use a metal lid, and if you do, put some plastic wrap or whatever under the lid because the vinegar will corrode the metal lid.

Fun stuff for Spring Blessings!

Stinging Nettle is Still Speaking

2010-03-07T10:05:00.000-08:00

The message for today is "Spring is on the way." The Stinging Nettle is just starting to emerge for the Spring 2010 season. The roots have spread out in my little Nettle patch, and I'm hoping for many more plants this year. Nettle is OK with cold weather and is one of the first plants to poke out of the cold, damp ground indicating better things to come! Hey, we've made it through another winter, just barely in some cases, but resiliency is the key! Ah, to live in a forest of Stinging Nettle. I would never be bored that's for sure.

Revisiting Aldous Huxley: For the Modern Shaman/Healer/Alchemist in All of Us

2010-02-26T09:44:00.000-08:00

"I continued to look at the flowers, and in their living light I seemed to detect the qualitative equivalent of breathing--but of a breathing without returns to a starting point, with no recurrent ebbs but only a repeated flow from beauty to heightened beauty, from deeper to ever deeper meaning. Words like 'grace' and 'transfiguration' came to my mind, and this, of course, was what, among other things, they stood for." (18)

The above quote is from Huxley's The Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell (1954). A fresh look at Huxley, in my case, has revealed work that is as important and timely as if it were written today, and particularly important for an herbalist/alchemist. Huxley's work is so big it cannot properly be contained in any one box or category but spans so many genres and generations. Deep down I see him as a person primarily interested in personal, academic, and spiritual freedom, and the perfect antidote to today's politically dyed, lazy intellectuals and half-baked new age gurus and theorists. Quite simply he is the real deal. His is a mind that would have been truly treasured in any time and place in the history of humankind.

photo source: http://www.gpaulbishop.com/GPB%20History/GPB%20Archive/Section%20-%201/A.%20Huxley/Image%204/image_4.htm

I'd like to delve a bit deeper into The Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell. In the following passage, Huxley attempts rather well I might add to put into words that which has mostly gone unsaid but is indeed understood by a select few who would seek such an understanding. When I imagine a language of healing or alchemy, I find our current languages, especially English, woefully inadequate to capture the nuances of energy and relations. Perhaps the part of our brain that processes language is simply not capable of understanding (or connected to) the vastness on the other side of symbol. Science and religion certainly haven't caught up to Huxley either. Huxley is quoting here from Dr. C.D. Broad

"'The suggestion is that the function of the brain and nervous system and sense organs is in the main eliminative and not productive. Each person is at each moment capable of remembering all that has ever happened to him and of perceiving everything that is happening everywhere in the universe. The function of the brain and nervous system is to protect us from being overwhelmed and confused by this mass of largely useless and irrelevant knowledge, by shutting out most of what we should otherwise perceive or remember at any moment, and leaving only that very small and special selection which is likely to be practically useful.'" Huxley continues, "To make biological survival possible, Mind at Large has to be funneled through the reducing valve of the brain and nervous system. What comes out at the other end is a measly trickle of the kind of consciousness which will help us to stay alive on the surface of this particular planet. To formulate and express the contents of this reduced awareness, man has invented and endlessly elaborated those symbol-systems and implicit philosophies which we call languages. Every individual is at once the beneficiary and the victim of the linguistic tradition into which he has been born -- the beneficiary inasmuch as language gives access to the accumulated records of other people's experiences, the victim in so far as it confirms him in the belief that reduced awareness is the only awareness and as it bedevils his sense of reality, so that he is all to apt to take his concepts for data, his words for actual things....The various 'other worlds,' with which human beings erratically make contact are so many elements in the totality of the awareness belonging to Mind at Large. Most people, most of the time, know only what comes through the reducing valve and is consecrated as genuinely real by the language." (22-24)

I use an analogy of a small dot on a large whiteboard. I tell my students to imagine the white board to be as large as the side of an enormous building, skyscraper, stadium, whatever, and to imagine the dot (a very small dot) to be all the knowledge that has ever been recorded and taught to humans throughout our history via the usual channels of transmission, in essence the power of the conscious mind, the scientific brain, the physician, (especially today) the technology -- all the university professors, philosophers, theologians -- what we now accept as our current world-view, what we know to be real, our religions and gods (small "r" and small "g"). By trusting in the small white dot instead of accessing the expanse of empty space surrounding the dot, the void, which is really not empty at all, we miss the source of true wisdom and reality, and, more importantly, allow ourselves to be enslaved. This condition of anemic understanding and willful bondage is especially egregious among the modern slaves and masters -- ego and power driven priests and priestesses, our celebrities, CEOs, billionaires, and the rest of us following along, hoping for crumbs from their tables. Though I don't know what the ancients thought of themselves and their egos and intellects, we certainly think we are all that, and we trust in our so-called leaders and our current educational processes as being completely valid, when in truth they are completely incompetent and practically worthless. Any belief that doesn't fit into or gain acceptance, within the temple walls, remains outside of the world of legitimacy, and we spend our lives serving these gods and goddesses of educational/intellectual conformity, pseudo-liberalism, or so-called progressivism, material prestige, religion, elitism and arrogance that worships the dot and chooses not to acknowledge the void. When Huxley speaks of "Mind at Large" he is referring to the void, not the dot. The dot is the "eliminative" aspect of the mind and consciousness into which we place so much trust. You might say on our altars we are worshiping the fruits of the "eliminative" mind-- what I'm really saying is we are worshiping shit. Huxley says this more poetically when he writes, "Most people, most of the time, know only what comes through the reducing valve and is consecrated as genuinely real by the language". The language in which we trust so mightily is woefully inadequate to express the void, and we often run from the opportunities existing outside the narrow realm of perceived reality.

Huxley continues in the following passages to explore the limits of our linguistic inadequacies: "However expressive, symbols can never be the things they stand for....Art, I suppose, is only for beginners, or else for those resolute dead-enders, who have made up their minds to be content with the ersatz of Suchness, with symbols rather than what they signify, with the elegantly composed recipe in lieu of the actual dinner." (29-30) I suppose that condition wouldn't be so terrible if we (society at large) didn't insist with such absolute resolve (and impose that iron-willed certainly upon all those we would enslave, especially children and students!) that the symbol is all there is -- I do so love that phrase "the ersatz of Suchness" (29). Huxley isn't completely down on artists, but I would say the "craft" should not be worshiped as the ultimate success, when the artist hasn't captured or attempted to capture the energy beyond the symbol: "What the rest of us see only under the influence of mescaline, the artist is congenitally equipped to see all the time. His perception is not limited to what is biologically or socially useful. A little of the knowledge belonging to Mind at Large oozes past the reducing valve of brain and ego, into his consciousness. It is a knowledge of the intrinsic significance of every existent." (33) While praising mescaline as the deliverer from the small mind to the "Mind at Large", Huxley would be the first to say, I think, that the means to this journey is not the important aspect, rather that one undertakes it at all: "...mescaline had delivered me -- [from] the world of selves, of time, of moral judgments and utilitarian considerations, the world (and it was this aspect of human life I wished, above all else to forget) of self-assertion, of cocksureness, of overvalued words and idolatrously worshiped notions." (36) Huxley writes at length of the actions of the substance on the brain; he speaks of mescaline limiting blood sugar to the brain thereby reducing the amount of fuel for the ego. A removal of the heavy-handed little self and mind that trusts only in the "ersatz of suchness" and as indicated enslaves others with that same prison of symbols(29).

Here is an interesting take on the relationship between this limited ego reality and one's physical health. Huxley is describing the opposite of what we know as the zone, a term applied mostly to sports visualization and performance, but certainly one we have all experienced at peak moments of transcendent awareness, almost paranormal in our union with the cosmos -- life in these timeless moments seems effortless, with a clear and powerful telepathy between will and outcome, all experienced with a level of ease seldom if ever experienced in any other part of our lives. I suppose one seeking to shift energies, promote healing, and encourage transformation, would be wise to consider the intentions expressed here: "All that the conscious ego can do is to formulate wishes, which are then carried out by forces which it controls very little and understands not at all. When it does anything more -- when it tries too hard, for example, when it worries, when it becomes apprehensive about the future -- it lowers the effectiveness of those forces and may even cause the devitalized body to fall ill."(52) What a marvelous description of dis-ease. Is this merely our fate as humans? Why is it so hard to move away from this little dictator ego? It is as if we were offered a way out, yet often refuse to take it: "The literature of religious experience abounds in references to the pains and terrors overwhelming those who have come, too suddenly, face to face with some manifestation of the Mysterium tremendum [simple translation,overwhelming mystery].In theological language, this fear is due to the incompatibility between man's self-aggravated separateness and the infinity of God....by unregenerate souls, the divine Light at its full blaze can be apprehended only as a burning, purgatorial fire. An almost identical doctrine is to be found in The Tibetan Book of the Dead, where the departed soul is described as shrinking in agony from the Pure Light of the Void, even from the lesser, tempered Lights, in order to rush headlong into the comforting darkness of self-hood as a reborn human being, or even as a beast, an unhappy ghost, a denizen of hell. Anything other than the burning brightness of unmitigated realty -- anything!" (55-56) Huxley is asking us to seek out the experience of the void; he is asking us to test the limits of our "eliminative" reality against the vast ocean of revelation and creation accessible only through emptiness.

All quotes from:
Huxley, Aldous. The Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell. Harper & Brothers, New York: 1954.

photo source: http://www.laurahuxley.com/AldousPhotos.html

A Most Unsual Lavendar Plant

2010-01-05T04:37:00.000-08:00

I planted a small herb garden on June 21, 2009. I remember being outside all day digging in the pouring rain. I didn't mind as it was a warm rain and one of the plants I put there was a Lavender bush. This particular plant lasted a long time, through early January. I so wanted to harvest some of it, but since it was it's first year in this garden, I didn't want to take too much until it got nice and settled in, and I just kept marveling at how it seemed to tolerate the cold and even snow, so I left it alone. It may well be an English variety. I wasn't aware that there are French varieties that don't tolerate cold well and English varieties that do. Remember most of my experience is with weeds, not cultivated plants!

The following picture was after the first snow we had in early December. The ground hadn't yet frozen, and this little plant was still enjoying life, giving off a great fragrance amidst the snow. I will be anxiously awaiting the spring to see how this little one does for the second year.

I kept the herb garden smallish, just as a reminder of the summer. I've got some mints in there and the aforementioned Lavender bush and a more vine like Lavender plant. I also had some basil which was the first to go when the cold weather came in.

'TIS the SEASON of ST.JOHN'S WORT

2009-12-26T05:21:00.000-08:00

If there were ever an herb suited for the winter season, it would be St.John's Wort, perfect remedy for the long, dark December nights. St. John's Wort brings comfort and reassurance to the one holding this herb close during the winter months. Even though the sun is now in fact returning, ever so slowly, day by day, leading up to the summer solstice, when it will again begin slipping away, imperceptibly at first and then more noticeably by August and fleeing quickly by October, until we get back to the darkness of December and the Christmas/Winter Solstice season, and so on, ad infinitum -- in one's mind and deep, I think, in one's primal consciousness, the flight of the sun always inspires fear and doubt and a direct view into the void, the dark night of the soul -- that the sun will not return at all. St. John's Wort can bridge this gap, mend this false sense of dualism inherent in the human psyche. The healing comes in unification, the bringing together of all disparate parts of one's consciousness. There is no dualism with St. John's Wort, only unity.

I find the oil of St. John's Wort, made from infusing the fresh flowers at the height of the summer season in extra virgin olive oil to be a particularly useful for of this magnificent healing. A massage with St. John's Wort oil is what's needed. You can do this yourself, or if you're fortunate enough, have your partner do this for you, and right before bedtime is a wonderful way to drift off into sleep. Pay particular attention to the souls of your feet and your face and neck. Massage deep and hard into the tired bottoms of your feet, bend and squeeze/fold the foot from the toes on down. Grind your feet with your fist as if you were crushing herbs with a mortar and pestle. Gentle movements across the face, making circles with your finger tips above the eyes and down into the temples will go along way to dissolve the stress of the day. Don't forget to massage below your eyes, too. If you really in need of a good dose of this energy, take the tincture as well right before bed. I'd say anywhere from 2 to 6 droppers full in a small glass of water. You will experience deep sleep, as an herb under the snow in winter. You may find you don't even move the covers much. Like a stone dropped into the sea, you've gone to some healing place, completely out of your body, until morning when you return.

Climate Change and the Copenhagen Climate Conference

2009-12-20T05:14:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about the recent attempt by the world leaders to meet and to discuss "solutions" to Global Warming. Their meetings raise my levels of skepticism and inquiry as to whether they have any idea what they are really talking about and whether this like so many government initiatives is really just another way to control people. I think when people (like Al Gore, for example) are so quick always to mention destruction and apocalyptic predictions, you too would be wise to put your BS radar on full alert.

I'm stuck on at least a couple of points.

How can CO2 be a pollutant when it is a naturally occurring gas?

When plants take in CO2, they always give away oxygen. Seems like the plants might have a very low-tech, widely available, and inexpensive solution to this problem; rather than asking for 100 billion dollars for a fund for God-knows-what, why don't we look to the plants to help us? Why does everything cost so much with these folks and who's supposed to pay for it? Well, they want the developing countries to pay. We in the west got wealthy and developed our civilizations with fossil fuels, but we want to tell the up and coming nations, you have to cut back, let your children die because we must reduce carbon emissions. That doesn't seem like a holistic solution. I'm sorry, but I think a child in Africa or India is as important as a child anywhere else. They're not going to cut back anyway. I mean would I personally suggest that they need not follow our lead of over-consumption and excess? Sure, but that's easier said then done, and really not my place to be telling them how to live anyway.

Next question: Isn't climate always changing?

Maybe our approach should be to be flexible and to adapt to the changes rather then to try to stop them from occurring, as if we could. Won't there be winners and losers in any such equation? Aren't we "smart" enough to adapt to whatever changes come our way and work with the benefits and opportunities that will also come? One thing Al Gore left out of his movie is the warming period in the middle ages. It didn't make his now famous "hockey stick" graph. Vikings once farmed in Greenland, for example, and now there is permafrost there. What caused the earth to warm then? By the way, the earth was much warmer then, and there were no great catastrophes or end of the world scenarios. What caused the earth to cool again since this is way before the human factor of carbon emissions? Could there be other factors in the warming, like the cycles of the sun? Why for that matter do other planets like mars warm and cool? How do we explain that? These are worthy questions because these leaders are asking for a huge commitment from people, and I write this because I think that effort will be terribly misguided. We should be focusing on other aspects of human behavior.

Let's face it, fossil fuels have served a great purpose to our species. Why can't we admit that? Why are we asked to feel guilty about our survival? But guilt is a huge factor here, especially for Americans. See Al Gore is a hero. He has a heroic solution to this problem. A heroic solution implies someone has been bad and needs to be rescued from themselves. We need to pay for our sins, and climate change is the reward for our misdeeds. Only if we repent and change our ways can we be saved -- otherwise destruction is assured (we deserve it, anyway). Sounds more like a preacher than policy maker. I don't think guilt serves much purpose here. I don't think acting out of as sense of self-hatred does either. I don't trust people who would appeal to my sense of shame for being alive and using resources because of that fact. One of my students recently did an exhaustive and well thought out presentation on the Chernobyl disaster - she grew up not far from there and had many family members directly affected. Let me tell you, it broke my heart. Incidentally, only two students in the class of 20 even heard of Chernobyl (!), but when I hear people advocate the use of more nuclear power plants to cut down on carbon emissions, I get a chill down my spine. I'll take fossil fuels and their problems any day of the week compared with nuclear. However, if I were to push for a transition away from fossil fuels, it would first be based on matters of war and peace and national security. A better question to ask is how is our dependence on foreign oil, for example, shaping our defense policy? Now I'm listening. War is a greater and more immediate threat to the human species than climate change. That argument is seldom mentioned except by Republicans who want to "drill here" and "drill now". Well, developing alternative energy in my mind is a more sustainable solution than drilling for oil off the Jersey coast.

How about mentioning deforestation? Isn't that a far greater threat to people than carbon emissions? Remember how the plants make oxygen from carbon dioxide? Well, let's stop destroying them. Let them do their thing -- ask them for help. I can tell you deforestation causes local and quick climate change and can destroy entire regions and populations in a very short time; we know that from the historical accounts of whole cities that seemed to vanish overnight. Why not put more emphasis on that? Do you know that cities are hotter in the summer and colder in the winter? Much of this instability if you will could very well be caused by our stressing of local ecosystems. This issue gets lost in all the reduce your carbon footprint bullshit.

What about the preservation of wetlands across the globe? The wetlands are the earth's filtration and detoxification system, so why do we allow them to be drained, filled, and develoed at such a rapid rate? This argument is also obscured by the carbon footprint scenario. There are so many other issues that get eclipsed, too. I don't work for the oil companies, but I feel this simpleminded approach, while appealing to the masses and would be hybrid car owners, works to get people's atention, it is also terribly flawed.

What about talking to the plants for that matter? Let's see what they have to say. How about communicating with the spirits of the animals, too, while we are at it, or the earth herself? Do these world leaders spend a lot of time doing that? Meditating? Praying? Asking for humility and wisdom? Asking help from God? Do they spend time with elders to see what solutions they might offer? I would first start there. The call for radical action seems very wrong to me on so many levels.

Stray Cats

2009-12-14T11:55:00.000-08:00

There are many stray cats living in my neighborhood. Pictured below is "Lady". She's one I kind of adopted. Not like she'd ever come inside, but she does sleep in a bed on our porch, and I feed her regularly. She had been previously cared for by our next door neighbors, but they moved away and Lady was left behind. Again, not that they would have been able to take Lady with them (except by force); she is simply and outside cat and not going to be moved inside for any reason.

Lady gets by on her own quite well actually. We have at least two or three neighbors who regularly leave food out for her and the other strays. The interesting thing about Lady is however independent she may be, she also requires love and attention. More than asking for food, she will make a point to stop whomever happens to be coming in or going out to let them know she would like some affection. She won't let you pass without stopping for a moment or two and petting her. She especially likes reassuring words and comforting gestures. I often feel as if she is purposely stopping me to slow me down, force me to breathe, relax and perhaps lower my blood pressure some.

All the cats in the neighborhood provide much entertainment and lessons to anyone willing to slow their hectic schedules down and observe. There are at least four or five cats I see on a regular basis. They certainly have their territories marked out and seem to patrol the same areas every day. I think to myself that these cats are living the life. There's not a huge amount of traffic on our side streets and most people if not friendly to the cats are not hostile. This NJ suburb isn't exactly Key West, but the cats have free reign to do pretty much whatever cats do, and that is as it should be. After all, a cat should be allowed to be a cat.

Dream Healing

2009-11-18T02:50:00.000-08:00

One of my students has a recurring dream. In it she has a baby and an intense desire to care for this baby, quite literally to hold the baby very closely and very tightly. The baby in her dream is even heavy. The baby seems to have little connection with the husband or any other caretakers; my student is the one who knows and loves this baby, know what it needs, and must care for it.

This particular student is also dealing with kidney disease. Her kidneys have been losing their ability to work, gradually declining in function over the years. If the trend continues, she has told me the doctors tell her she'll need a donor kidney. That information would be enough to shake anyone to the core. In Traditional Chinese Medicine the kidneys are the most important organ. The energy of the universe is brought into the body through the kidneys. Stress your kidneys and your vital life force (chi) will be depleted and every other organ/system of the body will suffer.

My insight for her is the dream baby is her condition, perhaps quite literally her kidneys, but even more, I think, the "dysfunction" in her kidneys, more like a crying baby or an infant in trouble who cannot help him or herself.

Her approach now is to to feel like she's sitting on a train track and all she can do is feel the rumbling of the train bearing down on her at 100 miles an hour, the train noise, like a tornado sound, indicating total destruction is imminent. Yet maybe in this analogy she is also the train bearing down on herself?

But let's go back to the baby in her dream, that this dream baby is her illness or even her kidneys. What does this baby need? Nourishment/milk: Now, Stinging Nettle has been referred to as the mother's milk of the earth, so let's bring Stinging Nettle infusions into the discussion. Raw milk is quite literally applicable here as well, I think, if she is willing to introduce that food into her diet. You would want the baby to have the best possible milk - mother's breast milk if possible, which of course is raw - yet maybe the Nettle or even the raw milk in this case are just energetic shadows of some greater realm of nourishment - a kind of nourishment in it's gentlest, purest, most original form - lots of unconditional motherly love - close-holding-warm-completely-safe-kind-of-love, like the love she offered the baby in her dreams.

Rest/sleep: Rest at all odd hours. Naps during the day. Disconnecting from 24/7 cell phones and computers. Cutting down work hours. Would a baby work long hours? Let's slow down the runaway train and resist the urge to get everything done before the disaster finally strikes.

She's also a vegetarian, and this can't be helping her kidneys. I would estimate that her kidney's have helped shoulder the load from her vegetarianism, working hard to replace in vital chi what her diet is not bringing into her body (so the kidneys have had to work extra hard to "donate" this energy which she is not getting in animal products). I would offer a slow introduction of some forms of meat. Grass fed organic beef is the best, but perhaps some organic chicken, baked slow in the oven may be a better place to start, even hearty soups made from beef marrow bones or fish chowders. This process may take a while because she has told me she doesn't think she could eat meat. Well, babies can't eat meat right away anyway; they need it slowly and gradually introduced once their digestive systems have matured enough. Start with the soups. Most of all she needs peace and quiet. No loud noises, adrenaline-pumping, life situations, like a train rumbling down the tracks headed straight for her! No roller-coaster relationships, the drama of everyday life right now is not serving her dream baby well. Space to grow and someone like a parent (herself in this case) to protect the infant, her kidneys, in this vulnerable place of growth and healing are what's needed.

Her kidneys have taken on the task of showing her all aspects of herself. This illness or dysfunction is really a gift wrapped up in the disease process. New kidneys, while they may be needed someday, will not necessarily fix the larger problem. She must care for her baby like no one else could; not even doctors or other very well-intentioned people in her life, like me, can do this work for her. She has to do it. Others can help, babysit, if you will from time to time, lend a hand or their expertise, but ultimately this is her baby, and hers alone. I might even suggest a book on how to take care of a newborn for her quite literally to act out this process as if she really were taking care of a baby. She needs to rise up like an righteous mother who in a moment of crisis (without any fear) takes charge of the situation and acts when others aren't so motivated because after all it's not their baby who's in trouble. Wouldn't any mother step onto train tracks to save her baby?

A Question Came In - on Fertility Herbs

2009-11-17T14:37:00.000-08:00

Someone asked me, "What herbs can aid someone in getting pregnant and what things to avoid?" This person is in her early 40's I was told and wanted some herbal helpers to check out.Number one fertility herb I know of for women is Red Clover (Trifolium Pratense). Make Red Clover infusions from the dried blossoms and drink hearty! It is certainly easy enough to harvest your own, but if you're buying it you may need to look around. Many of the companies I buy from have been mysteriously out of stock for a long while now? Another good helper for men is Oatsraw (Avena Sativa). Again, make infusions from the dried plant material. Of course, both can switch off and drink Red Clover and Oatstraw, but primarily, have the woman drink the Red Clover. I suggest each trying one herb at first without mixing in a lot of other things. Drink the Red Clover for a few days and then stop for a few days and then on again. You can't really drink too much but you may get tired of it, so that's when you could switch off and try the Oatstraw and vice-versa. Infusions keep for a few days in the refrigerator. You can probably drink up to a quart a day. While were on the subject of infusions, Stinging Nettle is another great infusion and especially useful once she gets pregnant to prevent miscarriage and keep the mother and baby very healthy. Tell the male in the equation to keep his jewels cool - no hot tubs or tighty whities for a while. Both people should avoid smoking, excessive alcohol, and toxic people. Get sleep, take care of yourself, do yoga, tai chi, chi gong or otherwise energy enhancing exercise, get massages, anything to help you relax, nourish and tonify your bodies and especially reproductive system. If all else fails find a good acupuncturist who practices Traditional Chinese Medicine. They have remarkable success with curing infertility. And give yourselves some time for these intentions/practices to work, I'd say at least six months.

Back At Work

2009-11-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm back at school today. Still feeling a little tired but otherwise symptom free for 2 days now. Can't say it was a lot of fun, but I'm thankful the herbs worked like they did. I was pretty sick for exactly 3 days, so that's not too bad all things considered. If anyone has any questions, please send them along.

How to Make Echinacea Tincture

2009-11-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

I've been praising this holy plant, so I might as well go over how to make the tincture of which I'm so fond.

I start with 1 pound dried Echinacea Angustifolia root. Last time I checked it was $60.00 from Frontier. I'll need 4, 1 qt. mason jars (approx. $5.00) and 1 gallon of 100 proof Vodka (around $70.00) and labels ($1.00).

Fill the 4 jars about 1/4 of the way each with the dried root and add the vodka to the top of the jar. Cap securely and label. Leave the jars in a cool, dry place out of direct light, and after 1 year you've got some great Echinacea tincture. For the first few days and weeks, check the jars to make sure nothing is sticking together, shake gently. If you needed to use it, you could after only 6 weeks, but waiting a year will produce a higher quality product. I say make at least a gallon; if you've got a family, you may want to make 2 gallons. It's precious and you'll be glad you made more and not less.I don't decant after a year, but you could - that is removing the liquid from what's left of the solids in the jar. I just leave it all in there and use a dropper to take what I need off the top and fill smaller 1 or 2 oz. dropper bottles.

Making your own will cost you about $2 an oz which is much cheaper than you can buy for anywhere else, and you know the quality is great because you made it yourself.If you store out of light and in a cool, dry place it will last a long time. My stock from 2002 is still perfect; I kept it down in my cellar until I need it.

To review:
Echinacea - $60.00
Mason Jars - $5.00
Vodka - $70.00
Labels - $1.00

$136.oo for 1 gallon of Echinacea tincture is a little over $2.00 an oz. By that formula I spent about $4.00 so far to get well from the Swine Flu - who says health care is expensive? I should add in the St. John's Wort too which I didn't make and that's about $11.25 an oz. from Red Moon Herbs, so factor in another $20.00 or so for that. Perhaps, next summer I will find some St. John's Wort and make my own!

2009-11-14T14:29:00.000-08:00

Well, after about three solid days, the illness seems finally to be on the run. I felt a lot better for about the last 24 hours. Most of the body aches are gone. I'm still taking Echinacea, just 3 times today, and St. John's Wort approximately 3 times today as well. I will continue to taper down tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be ready for work again on Monday, but I'm not going to push it if I don't feel up to it. The last thing you want to do is open the door for a virus such as this to come back. Now, I'm just sleepy. I slept a lot last night and even today. I will say if you're doing the herbal remedies, make sure you have a lot on hand. I'm surprised at how much Echinacea I went through, about 2 oz. so far this week, and a similar amount of St.John's wort. I had some Echinacea I made back in 2002, and it really turned out well. I'll be making more soon, as I've got about 2 qts. left and would like to have a larger reserve on hand.

Swine Flu Day Three

2009-11-13T11:33:00.000-08:00

This is certainly a nasty virus. I haven't seen much change now since I started initially to feel better from first using Echinacea and St. John's Wort. Last night I actually had some chest congestion for the first time, and one dose of Elecampane Root tincture (25 drops in water) was enough to gently but effectively clear away that problem. Within 30 minutes I could breathe clearly again. We'll see what happens tonight. This virus seems worse at night, and it's only 2:30 pm now.

I was hoping for some relief by now, and I'm wondering how much longer this is going to go on. I left a lot of work on my desk in my office at school. Last night my fever seemed a bit higher as I had a few rounds of night sweats. I always felt better after the fever broke, but then a few hours later, I had woken up again, having sweat through my shirt - that happened about three times last night.

Fox News says 22 million Americans have had swine flu since April 2009 - Fox. The worst thing so far is of course my loss of productivity at work (3 days now) but physically the body aches are really bad, not much seems to be helping. I tried St. John's Wort Oil last night (applied topically) and that did help, but you've got to use a lot of it. It's very warming and helps you relax and sleep better (it is also anti-viral of course). I'll update more later.

LIVE SWINE FLU BLOG

2009-11-12T15:01:00.000-08:00

OK, I've got a great opportunity to write about Swine Flu. I've got it!
It is now Wednesday evening, and Tuesday afternoon I started to feel the classic flu-like symptoms coming on - body aches, headache, dizziness, chills, tightness in the chest. By late Tuesday night it was full blown, adding a fever to the list of symptoms. This time around I started out right away with Echinacea tincture. Normally, if I feel I'm dealing with a virus, I'll go with St. John's Wort tincture for a few days, and if that doesn't do the trick or secondary symptoms develop, I'll go to Echinacea, but since we are in the middle of the Swine Flu pandemic, I wanted to go right to Echinacea, whether or not it turned out to be the flu or not. All the while I'm still using St. John's Wort in massive does, too. Remember, the St. John's Wort is the main viral fighter, the Echinacea is to keep away secondary infections, especially lung infections.

I felt immediate relief from the Echinacea, and I think I've learned something new: There really is no reason to wait to use Echinacea as it seems to have a strong effect on the general immune response, whether or not it specifically is fighting that particular virus. Really, if you suspect it can help you, go for it. As long as you are not taking Echinacea on a daily basis where it could have serious negative effects, similar to overusing antibiotics, you really have no worries.

The most amazing quality of the Echinacea is how it dries/clears out your lungs and keeps them safe. As far as all the normal coughing, sneezing and phlegm in the lungs, there has been little to none of it. The only symptom I'm currently left with is the body aches; you really need to take a lot of St. John's Wort, and I will try upping the dosage and frequency, because I've been surprised not to receive much relief in that department. I can also try drinking more fluids, and, if I'm up to it, getting a little exercise, perhaps tomorrow. But I'm amazed at how clear my lungs are. What a comfort and relief to someone with the flu to have that wild card taken off the table. The healing process now just involves a lot of rest until my immune system clears out the virus.

Remember: I'm using tinctures made from 100 proof alcohol. The dosage for Echinacea is half my body weight in drops, in my case 100 drops, 4 droppers full. With St. John's Wort, the dosage I've been using is 4-6 droppers full about 100-150 drops, but I may need to up that. I started out using the Echinacea about every 1/2 hour to an hour and now I'm down to every three or four hours as I have felt relief. I will continue to taper down the frequency, but not the dosage, as I start to feel better and better.

On My 48th Birthday

2009-11-08T04:53:00.000-08:00

Birthdays have never meant all that much to me, at least my own. In a sense I look at every day as a birthday of sorts. You never know for certain you're going to wake up. But this birthday seems more significant than others. I'm 48 today. I feel as though I've reached the end of a cycle of some kind, the end of a life as I have known it. In fact, my life has been disintegrating over the last 3 years to the point where there isn't much left in the material sense. I've never been too rooted in the material world to begin with. My material or physical aspect has been problematic shall I say regarding the things most people either take for granted, or eventually after some rough stretches figure out. Basic survival, family life, one's place in this world -- but not me -- I could liken the state of my evolution to a metaphor of an Indian holy man as written about by Tom Vater:

"They will walk the country naked, smeared in ash, live in forests and hovels and beg for alms. They are dead in the worldly sense. They are free of responsibility. They are free. Freedom’s just another word."

In receiving compassion, however, I've learned much more about it than I ever did when I was practicing it. I've now learned to see life in the most basic terms and to be grateful for the smallest crumb of sustenance. If this is the end of a cycle or the end of the cycle, what did it mean? I suppose that matters who you ask. Everyone who I've ever had any dealings with would likely filter their experiences with me by the lens of their own ego; how favorable was the deal? Only rare individuals are able to separate their ego from their observations if that's even possible: To remove the pain or the pleasure of the encounter and see the honest view of the relation.

The most dominant archetype in my life experience is probably the beggar as explained by Carolyn Myss:

"Beggar (Homeless person/ Indigent)

Completely without material resources, the Beggar is associated with dependence on the kindness of others, living on the streets, starvation, and disease, whether in New York City or Calcutta. It is easy to believe that the archetype of the Beggar is solely a negative one, but that is an illusion. A person need hardly be starving for food to be considered a Beggar. People "beg" for attention, love, authority, and material objects. We "throw a dog a bone" to give a powerless being a "treat" of power. From a symbolic perspective, the Beggar archetype represents a test that compels a person to confront self-empowerment beginning at the base level of physical survival. Learning about the nature of generosity, compassion, and self-esteem are fundamental to this archetypal pattern.

Films: Patrick Swazye in City of Hope.

Fiction: Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens; The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain.

Non Fiction: Meeting the Madwoman by Linda Schierse Leonard, Ph.D.

Religion/Myth: Lazarus (the beggar in Luke 16:22-23, who is "carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom" after his death, while the rich man outside whose gate he begged went to Hades); Yeta (Japanese beggar who may be a disguise for Inari, the god of food or goddess of rice); Odysseus (who disguised himself as a ragged beggar when he returned home from Troy); Lan Cai-he (in Taoist myth, one of the eight immortals, who dresses in rags and roams the streets as a drunken beggar)."

Yet I do at times feel more like a disguised beggar. My father used to say I must have been confused about my life thinking I were really an aristocrat in a poor man's life -- only problem about me from my father's point of view was I hadn't figured out I was poor. I still have this sense of being so much more than I am (and I feel that about everyone, this idea of the divinity in everyone is so present in my heart and mind). That I am connected to and a part of a larger energy and consciousness, and I know my small mind and ego are not of it, yet I sometimes (far too frequently) hold onto the idea that this failure or death of my life, whatever the current death happens to be, is all that I am. I have mostly worshiped the down and out, not out of romanticism, but rather from a lack of true self-esteem. I have mostly run away from anything and anyone that would root me in the material world (except the weeds, perhaps). I've been given so much and not always allowed myself to receive the gifts, breaking them like a spiteful child for always wanting more or different - a slave of my ego that compels me to squeeze every last bit of joy and happiness from my life for wanting that illusive other thing.

The interesting thing about the plants, or weeds as the case my be, is that I always receive their gifts unfettered. I don't feel embarrassed asking for strength from a Stinging Nettle plant or warmth from the essence of St. John's wort as I do from a person. To a lesser extent I've felt that way around animals and even children. But when I look at a peer, mostly a man, and to a similar but different extent, a woman, I often feel a sense of embarrassment or shame that I should even acknowledge the fact that I need something from someone. Why do I thank people from whom I buy things from for serving me? I don't do it from some Buddhist sense of enlightenment but more from a shame that I don't even deserve the thing I'm paying for. For most of my life I did this with people. Exquisite beautiful exotic people were the ones I always fell in love with, but after a certain time period I believed myself to be so unworthy of that love, I dishonored the relationship with my own dysfunction. Why has it been so hard to accept the bonds that would connect me to others? I have no answer for that, but it is the one great longing of my life. Why I could not just sit at the fire with the other cave-dwellers and enjoy the meat of the kill and the fruits of the earth? In the pursuit of spiritual or ethereal awareness, I have often lost the blessed spirit in the common and material of this world, what I propose as being so worthy in this blog, falling prey to the false belief that only the "higher" self was worth nurturing.

Swine Flu Mania

2009-10-25T05:41:00.000-07:00

While taking in a leisurely Sunday morning and listening to NPR, I was informed that President Obama has declared the 2009 H1N1 Swine Flu "a national emergency". Dr. Margaret Hamburg, the commissioner of the FDA, joined the host and warned people not to turn to the Internet to seek miracle cures or other strange devices currently being sold to ward off or cure flu. See, people are so desperate for the vaccine, and there's not enough to go around, they are looking for anything to save them. Dr. Hamburg cautioned "the best way to prevent yourself against disease is vaccination". She didn't even say H1N1, just disease, but I'm assuming she meant H1N1. Otherwise that would be a ridiculous statement, right? Even more thought provoking was the next guest, Tom Skinner, head of the CDC. He came on to speak to the urban legend-ish reports that some parents are having Swine Flu parties! You may have heard of chicken pox parties, where parents bring their healthy children in contact with other children who have the chicken pox so the healthy kids get the illness, get over it and then are forever immune to getting it again. Well, Mr. Skinner said he believes there may well be Swine Flu parties going on as well. He said the CDC is now monitoring social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter to investigate whether or not these flu parties are actually taking place. He cautioned against this strategy saying something to the effect of there are so many other viruses out there that mimic the flu, this is just not a good idea. That made me wonder: how many cases of supposed H1N1 are really just that and not other illnesses? Hospitals have long stopped testing for the specific virus and just assume that anyone with flu like symptoms has H1N1. What if these cases are not actually H1N1 and some other virus? Will the H1N1 vaccine or the regular flu vaccine for 2009 offer protection? Of course not. Skinner also said, if indeed the Swine Flu parties were just that, there is "no reason to unnecessarily expose yourself or your child to the virus". Well, what would you call the "live attenuated nasal spray vaccine"* if not exposing yourself unnecessarily to the virus? Of course, attenuated means weakened but seems like a similar notion to the flu parties, no? I hope the FDA doesn't come after me for proposing Yogurt and St. John's Wort as preventatives! I don't suppose they will because after all I'm not selling anything, but if my site goes down mysteriously, you'll know what happened!

*If you happened to click on that link and actually read the notice regarding the nasal spray vaccine: Part 1 right hand column reads, "The 2009 H1N1 LAIV does not contain thimerosal or other preservatives". Yet the seasonal flu vaccine does according to the CDC's own literature "Thimerosal in Seasonal Influenza Vaccine". Yet, some companies now make thimerosal free vaccines! Quoting from a white paper on vaccines as far back as 1999 by health writer and film-maker Gary Null:

"The Threat of Thimerosal. On July 9, 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) issued a statement urging removal of the mercury-containing preservative thimerosal from vaccines. The reason behind this strong recommendation is a growing concern about the risk of exposing the developing brains of infants to mercury. While the precaution is certainly welcomed, we should ask why such a dangerous, known neurotoxin was allowed into vaccines in the first place. Mercury exposure has been associated with nerve cell degeneration, adverse behavioral effects and impaired brain development. It has also been linked to degenerative chronic conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease. The developing fetal nervous system is the most sensitive to its toxic effects, and prenatal exposure to high doses of mercury has been shown to cause mental retardation and cerebral palsy. . . .Can we be surprised that a growing number of children are manifesting cognitive disturbances such as autism and attention deficit disorder?"

Trusting plants and cows is so much simpler than the federal government and vaccine manufacturers.

St. John's Wort (Hypericum perforatum)

2009-10-24T16:46:00.000-07:00

I was in my local health food store and came across a new product line of herbs from a company called Natural Health International based in San Francisco. They feature fancy brochures, and I couldn't help but check out the one for St. John's Wort. Of course, the product is capsules with "all the active constituents in the same ratios as they naturally exist in the herb (including .3% hypericin + pseudo hypericin and 3% hyperforin" said to be excellent for people who suffer from "mental or emotional stress, mood swings" or people seeking "positive mood, healthy outlook, emotional well being, reduced stress level". Now, the folks at that company have obviously spent a lot of money on their brochures and marketing, and they are probably going to be successful, but I use this brochure as an example of a complete 180 from the kind of herbalism I'm really espousing. First of all, how do they know what the ratios are in the plants? Well, I'm assuming these plants are not wild and are all grown under the same or similar conditions if they are going to make that claim. OK, now, how do they know which ingredients are the one's most effective in healing? Again, they must have a great deal of scientific research to come to those conclusions. But I must also say there are probably hundreds or even thousands of chemicals in the plants that haven't been identified yet, so how do we know the three mentioned above are the only or main ones used in healing? Well, we don't, but again theirs is a completely scientific approach. What I'm talking about here in "Talking Weeds" is a very unscientific approach.

As I attempt to teach themes in herbal medicine and healing to my college students, I often find it difficult to get past the over-riding assumption that the scientific approach is really the best or most effective (or only) way to explore healing, even healing with herbs. I use Susun Weed's book Healing Wise as a way into the debate. I'm always amazed by the faith and affection for the Scientific Tradition, as Weed calls it, present in my students. It is hard to present this as just another way of viewing healing, just one of many ways. There is such a thorough and complete brainwashing that has occurred by the time one reaches 18 years of age. How did we ever get to this point of limiting our viewpoints so narrowly?

The place where I'm at is to encounter the plant in the wild. If I can't personally do this, I want to make sure the products I'm using are harvested and prepared in a similar way. Once I approach the plant, I want to acknowledge it's existence, for my benefit, not necessarily the plant's. Then I want to form a relationship with the plant. Much like human relations, relations with plants are about getting to know each other, respecting/honoring what each other brings to the moment and embracing the experience of being together in that moment. Maybe we'll never see each other again, or maybe we will renew our acquaintance many, many times over years even. The point of this relationship is that the plant is going to share secrets with me, not because I'm better than anyone else or privileged, but because I took the time to get to know the plant. The gifts are available to everyone. These secrets are the essence of learning how to use plants for healing. I don't trust books or even scientific research, I trust my relationship with the plant. I trust my internal sense of knowing that the plant has awakened within me. Wherever I go and whatever I do, I will have this new found or reawakened sense of awareness. I make notes within my heart as Juliette de Bairacli Levy would say. These notes can never be forgotten or erased. They stay with me forever. This relationship with the plant is constantly new and always a little different. The opposite of a plant grown under the same conditions, standardized and made into a preparation that always has the same constituents. On the contrary, wild plants are always different and will never contain exactly the same constituents. I'm not relying on merely the active chemicals within the plant to heal me, but the energy exchange. In this way I've moved beyond anything current science will say is possible. Interesting how the medicine of the ancients is actually far ahead of anything modern science can even contemplate.

Revolution?

2009-09-28T14:28:00.000-07:00

After reviewing pictures a former and very memorable (and I mean that in a good way) student of mine took at the latest G-20 protest, I was brought back to my younger days. I wasn't terribly wise then, but I was passionate (and, sadly, extremely left-wing in my viewpoints). Well, I went to more than my share of protests. On the one hand, I still have a great deal of empathy for people willing to get out in the streets and stare down well-armed riot police, yet I now also feel completely (and increasingly) detached from their methods to bring about change. Furthermore, I'm not completely sure they even know what they are protesting. What does that graffiti I read even mean: "Resist G-20"? What is the alternative? The world has always been a global marketplace, interconnected communities and nations linked by commerce of one kind or another. It would surprise most of you to know just how much travel our ancestors undertook. The indigenous elders I've spoken with have always indicated to me that ancient peoples frequently and easily traveled large distances and there was far more sharing among ancient cultures than we imagine today. Of course, we can and should learn from the mistakes of the past, but cultures have always eaten other cultures; for better or worse, that is part of the reality of cultural evolution and personal transformation on this planet, and it isn't really a bad thing in the long run. Now, I am not dismissing the centuries of genocide, warfare and exploitation waged on indigenous peoples throughout history (especially American history). But the message I believe for people today is to transform all that suffering into something useful. There's no more good guys and bad guys in the world today - we're all together in a cauldron of karmic soup and this "us" and "them" mentality is getting old. In the end, only the individual and any and all helpers (from this world and other worlds perhaps) one can enlist are ultimately responsible for the direction of one's life, and that is as it should be. Obstacles are placed in our way for good reasons if we're truly willing to look within and find the healing insight while leaving the anger behind. Regarding the modern protesters, half of whom are probably young people, impassioned by their beliefs that there should be some other way to exist on this planet than what they have observed, and the other half more like performers in a circus of anarchy or 1970's era Grateful Dead roadshow (minus the Grateful Dead!) - featuring people who have been protesting something (anything) for decades with always the same rhetoric, only slightly (sometimes) more original than the corporate culture they're seeking to supplant. Everyone dressed in their Halloween costumes, the protesters, the cops, even the police dogs. Of course, nothing ever changes as a result of these protests, especially in the protesters themselves. The faulty premise is that the world out there must change, rather than (more importantly in my view) the world in here (pointing to my head and heart). As I look at the global situation today, specifically as an American, I'll offer a different point of view on such protests and how to live like a true revolutionary (meaning one who would actually affect change).

1)Food: What we eat can be a revolutionary act. Those seeking to disconnect from the corporate marketing machine of modern American cuisine do have alternatives: grow your own - the sense of self-reliance and confidence gained from even the simplest garden has a tremendous effect on one's psyche and outlook. Wild foods - no advertising required, the essence of strength and vitality and free for everyone - from farm workers to CEO's. Local and small family farms: There's a real revolution in the making - get together with like-minded folks, meet your farmers and your food. Feel that connection to the land even if you're not doing the plowing, planting, and harvesting. Stick to real, whole foods - if it didn't walk around, swim or grow somewhere don't eat it.

2)Health Care: Instead of the debate being on focused on the Govt providing (or not providing) health care, why not focus on what that care involves? Disconnect from the medical-industrial complex and see where that leads you? What about taking charge of your own health? The amount of personal power you'll experience when you are no longer subject to whether or not the system will take care of you is revolutionary in terms of the way you'll live.

3)Vaccines: My main point here would be to oppose all mandatory vaccination programs. If people want to get vaccines, fine, but there is a chilling effect associated with mandatory vaccines.

4)Debt: One of the surest ways to find yourself enslaved is simply to owe something to someone. Think of the directions in life that no longer become an option when we are burdened with debt. Every-thing and every relationship is forever altered by the concept. The saddest story is the enslavement of all those bright (even) brilliant young folks, just out of very expensive private colleges, where they learned all their wonderful anti-capitalist rhetoric they're so eager to showcase in demonstrations like the G-20 (spoon fed to them by their sometimes well-intentioned college professors) burdened with such unbelievable student loan debt - and they think they've freed themselves from the corporate meat grinder?

5)Creativity: Nourish your creativity in any and all ways. Creative people are much less likely to be manipulated.

6)Politics: if you crave revolution, study the founders of America. They are far more radical, insightful and relevant to today's issues than anyone you're going to stumble across today. There seems to be an epidemic thirst for knowledge about the founders around people my age, not sure your average twenty something has that same yearning and he or she should.

7)Connect to Nature: The last and greatest way I would ever advise a budding revolutionary to cement their rebellion in something meaningful is to disconnect from the technological umbilical chord of modern life and get out in nature. Find the part of you that connects to that vast source of inspiration, education, and strength - that education won't run up any student loan bills, but it will give you lessons that will last you the rest of your life. Before we can save the environment we need to reconnect with it. If you doubt your connection to the cosmos, try running naked through the woods in a thunderstorm.

A Most Humble Herb: Plantain (Plantago Major and Plantago Lanceolota)

2009-09-18T05:40:00.000-07:00

Plantain is a really common weed! One of the more humble, invisible plants in my opinion-invisible in the sense that she is everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Loves growing through the cracks in the sidewalk and at roadsides and fields. Don't let her commonality fool you though. Plantain is a powerful healer. Next time you pass her on the sidewalk, stop by to say hello.

Plantain is very easily identified. I guess she is not hiding at all. She's saying, "hey, I'm right here. No, lower dude . . . even lower. Now, just move your feet. Right, here I am." Notice the five long lines on the leaves and, of course, the stalks with seeds. They get brown in the fall, and the seeds are edible when they mature as are the leaves at any time, though the leaves are best eaten when small. We used to play with the stalks as children. Remember, easy to ID Plantain: five fingers on your hands, five lines on the leaves. The leaves can be oval/roundish shaped or skinny and longer, the Lanceolata variety. Doesn't matter which one; they still have five lines and they both work great to heal wounds and almost any skin problem you could come up with, including itching, rashes, bug bites, you name it. You can use it many ways. Use fresh or make an infused oil with the leaves in extra virgin olive oil. That will take a few months to be ready. You then take out the leaves and save the oil. You can add a little beeswax to thicken it up, but I haven't done that. Keeps for many years and will provide much relief. Supposed to be a great remedy for diaper rash though I don't have any babies to test out that theory! The fresh leaves will stop bleeding right away, a great first aid remedy for cuts. Break off a few leaves and chew them up till they get pasty and then paste them on the wound. They'll stick there for a while until they fall off, painlessly, not at all like ripping off a bandage. The bleeding will stop and the infections will stay away. You'll marvel at how fast you heal. Probably be fun for kids to learn that trick! I wonder why there's so much plantain in the world (trust me, there's a lot once you start noticing it!), but we humans are always getting cuts and scrapes and itches, right? Makes sense to me, very helpful, common and free.

2009-09-16T03:12:00.000-07:00

This Sunday passed, I heard the voice of the summer. I listened to the crickets (or perhaps one cricket?) outside my window. There was a pause in the day. The neighborhood was quiet as if the children were all collectively taking one deep breath. I had taken a break from my yard work. In the stillness of a sunny, warm afternoon, more August-like than September, I listened with clarity and precision to the voice of the cricket, echoing the vibration of the last days of summer. Should I interject a sad tone to the song? That would be my emotional coloring, not necessarily the cricket's. The sound was a statement of resonance, nothing more and nothing less - the entirety of the message found in each single note or vibration: Beauty, warmth, comfort, fullness - a ripe, sweet quality - all my senses mixed together - how summer feels and tastes. Was it clear to me, in that moment, that I have a limited number of summers on this earth? (Not necessarily.) That this summer has passed, before I even acknowledged it? Appreciated it? Gave thanks and a blessing for it? (More likely.) Somehow in that emotional limitation, I also felt an eternal quality to the song, and in that moment time stopped entirely. I stepped off the physical reality of a spinning earth, revolving around the sun, the tiniest fragment imaginable in a huge milky spiral, constantly moving and changing, this moment gone, never to return. . .a whole life of passed by opportunities? In that one moment I accepted the cricket's song as proof enough that I had existed somewhere in time and space, but I was also beyond time and space. Somehow that moment was enough.

If You Get the Flu. . .

2009-09-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

I'd like to go over a few wonderful herbs to help you recover if you get the flu. For the purposes of this discussion, I'm suggesting using only tinctures in 100 proof alcohol - no capsules.

Elecampane (Inula Helenium)

You'll need to keep a moderate amount of Elecampane tincture around. It's easy to make your own by the way, but you can also purchase it. Elecampane is the ultimate lung ally! Use this herb when you feel the lung congestion associated with the flu (that tightness gripping your chest); many of the people who die from the flu, die from the infection moving into their lungs; they literally drown from not being able to breathe; Elecampane is the life guard coming to rescue the drowning person - and she can swim fast, too. For adults, I'd suggest using about one dropper full, that's about 25 drops, in a glass of water as many times as needed during the day, up to 4 to 6, but only when your lungs are suffering - you can adjust that dosage for younger folks. I wouldn't take it if your lungs are clear or after they clear, only take it when there is a problem. Seems to work best when not over-used. Elecampane is soothing and a gentle expectorant.

Echinacea Angustifolia

Keep large amounts of Echinacea tincture around - you use it a lot, especially if you have a family. The dose is to use 1 drop for each 2 pounds of body weight, so I weigh 200 lbs, and my dose is 100 drops (4 droppers full) in water. I can take that dose as many times a day as needed, every few hours if necessary. As I start to recover, I want to lessen the frequency of the dose but keep the dose the same. Echinacea will also help prevent the life threatening secondary infections that complicate matters with the flu, especially lung infections. You may not need the Elecampane if you use the Echinacea. You go to the Elecampane when the Echinacea does not seem to be strong or effective enough.

St. John's Wort

You'll probably use very large amounts of this herb so keep a lot on hand! I may use from four to six (or many more) droppers full several times a day if I've got the flu; St. John's Wort will ease our body aches as it keeps the virus at bay. You'll know you've used enough when the body aches lessen; when they come back, you need to use more or more frequently. This herb is especially useful before bed; you'll sleep much better without those aches and pains. Unlike Elecampane or Echinacea, St. John's Wort can be used as a preventative as well as after you've gotten sick and St. John's Wort can and should be used afterwards for a few days, whereas you'd stop the Elecampane as soon as your lungs clear and the Echinacea a day or two after you're feeling better, you could still take a preventative dose of St. John's Wort a week or so afterwards.

Think of your body as a beautiful palace. Surrounding the palace are lush tropical gardens. Around the gardens is a stone wall, covered with ivy. On the outside of the wall is a river flowing around the palace walls. Outside of the river is sandy soil with a few plants here and there. The flu virus could be pictured as invaders who approach the river, advancing slowly at first, leaving footprints in the mud. If you don't stop them at the river, they cross the river and get to the wall. If you don't stop them at the wall, they climb over and enter the gardens. If they should get past the gardens and enter the palace, you've got a real problem! The St. John's Wort will keep them from crossing the river. The Echinacea will strive to boot them out once they try to scale the wall, and the Elecampane will repel them once they cross the wall and try to enter the gardens. It is a multi-layered defense system. You employ the herbs at each level, changing the defense as needed if one herb is or isn't successful at protecting your body.

So an herbal prescription might look like this. St. John's Wort: four to six droppers full, 100-150 drops, 1X a day to prevent flu or 1 or 2X per day if you think you've been exposed. Once you know you've got the virus, take as often as needed, maybe up to four or more times a day. Echinacea: 1 drop per 2 pounds of body weight, only take when you're sick and for a short while thereafter, several times a day, increasing the frequency until you start to feel better; gradually taper down the frequency when you are feeling better but don't stop all at once; even take for a few days after you feel all better. Elecampane: around 25 drops, only when active lung congestion/infection is present. You should feel immediate relief after taking the Elecampane. If you don't, take another dose. Stop taking when your lungs clear.

Remember, these are guidelines, not hard and fast rules. Adjust them and work with your body's natural rhythms and always be flexible.

One of The Simplest Flu Prevention Strategies

2009-08-28T11:43:00.000-07:00

This is an easy one: Eat more Yogurt!

Yogurt is one of the most important foods you'll ever find when it comes to preventing disease, especially the flu, yet it is so often overlooked. Yogurt made from Organic or better yet raw milk will help strengthen your immune system by strengthening the friendly flora in your gut, one of the building blocks of your immune system. I suggest 1-2 cups a day with different meals, perhaps breakfast and dinner. Over time this small habit will make a huge difference. For that matter raw diary products again will bring so much strength and flexibility to your immune system, you might not even catch the common cold this winter.

Other obvious foods/herbs are garlic and onions, and mushrooms, especially shittake. I like an immune boosting omelet featuring shittake mushrooms sauteed lightly in oil and garlic with some raw milk cheese and avocados on the side; it is a hearty, warming, immune strengthening winter food! Hearty soups are also a great winter food and you can make large amounts once a week and have them during the week. Into these soups you can put American Ginseng (Panax quinquefolius), whether dried or fresh, to enhance the already potent immune strengthening qualities. To use Ginseng you really need to have a relationship with a grower and make sure quality and sustainability are honored; a lot of the Ginseng you may find is not grown properly or long enough to offer the healing powers of the plant. The older roots are more potent and more expensive. Ginseng is pretty expensive overall, much more so than most all the other herbs I write about, so keep that in mind. As far as growers, I can recommend Hardings farm in Maryland; check them out if you wish to try Ginseng. They'll ship to you wherever you are.

Herbal infusions are another gradual yet significant way to enhance the flexibility and strength of your immune system. I favor a rotation of Red Clover, Stinging Nettle, Linden Flowers, and Oatstraw. I usually drink one for a day or two and then move on to another. They're easy to make and relatively inexpensive. All you need is a mason jar, boiling water, and dried plant material. Let the infusion sit overnight and strain out the liquid the next morning, squeezing all the liquid from the plant material; then discard the plant material in your compost pile and refrigerate the liquid for up to two or three days of enjoyment! If you have fresh mints, they are always nice to put in there, but you may find you grow to like the taste of the infusions on their own after a while - give it time.

Find the foods and herbs that work for you and bring them into your diet on a regular basis; that's the key here. Everyday habits that you employ over time to produce a gradual yet dramatic effect. Much more to come so stay tuned.

St. John's Wort (Hypericum Perforatum)

2009-08-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

Perhaps my number one flu prevention herb would be St. John's Wort (Susun Weed often refers to it as St. Joan's Wort, but it is the same herb). St John or Joan as the case may be is one of the best flu preventive herbs. One dose a day during the flu season is not a bad idea at all. It can also be used when you think you may have been exposed to a virus. I often take St. John's Wort when flying and breathing the recycled air aboard modern aircraft or anytime I feel my immune system needs some gentle help. St. John's Wort is anti-viral above all else. It can also be used once you've come down with the flu and will greatly reduce the symptoms, especially that body ache that comes with fever. Well known for helping ease depression and especially seasonal depression, St. John's Wort is less well known as an anti-viral. Used in tincture format made from the fresh flowering tops of the plant is most effective. Easy to make, this tincture is also available in a number of places. I like Red Moon Herbs, but the best thing is to make your own! St. John's Wort captures the essence and warmth of the summer sun and brings it into your body into the deepest, darkest places where the viruses live! Great for eliminating Herpes as well as even more serious viruses like HIV - this is a powerful yet gentle herb. I had seasonal depression for many years, yet after taking St. John's Wort for just one winter, I was no longer troubled and actually felt (and continue to feel) energetic and happy during the December darkness! It seems as if my brain has been rewired! The oil (flowers infused in olive oil) is great as a sunburn preventive and also to ease burns of any kind. There are a thousand and one used for this plant so go and discover some new ones!

Swine Flu Part I

2009-08-25T14:29:00.001-07:00

A recent Presidential Advisory Report states that as many as half the US population could be infected with H1N1 this fall and winter. The report states that up 120 million may come down with the illness while another 30 million may carry it without symptoms. 1.8 million may be hospitalized while 90,000 could die, which is far more than a typical flu season. Most affected appear to be young adults, and the virus is spread by close contact, not necessarily airborne like in most flu seasons. Supposedly a vaccine will be ready soon, but I have my doubts as to how effective that may actually turn out to be. From what I know about flu vaccines, I would never get one. So then what would be an herbal approach? First, let's talk prevention and later what to do if you get sick.

Apparently, this virus is a mix of human, procine, and avian strains and fever is the number one symptom. After that sore throat, respiratory symptoms and digestive problems may be indicators as well. From a report studying early cases, the virus isn't that easily transmitted and close contact is required.

When I look at the numbers so far, I have to wonder if there's not a lot of hype on the part of governments. I suppose one cold argue preventing a global pandemic requires a bit of hype. 33,000 or so cases in the US with 170 deaths -- world-wide 90,000 cases with 382 deaths. I would imagine more people were killed by lightning or shark attacks or similar threats in 2009!

Could this be a case of scare/threaten the people to gain more control? That, of course, has never happened, right? Remember the phony Bush terrorism alerts, especially during the election of 2004? Was the Patriot Act really an appropriate response to 9-1-1? 1000+ pages no one read and of which no senator or member of congress wrote so much as one sentence? How about a war against Iraq for weapons of mass destruction? Obama is not Bush, you say? OK, true, but does he have any stake in how the American people feel about their relationship to the powers of the federal government and health care? Pundits have speculated that Obama's health care program, if not approved, may be his Waterloo. One thing I can tell you is Obama believes in big government solutions, and he doesn't (like the previous administration)necessarily care that much about personal freedom. Self-reliance is not as important as relying on big government and sweeping federal programs. People always seem to require a lifeline from the federal system in his world view. Like any good ultra-liberal, the government is always right as long as they're all liberal democrats. Not much different than Bush's, "you're either for me or against me" bullshit. Same energy, different ideology. So do I trust this administration anymore than the last? You know the answer. But I digress.

Let's talk about what we can all do for ourselves to help get through this global pandemic. I will offer low-tech, inexpensive and easy steps we can all do if we are willing to take some responsibility for our own health. Stay tuned.

Some Herbs For Sleep

2009-08-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

Again, I wish to stress I'm not suggesting sedation. That would only be applicable in extreme circumstances, certainly not on a regular basis. I'm talking about using herbs to help the body find its natural rhythms again and to nourish the body in all its processes. Sedation or stimulation for that matter exacts a toll on the overall well being of the person. You're stressing the body in the long run.

Let's now look at a few herbs with relation to sleep/dreams.

St. Johns Wort (Hypericum Perforatum): Tincture and oil. Tincture from 50 to 150 drops in water. The oil (topical application) is great in massages and for relieving nerve pain, like sciatica, often a cause of restless sleep. The tincture can be used in large doses frequently without any complications. The effect is both physical and mental, like the relaxation of spending a warm day in the sun at the beach - eases worry and anxiety. Great for alleviating seasonal depression as well - you'll learn to love the winter as much as the summer.

Oatstraw (Avena Sativa): Infusion made from the dried plant material. Drink up to a quart a day. Relaxes and nourishes the nervous system, will have quite a profound effect over time, allowing one to relax completely at night. Strengthens the nervous system as well as the cardiovascular system.

Motherwort (Leonurus Cardiaca): Tincture. 10-15 drops in water. Another great relaxing herb. A real heart tonic as well, whether one's troubles be physical or emotional. Great for relieving cramps, esp. of the nighttime variety. Promotes restful sleep and dreams to boot.

Cronewort (Artemisia Vulgarus): Dried in Dream Pillows. A powerful dream tonic for those at a loss for good (by good I mean useful and vivid) dreams; just having it near you as in a dream pillow will stimulate that sacred nighttime process so many are deprived of with the drain on the psyche the modern life exerts.

Camomile (Anthemis nobilis): Infusion or Tea. Famous sleepy time herb used by millions. Such a beautiful summertime flower. The relaxation of a lovely summer afternoon.

Healthy Sleep???

2009-08-24T14:35:00.001-07:00

I can tell you a few things I've learned from my own experiences, both successes and failures in the land of sleep and dreams.

Light at Night: One of the worst things you can do is expose yourself to bright light at night. Several hours before actually sleeping, it is great to turn down the lights; just as the light wanes outside, let it wane inside, too. Candles would be great though probably not too practical for most, but the idea of gradually slipping into sleep works much better than jumping into bed and expecting your brain to shut down like a PC. It doesn't work like that. The diminishing light tells your brain to start moving into the night mode and leave the day's work behind. Get used to the darkness, even a leisurely walk outside, if you don't live in a city, isn't a bad idea. I'm all for sleep rituals, too. Whatever works for you, do it, but make it a nightly routine, something familiar and comforting - whether that's a hot tub or bath or just hanging out with loved ones be they people or animals. Whatever brings comfort and peace to you. Praying and meditating may also work for you as well. I'm not sure the old prayer "if I die before I wake" (who came up with that one?) is the way to go, but knowing your soul is in a safe place and at peace as you slip away from your conscious activity (a small death or death metaphor for sure) isn't a bad deal!

I find personally if I haven't eaten enough protein and fat during the day, my sleep is adversely affected. Carbs seem to be the worst thing for healthy sleep. I'd eat my carbs as early in the day as possible, save the protein and fat for a little later. I'm not talking about a T-Bone steak a half hour before bed, but if your blood sugar swings too far in ether direction, you won't get to sleep or stay asleep. Nothing better than protein and fat for stabilizing blood sugar. Yeah, avoiding the cookies and ice cream so many of us love at night is probably a good idea as well!

Stay away from technology. Want to completely screw up your sleep? Check your e-mail before going to bed. TV is bad enough but PC's, cell phones, etc. are not what you want around your head. Stimulation is not the goal. If you do watch TV, don't do it in the bedroom; leave the TV and go to your bedroom. If there are electric appliances around your bed where you sleep, unplug them. You don't want any electric fields messing with your brain.

Speaking of bedrooms, the key here again is to have as little light as possible. No TV's, of course, no alarm clocks with bright letters, no light of any kind is best. Get dark shades that block out the outside light too if possible. If you can't do that, they sell blindfolds for travelers which can be used -- I'll say I've never found one that's really comfortable or one that stays on all night, but they can really help, at least the beginning of the sleep cycle to block out the light. Only in darkness does your brain release the proper amount of melatonin, the sleep hormone. Any light in the room, however minuscule, messes with that process. I'm not a big fan of doing much other than sleeping in bed either - I wouldn't watch TV or do my taxes in bed. The bed should be a private, safe, quiet place for resting, not a business office. Supposedly Hemingway did most of his writing in bed! He also drank like crazy and committed suicide around 60 years of age; I'm sure he must have suffered from sleep disorders of one kind or another. Keep the covers warm or cooler depending on your preference. I also like a pillow under the knees, as it helps to relieve lower back tension. Massages are great too, but a real professional massage is better a few hours before going to bed; sometimes massages can actually have a reverse effect of stimulating you - same thing goes for acupuncture treatments. Get them early in the day if you go that route. Of course, a gentle massage by a significant other can never hurt. I mentioned Hemingway's drinking; well in fact drinking will also screw up your sleep patterns. If you must, a moderate amount with dinner, preferably red wine, but know that excess alcohol will ruin your sleep cycle - you might sleep 18 hours, like an old alcoholic friend of mine used to, but it won't be restful or nourishing!

More on light: The time when light really helps you sleep is in the AM after you wake up. Getting that morning light in your face helps to set your biological clock so you'll be on a day/night schedule. In fact as much sunlight as you can get during the day is probably going to help. Those indoor lights trick your brain. The sun never does. Even fifteen minutes a day of sun in your face will really help. Close your eyelids and bask in the warmth and comforting feelings the sun brings. Regarding exercise, I think it's great during the day, but as the night gets closer, I think it's a bad idea. Getting your heart rate up at night can't possibly be sending your brain the message that it's time to start relaxing.

I haven't even talked about herbs yet, but I'll say for now, there are healthy uses of herbs for sleeping and not so healthy uses. Sedating is not the desired goal here. We want to promote the body's natural rhythms, not drug ourselves. I'll save herbs for another blog in fact. This is a big subject. To be continued. . .

Great Video on Raw Milk

2009-08-21T04:07:00.000-07:00

Check it out: RAW MILK

Dairy Farmers In Trouble

2009-08-21T02:41:00.000-07:00

Interesting series of reports on NPR yesterday about the problems facing dairy farmers these days. Many family farms are going under as raw milk prices have dropped substantially in the last few years. Of course, all this raw milk is sold to be processed (pasteurized) and by the time it makes it to the shelf of the grocery story, the price hasn't dropped at all as the middle man so to speak is making all the profit. Apparently two huge corporations are involved: DFA (Dairy Farmers of America) and Dean Foods. DFA buys something like one-third of the nation's raw milk and Dean distributes it as I understand it in my overly-simplified manner. These huge corporations are doing great, and as I've stated consumers have seen no dramatic drop in milk prices at the retail level, while the smaller family farms are going down the tubes. I wonder if selling their own raw milk on a small scale (like the farm I purchase milk from, Birchwood Dairy farm - see earlier blog on Raw Milk) is an option for some of them? Do they even know of the demand for raw milk products? Think about how your support of small family farms flies in the face of this modern American collectivization type movement where more and more huge corporations are distributing the nation's food and all the problems inherent in that system; why is it that extreme corporate capitalism always reminds me more of a Communist system than anything resembling a so-called free market? I know it wouldn't work for everyone, but the solution of going small and local would save some farmers and provide a better product for the consumer, made with more TLC and attention to quality because their name is right on that product and less antibiotics/hormones so the cows and people whom consume the product would be so much better off, not to mention the environment (without the need for shipping foods hundreds of miles and all the use of fuel that entails). Everyone wins, except DFA and Dean Foods. If you know any dairy farmers who are in trouble, let them know of the huge demand for raw milk - might be an option for some.

2009-08-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

As a raccoon looks on, your dreams like the Cronewort can't be stopped.

2009-08-20T07:02:00.000-07:00

What is that huge issue weighing you down, making your heart heavy? The mountain obstructing the sun's rays from your face? Keeping you forever in shadow, awash only in doubt as you curl up in terror? The most horrible, painful, unsolvable, rock-solid thing. . . the form that is so well established, so certain. . . I can show you the hardest form is merely an imaginary matrix that is only as solid as swirling water vapor. Like a thunderhead rocking the earth with the fury of the storm and minutes later dissipating into emptiness again. Have I ever been born? Ever lived? Ever died? Are there really any colors or shapes or thoughts? Who are these other souls wandering around in the dark, smiling, crying, laughing? Is this pain and fear real? What happens when I simply allow the release and the emptiness that follows? Why have I invested so much in this form I call reality? My sweat and tears. This process is grinding my bones into dust again and again, only to flow once more into the sea with the rush of muddy rivers.

Dreams

2009-08-12T05:33:00.000-07:00

Mugwort/Cronewort (Artemisia Vulgaris) Is one powerful dream herb! Just having it near you when you sleep is enough to bring on powerful, vivid dreams. I was in the process of clearing some from a small garden area a few weeks ago and just cutting down and handling the plants opened up a new window of dreams for me starting that night onward. I decided to dry the portions I cut down for future use; last night I brought the dried plants into the house and my dream life woke up last night in a big way - hours and hours of dreams, I seemed to return to at will, full of colors, and lots of animals - always animals in my dreams. I made vinegar from the same bunch earlier in the year, though I may have waited too long as it is pretty bitter stuff (best to make vinegar from the smaller leaves). But what else would I expect from a family of bitters? I may use the dried herb for dream pillows later in the fall.

More on Nettle

2009-08-06T06:48:00.000-07:00

Think about how much pain, anxiety and depression are caused by separation, first from the Divine, often from loved ones, some known to us and many we’ve yet to meet but somehow still long for, from dreams, the gulf between what is and what could be, from the higher version of ourselves, that better person we aspire to become, yet the times when we fall short are mostly what we hold onto in our minds or are reminded of by others seeking control over our pain. This separation is the hard, cold reality of life. So many of our relationships are forged from pain; we are bound together by our wounds, yet we seem to be left only with scars; this experience is what we call the real world, yet it is no more or less real than any dream or parallel reality. The pain itself becomes the thing to which we attach because it links us to the loss, and at least (I tell myself) if I hold onto the thought of the thing I’m missing (even in shadow form via suffering), there is still some link to it, like the memory of a dear one who’s no longer with us. Suffering is probably the most common experience of human life. Every illness is about pain. Every treatment about pain relief. Nettle transforms pain and moves us through it to the other side. Nettle makes the synapse fire, bridging the gap, providing the electricity that sparks movement. Nettle creates waves of bliss that level the valleys of doubt. The pain and suffering now transform us. We take in the power of Nettle and become one again. We take in pain and exhale bliss. Nettle is a green house of strength and reassurance. Nettle brings the minerals of the earth up out of the ground and back into our blood so we remember where we came from, and we don’t just know it intellectually, we experience it.

More On Raw Milk

2009-08-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

A friend and colleague of mine just e-mailed me an interesting (and mostly fair and well-written I might add) local piece on raw milk.In "Getting Real About Raw Milk" I found one point of view expressed in the article particularly meaningful. According to Bobbi Seidel:

People in the public health community are firmly against raw milk being allowed for sale,'' says Donald W. Schaffner, Ph.D., director of the Center for Advanced Food Technology at Rutgers University. "Milk was one of the first foods to be required to be pasteurized. This is because back when that was instituted in the early part of the 20th century people were getting sick because there were dangerous bacteria present in the milk. . . .Food poisoning associated with raw milk still occurs, he says. From 1998 to 2005, 45 outbreaks associated with raw milk or cheese resulted in more than 1,000 illnesses, 104 hospitalizations and two deaths, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

That's two deaths in seven years. Now, I'll leave you something from another article, "Death By Medicine" by Null (et al.) :

The total number [in 2001] of iatrogenic deaths [deaths caused by medical procedures] shown in the following table is 783,936. It is evident that the American medical system is the leading cause of death and injury in the United States. The 2001 heart disease annual death rate is 699,697; the annual cancer death rate, 553,251" and "Our estimated 10-year total of 7.8 million iatrogenic deaths is more than all the casualties from all the wars fought by the US throughout its entire history.

Perhaps we should be more cautious about the medical (or military) industrial complex than raw milk, yet I've never heard of any laws banning either institution.

Seven Health Myths You Probably Thought Were True

2009-08-05T04:04:00.000-07:00

1) The sun is bad for you. How'd they ever sell this crap to our fine species? I once heard a Dermatologist on TV telling people to put sunscreen on every day of the year - in the winter in New Jersey, when you're walking outside for the 15 seconds it takes you to get from your front door to your car because "all sun exposure is damaging". Not getting sun exposure is much more damaging. The sun is essential for healthy brain chemistry and regulating your body's day/night rhythms so you sleep well, and sleeping well prevents a great many diseases. If you wear sunscreen, you lose the vitamin D you would have gotten. Vitamin D prevents cancers like breast, prostate, lung and colon. We have an epidemic of depression in this country, and I think a lot of people would be helped by getting more sunshine. If you're afraid of skin cancer, eat more anti-oxidants because that's the best (and only?)way to repair mutations in your DNA, no matter the cause. So go out in the sun without sunscreen (15-30 minutes a day, more if your skin isn't so fair) and eat your blueberries!

2)Raw or slightly cooked (less cooked) foods especially vegetables are the healthiest. Not true. if you are cooking veggies and you do not break the cell wall of the plants, you get no minerals from the food. How do you know if the cell wall is broken? The broccoli gets soft and loses it's firmness, for example. So cook your veggies a while; one healthy way is to make soups where you throw everything but the kitchen sink in there and cook slowly for a long period of time. The water you cook something in should get dark; then you know the minerals are in there. Your teeth and digestive processes can not break the cell walls of the plants, and all you're getting from that expensive organic kale is a bit of fiber and nothing else - you'd get vitamins as well if you grew it yourself, but if it was shipped 3000 miles, the vitamins would likely be long gone too. Remember there are also ways to "cook" without heat. What happens to a salad when you put olive oil on it? Is fruit that has naturally ripened well soft or hard? How about frozen fruit? What happens when it starts to melt some?

3)Cell phones/electromagnetic waves are harmless. Sorry about this one. Cell phones should never be worn on your body, and if you have anything other than a short conversation, use a headset and not a wireless one either. If you have wireless Internet network in your home, take it out. Children's exposure should be minimized. Many countries have either banned children from using cell phones completely and/or banned cell towers near schools. The epidemic of ADD may in fact be related to children's exposure to all this radiation . We are literally frying our kids' brains.

4)Vitamin supplements are good for you. Most vitamins are complete crap and probably do more harm than good. At best you spend a lot of money and get little, at worst you are damaging your body with the best of intentions. If you take Vitamin E without the full range of Tocopherols or Vitamin C without the Bioflavanoids that are found in the plants, you are likely promoting cancer rather than preventing it. It is also very hard to absorb most vitamins. Most of the oils people take as supplements are rancid; rancid oil (again) promotes damage to your cardiovascular system and cell DNA. If you must take them, use the liquid forms when available. Women are told to take their calcium supplements. That's great if you want Osteoporosis! We need a wide range of minerals to make our bones strong, not just calcium; you want flexible bones, not simply strong bones! Taking just calcium makes your bones weaker.

5) Diary is bad for you. In our PC country, milk and diary have gotten a bad rap, mostly by a lot of vegan-police and animal rights nut-jobs, and by people who hate women. See my earlier blog on raw milk! The fact is diary products are the healthiest, most life-sustaining foods the human race has ever cultivated - period. Real simple, without cows we wouldn't be here. Yogurt is one of the healthiest and most important foods on the planet. The friendly bacteria yogurt provides is vital for a strong and healthy immune system. Did you know the bacteria in yogurt is strong enough to prevent the transmission of HIV? Have you ever heard some well indoctrinated person tell you "milk is made for baby cows" or "no other species drinks the milk of another species". Really, so if I put out a saucer of cow's milk, my cat won't drink it? The energy behind this anti-milk consciousness is one of complete hatred and disgust for the divine feminine energy; that's what underlies all this nonsense. If you crusade against milk, you probably hate women.

6)Running is a great exercise. For most of us running is a terrible exercise. You need to know how to run properly (most don't), you need the right shoes (most wear anything without regard to the affects on body position), you need to know a lot about nutrition and replacing what you lose while running (most don't), and running on hard surfaces in polluted areas, like most people do, is really punishing and damaging to our bodies over time. Most people don't have the bodies for running anyway - too heavy and big boned. Additionally, running in especially hot weather drains kidney chi and you don't want that. Look at most runners after an hour of running in the heat; unless they are 18, the drawn, drained look on their faces is evident. They are literally sucking the life force right our of their body and shortening their lives, unless they go to great lengths to rejuvenate that vital energy through nutrition and other practices. And marathons? Complete insanity. Gary Null (a world famous writer/film maker and runner from NYC) studied the immune systems of marathon runners; after a race, they had a lower immune response than terminal AIDS patients. Hey, there are way worse ways to shorten your life, so if you crave that runner's high, go for it, but just don't think it's necessarily healthy. If you love to run, get a coach or a trainer to work with you. Make sure your form is correct. Find the right running shoes, do some chi-building exercise like Tai Chi or Yoga and take in antioxidants by the bucket full. Run on grass in parks or woodlands, or by the ocean if possible, not on the gridlocked city streets! But if you're my size, 6'3" 200 lbs, it's probably best to find another exercise.

7)Vaccines are safe and efficacious. This one is old unless you've been living in a cave for the last 20 years. I'm glad parents of small children are catching on to this and questioning the timing and frequency of suggested vaccine schedules and not just blindly following along the prescribed program. I also mention this one because I'm sure they'll be a push for the newest flu vaccine this fall. If you knew of all the dangerous chemicals in some of these vaccines, you probably wouldn't want them injected into your body. Look up Squalene and Thimerosal for starters.

Raw Milk

2009-08-04T03:56:00.000-07:00

A friend got me interested in raw milk about a year ago, and I'm really hooked! I don't know how many of you have ever experienced the joy of raw diary products, but it is a sad state of affairs that many of us are so often removed from real foods and their nourishing properties.Now raw milk is not sold for human consumption in New Jersey, so I must travel across the Pennsylvania state line to obtain my illegal treasure. I feel like a rum runner with a milk mustache. Imagine I can buy a case of whiskey and drink myself to death, but raw milk, now that's dangerous stuff. I have the good fortune of being only an hour's drive away from Birchwood Farms in Newtown, PA (just outside of New Hope). I love supporting local farmers and Birchwood has a lot to love. They've got all kinds of products mostly centered around their grass fed Jersey cows. Cows are supposed to eat grass by the way, so much of he so-called dangers of eating meat is because of the factory farmed product -- in reality meat is an incredibly healthy food in small quantities! Well, back to the milk: raw is the way to go. The short story of raw milk is that it makes you feel so good: You get strength and vitality from the living energy of the milk. Much of that life force is unfortunately lost during pasteurization. I fully understand the issues the modern world faced regarding the necessity of feeding millions and millions of people, but we lost the health benefits of so many common foods due to over-processing. Foods that were once healthy and life giving became disease producing. Cancer and heart disease were rare until the 2oth century when the modernization of the food industry really took off. Instead of going large, like the Soviet Union collectivist model of the 1930's, they should have gone small and local and organic.

Much like vaccines, the theory behind the over-processing of food (milk in this case) is that we must look out for the greater number of people; we must standardize everything to the max. If any product (or disease) could potentially harm someone, something must be done about it, even if that preventative action harms (or kills) some of the people. If the greater number of people are protected (or have the illusion of protection) then that's all that matters. Always give up freedom and individuality for security. Words like standard, average, normal, preserved, dead come to my mind. The premise is that people are not really free individuals capable of making their own decisions in a democracy. We are wards of the state and the state always knows best. Maybe all the vitamins, minerals, enzymes and easily absorbable protein in the raw milk have made me crazy, but I'd rather place my trust in an honest farmer and cow than the government. Talk to others about raw milk and you'll likely hear stories of children whose lives have been saved, how allergies go away, how vital and resilient one's immune system becomes when offered such super nutrition. People come from hundreds of miles away to get the stuff and gladly pay much higher prices, but before you freak out about spending 7.50 for a gallon of milk (I pay about 5-6 for a gallon of organic, pasteurized milk in my local grocery store anyway), I would ask you to consider the true cost of a product rather than simply the bottom line. What is health and vitality worth to you and your loved ones? I urge you to explore places like Birchwood Farms to see for yourself. You won't believe the difference.

For more info check out:
Birchwood Farm
Raw Milk

Stinging Nettle (Urtica Dioicia)

2009-08-02T03:10:00.000-07:00

So, I begin with my great green ally Stinging Nettle (Urtica Dioicia).

Notice I included the Latin name (above) - why do weeds have Latin names? Think about that one for starters. Consider your definition of a weed. People can be weeds, too. Ask Hitler or Margaret Sanger. Ask Dick Cheney - he knows a lot about what he considers human weeds and what we do to them. The list goes on and on.

We also live in a society that craves elitism. The (Donald) Trumping of America. First class, gated communities - I am somebody, can't you see by my clothes or my car or the way people treat me? My great wealth and power are my validation. I will show you what is truly important and valuable. You will want what I am.

Weeds are not elite, neither is healing. Michael Jackson spent 150K a month on his private physician -- how many of us could afford that elite level of health care?

Obama supposedly wants health care for everyone, but what are we (ok, you) putting your trust in? You can't trust a weed can you? Does a weed have more access to the energy/information that heals than your doctor? I'm perhaps questioning the content that would be delivered in a Government Health care system - that goes beyond the basic question of whether or not a Government can or should provide health care - which, unfortunately, seems to be where the focus of the debate has stuck. I realize I need to be careful here because I do not want to be drawn into the same category as so many who oppose Obama's health care initiative for very different reasons.

If weeds could only talk -- oh, that's right, they can. The word weed has evolved to a more pejorative meaning -- it used to mean just grass or herb, now it is imposing it's will on our gardens or lawns, invasive, taking over, not clean or safe or controllable. Something to be dealt with harshly. As a modern day human, believer only in science and technology, I'll decide what/who lives and dies. I am a master abortionist - god-like in my insanity.

Nettle is a great weed to start with. Just get to know that one weed and your life will change. I have had a deep and long relationship with Nettle. We have been intimate many times. It is definitely tough love. Nettle is in my blood now, green and dark. Nettle grows really fast, great at taking energy out of the universe and shaping it into the material world. Hmm, which organs do that? Kidneys and lungs for starters -- liver maybe -- blood is pretty important to that process -- could Nettle help my kidneys and lungs? Strengthen and build my blood? My immune system? Help me breathe better? What's the stinging about? Touch it and find out! Touch it hard and less/no pain; try to be gentle and you'll get zapped worse. Stand up for yourself. Why are you sneaking around like a mouse -- maybe you're a lion instead? Only one way to find out. Get your head out of your ass and look around.

Nettle is about fast, quick observation, sensory perceptions: let's have fun with your nervous system while we're at it. Is pain bad? Can pain be pleasurable? How's that possible? Can I breathe through pain and transform it into something else? Can I use my pain for something other than mere misery? Can I dance with pain? Does it hurt less if I'm flowing with it, flowing into it, letting it move through me instead of sticking somewhere? What are all these perceptions but signals anyway? Why do we attach emotions to these signals? Why not learn from them instead? They are just energy, usually hurts more when stuck -- let it out. Scream or cry! There's the trick to living and Nettle will teach you. Easy to say not so easy to do. So much more on Nettle to come.

The First Entry

2009-07-30T11:46:00.000-07:00

Here's the first (and I have no idea how many there will be) installment in my Talking Weeds blog. I suppose you could take the title a few different ways: either talking (about) weeds or talking weeds (quite literally). If you know me at all, the last option is not out of the question! I've always been quite fond of weeds, all plants for that matter, but especially weeds. As an herbalist, weeds are a constant reminder of how many green friends (helpers) I have around me, almost anywhere I might end up on this planet.I suppose, then, this blog will be about herbs and healing, but (again) if you know me at all, I probably will drift away to many different fields of discussion and information.

Why do I love weeds? Well, they are really strong, resilient, just show up in the strangest places, and are often great healing helpers in our journey through life. They are also (often) ignored at best or persecuted by all kinds of chemicals, herbicides, etc., especially in the United States in neighborhoods like mine.It always hurts when I see the suburban dude and his canister of whatever spraying down his poisons on an unsuspecting weed. But the joke's on us. The weeds will come back. Probably stronger than before. The carcinogens might kill us, but the weeds will be back. If we were suddenly gone from this planet, it would amaze most of you all how fast the plants would reclaim the earth as our human imprint faded with time. We sure think we're all that, but the plants realize the human ego is a rather funny or pathetic invention, depending on the situation.So I'll be speaking for the weeds, not that they need me to do so, but I will (mostly for our sake). I've learned a few things from my green friends and will pass along the wisdom. I wouldn't expect Hemingway or anything, but we'll see where this goes. If you should ever read this and have a comment or question, fire away. I hate talking to myself!